Poetically Jstar

Business Card

2012-01-24T15:06:00.001-06:00

I just made up some business card to do some networking at my poetry readings. Whatcha think?

Tune in to my interview

2012-01-21T06:33:00.001-06:00

Tune in to Intimate Lyrics to hear Persia Red and Insight Seeker interview yours truly : -) today at 12pm.
Part two will be next Saturday at 12pm

http://www.wowuradio.net/shows.html

To chat with Intimate Lyrics-Persia Red and Insight Seeker on Facebook

http://intimatelyrics.blogspot.com/2012/01/intimate-lyrics-debuts-j.html?m=1

Feb 11th Performance

2012-01-20T10:03:00.000-06:00

I meant to post this flyer instead of a past one lol...

Neglect

2012-01-20T09:59:00.000-06:00

I soo applogize for neglecting my blog. Its hard, I have been crazy busy. Doing a lot more on the poetry scene. I recorded for the first show of Intimate Lyrics which airs this saturday at 12pm http://intimatelyrics.wowradip.net/ check me out :-) I have two more readings lined up Feb 11th at Island Cafe, then Feb 14th at the DC Soundstage. So I am excited about those events.

My Forever

2012-01-12T18:32:00.001-06:00

Mind and heart focused and in a zone
Although our future is unknown
Truth is that I've been yours from day one
We can't take back the past and all that we have done
Realized the grass was never greener after many mistakes
Both causing the other pain and heartaches
But the passion we share has a hold on our souls
Resisting is useless because it's no longer within our control
Since we have yet again reconnected, I feel comfort within
Emotions overflowing leaving my head in a spin
I've lost my breath as my heart skips a beat
My knees are weak, making me lose the balance of my feet
The feelings being felt are beyond explanation
Now it's time to expound upon our foundation
To discover what this is that keeps our attention
The depths are beyond any comprehension
After it all, we have grown stronger than ever
You have always been my one, my forever

Performance

2011-12-19T07:16:00.000-06:00

Good Morning All! I have been unable to get on my blog lately. Sooo much has been going on. I see when I am able to post from my phone app, my followers are sliming down. I am also not able to return the love as much.

The pics above were from my Poetry Reading Saturday night. I did soooooo much better this time. I read slower, learned how to use the mic :) and everyone was able to hear every word. I was nervous, but did not allow that to affect my performance.

Stage Fright

2011-12-05T21:56:00.002-06:00

Its not easy to get up here
With an audience so near
Eyes focused on me awaiting the message I am to deliver
To my core I feel a shiver
The pit of my stomach is in knotts
From the spotlight I am starting to see spots
That lump in my throat forming
My embarassment of performing
But I am making yet another attempt to overcome my fears
And in front of others sharing my tears
Friends and family for years didn't even know I wrote
Words that only to the paper I spoke
My hearts desires written in words that define me as a whole
Demonstrating the love that seeps from the depths of my soul
As well as detailing some of my dissapointments that led to anger
Up here, sharing a part of me in front of strangers
This mic extremely terrifies me
As much as I try to hide its obvious to see
No matter how well I know the piece, my mind goes blank
I bring a back -up reference, so I won't have to think
Because poetry is my lifes eyesight
If I can only get over this damn stage fright

Affects of AIDS

2011-12-01T08:49:00.001-06:00

It all started with a cough that just wouldn't go away
He still hadn't even admitted he was gay
He felt sick every day, he knew something wasn't quite right
He didn't have the strength anymore to fight this fight
After confirmation, then came deep depression
His family finally heard his heartfelt confessions
Depression took over and consumed
His worst fears were a reality and no longer assumed
He gave up hope completely
He was grieving inside deeply
Seclusion was his first defense
Total lies his lover told were the greatest offense
He now needed assistance with moms care
The pain was more then he could bare
His body was covered with a horrible rash
Continuously cursing at everyone, breaking moms heart with each lash
He didn't have the energy to get out of bed
It caused extreme pain to even move his head
Thresh would build up in his throat causing him to choke
His only enjoyment was his coffee and to smoke
His friends didn't understand and was scared to come around
Feelings of abandonment were profound
He lost so much weight that he looked like a skeleton covered with skin
He felt as if he were being punished for his sins
He refused his medication because he no longer wanted his life prolonged
This world he never felt as if he really belonged
He was always teased and tortured his entire childhood
It was obvious he was gay just by the way he stood
In his final days he told mom he saw God and that He needed him
He said the flowers in His garden were so amazingly beautiful even down to the stems
But he didn't want to leave his mother here
She told him his time to leave was near
She would miss him dearly but couldn't stand to see him suffer another day
Saying goodbye to her son wasn't easy finding the right words to say
Watching the constant torture was driving her insane
After three long years of suffering and pain
I knew he was gone at 5am, as soon as I heard the phone ringing
It sounded just like the angels were singing
He was now pain free and in a better place
Now life without him was not easy to face

Motivation

2011-11-18T10:27:00.001-06:00

I have lost my motivation
My need for a standing ovation

Its hard to write when things are down
And even harder to reverse this frown

Everything is hitting me all at once
Piling up for months

My faith is constantly being tested
My mind is restless

Confusion invades
Scattered thoughts persuade

A strong need to release
And again find that inner peace

Rebuking these constant attacks
Forcing my motivation back

Reading

2011-11-03T16:18:00.001-05:00

Well I am going to try to read two of my pieces tonight. Trying so hard to get over my stage frieght. I am going to read "Whisper" and "Real" that have been recently posted. Please pray that I can get through this..this time

Whisper

2011-11-03T14:00:00.001-05:00

Soft whispers in my ear
Ignoring the sounds that I hear

Heading in the direction I feel
Forgetting nightly to kneel

Stressing because nothing is going as planned
And I don't understand

Not happy with the person I became
But still I don't hear Him calling my name

Daily He makes his presence known
The inevitable postponed

Until I had no choice but to turn to Him
Bringing light to what was once dim

Overwhelming feelings
Of an inner healing

Letting go of personal expectations
No longer worrying about complications

My path is now clear
Allowing His word to adhere

In His joy I rejoice
Reconizing His voice

Wordless

2011-11-02T19:09:00.001-05:00

A wordsmith left speechless
Unable to capture the intensity of feelings felt
No rythmn can display the beating of my heart
The depths of this love no one can envision
Justice not conveyed in the simplicity of words

Relive

2011-11-02T18:41:00.001-05:00

I love from the core of my soul,
With everything in me

Freely given yet sometimes stolen,
At times my mind and heart don't agree

I haven't always made smart choices,
Giving my love to those that didn't deserve

Ignoring the signs and inner voices,
Even went years with my love on reserve

Ran from true love staring me in the face,
Scared to again be hurt

Although my heart was still beating at a rapid pace,
My one and only I chose to dessert

But without his love I couldn't breathe,
Feeling totally empty and alone

As much as I denied true love was already concieved,
Chill bumps formed from just his tone

My whole heart is only his to claim,
All the love inside that I have to give

Since the day we met I have never been the same,
That love we once shared I want to relive

Real

2011-10-27T18:17:00.001-05:00

Looking for your love in all the wrong faces
Running from you, leaving my heart displaced
The more I ran, the more I wanted you
I have always been yours, and you always knew
Loving you scared me to my core
But always left me wanting more
I allowed past mistakes to interfere
With what I already knew to be sincere
Even when we became distant
Attempting to be resistant
Everything in me, loves you with everything I have to give
That place in me that your love lives
No one can replace
With any other face
I can no longer deny how I feel
I can no longer run from what's real

Defeated

2011-10-27T17:01:00.001-05:00

Keep checking my phone,
Making sure I haven't missed a call or text

My heart is aching for your touch,
Loving you is a natural reflex

Missing time spent,
The feel of your kisses absorbed

Can't get enough of you,
Wanting you more and more

Your voice rings in my ear
Your tone makes me feel as your near

Anticipating the day our eyes again meet
Giving in to our hearts defeat

Poetry

2011-10-27T16:01:00.001-05:00

You are the air in my lungs
The ink that bleeds from my pen
Displaying life inspirations
My heart beats to its own rythmn
Poetry imerges from my pores

Performance

2011-10-23T08:42:00.001-05:00

Here is me on stage trying to read

Smh

2011-10-20T23:59:00.001-05:00

I reposted the last three poems for easy access became I was to do a reading. I tried soo hard but soooooo choked

Healed

2011-10-20T17:04:00.001-05:00

Hollowed heart and dented frame
Buried deep, love remnants remain
Echoes of repeated mistakes
Mind no longer aches
Inner peace and joy refill
With the strength of God's will
Truth no longer concealed
Once broken, now healed

Memories

2011-10-20T17:01:00.001-05:00

Mind drifting to places unknown
Sighs float in the wind like a whisper
Smelling the frangrance of his cologne
Images are bright and getting crisper

Seconds and hours disappear
Times lost does not return
The past seems far but near
Feelings capture and do not adjourn

Moments embraced as the clock ticks
Words no longer able to say
Broken promises remain unfixed
Memories constantly replay

Just Once More

2011-10-20T16:57:00.001-05:00

Lying here in this bed next to him
Wanting him to touch and love me until my knees go numb
Longing to feel his soft kisses on my neck
Loving me all the way down past the small of my back
His hands gently caressing my thighs
Making my senses alert and sensitive to his touch
Craving to feel him deep inside
Taking me to our sensual place
Induldging into pure ecstasy
Falling asleep in his arms
Awakening to his much desired kisses
But instead
I lay next to this man that I love with every molecule of my body
Hurting, missing the love we shared
Both knowing we cannot be, not now
But our love is so powerful it keeps pulling us back
Now we lay here as two friends would
Pretending we don't want to give in
Just once more...

Hiatas

2011-10-03T19:29:00.001-05:00

Sorry for the long hiatas. Soo much has been going on in my world, good and bad. I was originally working hard doing end of fiscal year close outs just to find out that our company lost our contract last week. So after the inital shock of being jobless I am now motivated and positvely pursuing where I want my career to go. With the help of good friends and my faith, I know bigger and better things are coming and I can no longer worry. Now that I will have plenty of time on my hands I will have no exuse not to write :)

I was having trouble posting from the bloggerdroid app so I am now posting from the reg blogger app so I hope this one works better.

Climb

2011-09-09T07:33:00.000-05:00

Cleansed my heart from past pains

My confidence I regained

The ability to trust

A clear vision to see past lust

Speaking what comes to mind

Biting my tongue has resigned

Stronger I stand

Respect I demand

Taking life one day at a time

Cherishing each journey I climb

TGIF!!!! This really wasnt heavy on my heart, but the words formed as they are. I am thinking someone needed a reminder of this strength and overcoming I have displayed...I dont question what comes out naturally...I hope everyone has a safe and blessed weekend!

Conceived

2011-09-08T08:09:00.002-05:00

Awakening to your kisses

Your scent consumed as I breathe in

Last night’s passion reminisced

This is the way each day should begin

Smiling from the inside out

With that extra stride in my step

At the top of my lungs I shout

That next level overstepped

Love displayed in my eyes

Wearing my heart on my sleeve

Within emotions arise

Each day, a stronger love we conceive

Good Morning All! This is just how I am feeling this morning :) Just how those morning kisses set your day off... *wink*

Done

2011-09-01T07:44:00.002-05:00

The ticking of the clock has my heart on edge

Pondering the evidence and truths you allege

Tired of the same old games

The reasons your actions claim

Being the only one to put forth sacrifice

While your appetite you continue to entice

Telling me the same as your telling them

After I put my heart out on the limb

Gave you another chance

An opportunity for us to advance

You’re only confessing because you were caught

With no account for my feelings left distraught

After my trust you promised never to again break it

But instead you chose to forsake it

The overwhelming feeling left me gut wrenched

Pain grabbed my heart and tightly clenched

Tears I refused to shed

Words remain to be left unsaid

My actions turning heartless and cold

Love now on withhold

The relief of you walking away I observe

Knowing the value I deserve

I can no longer accept you as a loved one

Since you can’t be honest, I am officially done

Confusion

2011-08-31T10:23:00.001-05:00

Confusion invades and brings me doubt

Shedding light on everything I am unclear about

Causing me to be indecisive

As well as apprehensive

I want to learn to trust my heart

And finish what I start

Maybe I am more “in love” with being loved

And scared to live life feeling unloved

Still learning how to love and give my all

With confidence to stand tall

Instead of pulling people in, just to run away

Allowing my heart to be easily led astray

Knowing I need to let go

And take things slow

In order to make better decisions

To see beyond my line of vision

Just when I think I am healed

Someone comes from left field

Making my heart skip a beat

Forgiving me for my deceit

But I am still unsure

If I am strong enough to endure

Every time I try to move on

My attention is drawn

For a love that still pulsates my being

While doubts have my heart disagreeing

Not sure which way to turn

To receive the love I yearn

Trying to see clearly through this delusion

And break free from this state of confusion

Hello All! WHY of WHY does his voice STILL make my heart skip a beat? The second I attempt to move you, he is right there...Why does he have such a hold on my heart? That I just cant break free of...

Earthquake + Hurricane/Tropical Storm

2011-08-26T09:48:00.000-05:00

Good Morning All! Things have been quite crazy in MD this week, hince me not posting. First of all Tuesday around 2pm while sitting at my desk the entire building started to shake. Mind you I am in a really old wooden bldg that should be condemed already...Its so bad that there are areas in the hall that we avoid so we wont fall through on a normal...so our building shook way harder than a normal brick building would have. And I have never felt that feeling ever before. We arent used to that on the East Coast at ALL...Almost makes me never want to even travel to Cali. Scared the mess out of me forreal, esp not even knowing what the heck it was. I am still a little shaken but have a poem brewing from that expereince...Still pissed I sat in 3 hours of traffic that day because of people in a panic.

Now, Saturday evening we are looking out for Hurricane Irene that is supposed to gives us a tropical storm and flash floods. So, this has just been a very scary week all together.

I hope that everyone has a great weekend, be safe and blessed!

Eyes Wide Open

2011-08-23T06:54:00.002-05:00

Clarity in my vision

Clear and concise decisions

Knowing exactly what I want and need

From lessons learned, I now heed

Voice of reasoning in my ears

No need to front, everything is as it appears

Taking control of my destiny

My worth has endless density

To your words and actions, I listen

Everything I need to know, is given

Smarter with my choices

Adhering to the inner voices

Recognizing ill intentions from the door

Knowing I deserve more

My future has already been chosen

Eyes wide open

Good Morning All! This is how I am feeling this morning...Tired of the bs...Flipping the page...

Hearts Align

2011-08-22T08:04:00.000-05:00

Your touch absorbed within

Soaked in the depths of my skin

Your kisses make my heart smile

Making each second worthwhile

Your voice calms my mood

My spirit relaxed and subdued

Your hugs are warming and secure

Sublime moments always allure

Your scent awakens my senses

Natural emotion dispenses

Your eyes reflect truth and sincerity

Ensuing doubtless clarity

Feelings felt, I can no longer deny

Your love leaves me high

Your lips form poetry to my ears

While drying my tears

As our hands intertwine

Our hearts perfectly align

Good Monday Morning! I am feeling a lil sexy this morning :)

Through the Fire

2011-08-18T07:51:00.000-05:00

I have been through the fire

Made plans from this earth to expire

I experienced homelessness, rape(s), and molestations

That attempted to crack my foundation

But what my father did hurt worse than any other

I went through two divorces and battled lifelong depression

But in the end, I have learned more than one lesson

I got off track but found my way back

Gaining the strength I lacked

My daughters gave me my motivation

But God’s Word prevented total desolation

And gave me back the fight and faith I required

To survive through the fire

Good Morning All! This one came from the heart...

Moments

2011-08-17T10:15:00.000-05:00

Hold me tight and secure

And with your eyes allure

Your sincerity that is within

And the sexiness in your grin

Smiling from the inside out

Not falling victim to doubt

Enjoying now without expectations

Releasing any limitations

Open and allowing a natural flow

No explanations to owe

Cherishing each moment spent

Comfortably and content

Good Morning All! So many people put too many expectations on things...This reflects just allowing things to happen naturally, and whatever happens...happens...This is something I have had to work on over the years myself...So its a lot more fun just chilling out...and accepting whatever comes...

Heartache

2011-08-16T08:46:00.000-05:00

The yearning and aching

My heart continuously re-breaking

At the thought of my actions

My moment of distraction

Succumbing to weakness

Not appreciating your uniqueness

As the keeper of my heart

I know It’s my fault that we are apart

And that nothing can take back what’s done

But this heartache I can’t seem to outrun

This longing within my soul

That only your love can console

Good Morning ALL! I just recently talked to my ex boyfriend (Navy) and he has been reminding me of how badly I hurt him...Which is so hard to hear...My heart breaks at the thought of him hurting...He is obviously still feeling it...But yet, at the same time he misses me...and cant stop loving me...After I hurt him over and over and over (Which he NEVER deserved) how could he STILL have love for me? Why does he not hate me? I was insecure, and couldnt wait for my Navy man...So this poem reflects the heartache from all that I have done...that I cannot take back...

Irresistible

2011-08-12T13:09:00.000-05:00

Irresistible

Not a moment goes by

That my body doesn't crave

The way our tongues tie

Tasting each second memory saved

Soft kisses on my neck and lips

I cant even pretend to resist

Pure love sips

Drunken passion twisted

Tingling sensation

Floating high

Loves creation

Nothing denied

Everything kissable

Ecstasy irresistible

Hello ALL! I am posting this because maybe I kinda miss this feeling...I am feeling sexy, but dont have the person to feel this way about...But thats totally cool with me! I am enjoying the "now"...There is someone...but I am def taking my time to get to this level...He doesnt even know all the barriers that have to be broken to get to my heart...

Projection

2011-08-11T06:03:00.000-05:00

Projection

Forming a plan to devise

A smooth lateral transition

My strategies I will advise

To accomplish the target mission

My capabilities will go above and beyond

Anything ever expected

Forming lasting relationships as I correspond

Honored to be the one selected

Now it’s my time to shine and uplift

To demonstrate perfection

My decisions will charge each shift

Time to share my ideas and projections

Good Morning All! I tried to write this morning but nothing seemed to form for me...My thoughts are scattered...I am reposting this because this is where my mind is...Focused on what all I have to do...I am posting as a reminder for me to get my focus back...

Releasing

2011-08-10T08:11:00.000-05:00

Releasing my heart

Of anything that doesn’t fit

Into the visions I have planned

Releasing feelings and hurt

To love and accept

The good and bad

Releasing words from my mouth

With only truth and sincerity

No longer biting my tongue

Releasing negativity and drama

Not feeding into nonsense

Because I am a lady in every sense

Releasing anyone who doesn’t deserve

To receive all the love inside me

I am worthy of cherishing

Releasing to set free

All that is not for me

Weights lifted, rejoicing in release

Good Morning All! This is sort of a rant...Last night I did some releasing...I honestly told him the details of me moving on, eventhough it hurt him to the core...I had to be straight up, because there was nothing he could say or do to make my feelings towards him change...Now I feel like a dead weight has been lifted off of my chest and out of my life...Now I am looking toward a bright future...Heading back in the direction I am destine for...

Love Lost

2011-08-08T07:25:00.001-05:00

After your deception I am unable to trust

My heart is not forgiving of the unjust
My barriers have now been raised

And any effort to repair goes unfazed

Once those lines have been crossed

I can’t regain what has been lost

Anything else now will be time wasted

Love can never again be tasted

Good Morning All! I wrote this just to post on facebook to let someone know just how I feel lol...I give a fair chance...I tried to show with my actions but he still isnt getting the hint...I have already moved on ;) and no longer chose to pretend...

Reminisce

2011-08-04T07:16:00.003-05:00

With closed eyes my visions are clear

Almost like a dream he appears

Holding me tight and whispering in my ear

Truths in his eyes give me comfort that he is sincere

Hesitations and doubt quickly dismiss

Feeling the passion with each kiss

Creating the depth of an oceanic abyss

On times yet to be shared in my mind I reminisce

Good Morning All! I had no idea what to write until a text gave me this inspiration :)

PS: Anyone who has a blog that I have to log into, I am unable to comment. But this doesnt mean that I am not reading...Do people really get that much spam on here that they need someone to log in just to comment :(

Curiosity

2011-08-03T06:47:00.000-05:00

I must admit I am intrigued to know more

Than the exterior décor

Physical attraction initially caught our attention

Curious to discover each level of your dimension

Enjoying the current conversation exchange

Looking forward to plans being arranged

And time spent getting to know

How deep our friendship is able to go

Feeling vibes brought by mutual sensuosity

I am intrigued with strong curiosity

Good Morning All! This write was a little forced today. It is how I am feeling right at this very moment about a certain someone...But since there arent really many feelings attached in the begining of getting to know a person, it was hard for me to relay the vibes that are flowing within me. I dont want to make any assumptions about anyone or even get hopes up. I like to take my time and enjoy day by day and whatever happens, happens naturally...

Despite

2011-08-02T10:34:00.001-05:00

We rise up just to fall back down

Daily trying our best not to drown

Having that one that’s by your side

Holding you tight through this roller coaster ride

When life knocks you from every angle thought of

Providing strength and joy only given through His love

Makes every second of every day worth the fight

Finding true peace and happiness despite

Good Morning All! I just wanted to remind everyone, that despite it ALL...He will carry you when you cannot walk...I wanted to do a sensual, sexy piece today because that is kinda how I am feeling...But these words spilled through my pen...So an inspirational day it is :) enjoy!

Ok, I did a quick name change of this blog...I got tired of "Inside Jstar's Head" because its not technically true...My words are not even a thought...They flow directly from my heart onto paper...With no reason or rhyme at times...or even understanding...So until I come up with something catchy...Poetically Jstar it is :)

Passion

2011-08-01T10:43:00.003-05:00

Your kisses melt me into a liquidation form

To your body I conform

Our hearts beating in sync

From lustful passion we drink

Ok, I know this is really short...but its kinda all I wanted to say...You know that kiss, that words just cant describe...This is what I am talkin about...

Healed

2011-07-29T08:22:00.001-05:00

Hollowed heart and dented frame

Buried deep, love remnants remain

Echoes of repeated mistakes

Mind no longer aches

Inner peace and joy refill

With God’s will

Truth no longer concealed

Once broken, now healed

Short and sweet...Its shows an overcoming of the darkness within that so many people deal with...Giving testimony that this CAN be overcome and inner peace and joy ARE possible within HIS WILL!!!

I Still...

2011-07-27T05:52:00.004-05:00

I still taste his love within my soul

I still feel his touch on my skin

I still crave his kisses on my neck

I still feel his arms around me

I still smell his scent with every breath

I still hear his voice whispering in my ear

I still envision him in my future

I still dream of him like he never left

I still remember every moment with him

I still love him with everything in me

I still know we could never again be

I still miss him

Good Morning All! Ok now, here is a lil somethin somethin...Still not sure who was really my muse for this one but these words came to my while driving to work...Maybe someone is missing someone and needed to hear these words...But we all do have that one that got away and still think of time to time...

Gone Too Long

2011-07-21T13:39:00.000-05:00

I know I have been gone too long

But so much has been going on

I haven’t had a free moment to sit and write

Thousands of words are floating in my head despite

Unable to release

Can’t wait until this chaos cease’s

Not that any of it has been bad

Or any reasons to be sad

It’s just this thing called life getting in the way

Blocking the words I am dying to say

I promise, soon I will again write from my heart

And never again from you depart

Hello All! I sincerely applogize for being away wayyyy toooo long. I have been VERRRRRYYY busy at work finishing up this project. And also dealing with the worst toothache/migrane in the WORLD...Its FINALLY been taken care of and I am still living despite lol...This was a quick two minute poem to express my sorrow for not being able to write lately....This will soon change :) Keep looking out!

Happy 15th Birthday Erika

2011-07-03T18:58:00.001-05:00

Happy 15th Birthday to my Munchkin Erika!

Commenting Issues

2011-07-01T15:09:00.001-05:00

Is anyone else having issues commenting on certain blogs? I tried on several computers and it keeps making sign in then after I do it brings me back to the log in screen :(

Reminiscing

2011-06-29T18:13:00.000-05:00

I remember

The first moment I felt you growing in my stomach

When I first laid eyes on your beautiful face

I still remember the first time you smiled

You learning how to hold your bottle

As well as crawling and then walking

I remember

The silly games we would play

The singing and dancing

And making crazy faces

Playing dress up and tea time

But hide and go seek was your favorite

I remember

Your first day of Kindergarten

And you forgetting to get off the school bus

The first picture you drew me of those spiders

All of your artwork I still have to enjoy your growth

The field trips to the pumpkin farm

I remember

Preparing you for your eight grade dance

And your transition to high school

Homecomings and track meets

Your first boyfriend and breakup

Now your first love and senior prom shopping

Now

You have graduated high school

And heading off to college

You have just turned eighteen

And learning how to drive

Making me proud to be your mother

I wish

Nothing but the best for you

Although life is far from easy

You are a smart and strong young beautiful woman

And have the world right in front of you to enjoy to the fullest

Just know I will always be here for you, no matter what

Hello All! Today is my oldest daughters 18th birthday and I wrote this for her today...

Eye Gazing

2011-06-24T10:03:00.005-05:00

Eyes deeply gazing, glossing and glowing
Sparking a green and brown combination
Peeking through my lashes
Clearly displaying the love pouring out of my heart and soul
My smile is relaxed yet sincere
Feeling secure and safe releasing my heart to you
Comforted by the support of your lap beneath my head
Facially expressing a woman happily in love

This poem was attempting to reflect the look in my eyes and how I was feeling at that particular moment in time.

Testing

2011-06-24T05:58:00.001-05:00

I am testing out this new blogger ap from my android :) this wil make me not have any exuse to neglect my blog! I haven't been able to put together a whole poem lately but have posted random thoughts on my facebook. I will have to change that really soon

Two Becoming One

2011-06-16T06:51:00.001-05:00

Butterflies fluttering, tickling within

Chill bumps forming

Feathering across my skin

Forehead kisses trailing

Along my neck to the smalls of my back

Anticipation unveiling

Closed eyes, colors fading to black

Feeding off of senses

Sensuality liquidating

Whispers of tongues dispense

Ecstasy naturally sedating

Emotions intertwine

Timeless seconds sung

Love redefined

Two becoming one

Good Morning! This is my attempt to capture the beauty of love making...tastefully...

Loved

2011-06-15T07:22:00.002-05:00

Your love is like a breath of fresh air

Making my senses alert and aware

In love with the way you love me

And rest assure my hearts plea

Healing my past pains

Finding that love inside that still remains

Teaching me how to let go and allow love in

Kissing my tear drops that flow within

My doubts and insecurities slowly disappearing

Heartache no longer fearing

Commitment standing above

Regardless, I will be loved

The last line is from Maroon 5, She Will Be Loved-One of my fav songs...I think its my favorite because I have desired to be loved for so long that I almost thought it wasnt possible...

CONGRATS Tanaesha!

2011-06-09T05:49:00.001-05:00

Congrats to my babigirl for graduating High School yesterday :) I am so proud of her! I know I have to let her grow into the woman she is fastly becoming. Letting go and allowing her to make her own mistakes is the hardest of all! But I will ALWAYS be there for her to guide her on her journey! CONGRATS Tanaesha Lashaye Leak! Enjoy the best life has to offer!

PS: I have been having issues with blogger on commenting on a lot of my fav blogs, but I do want you to know that I am reading...Even if I am unable to comment...

Fairytales

2011-06-07T07:17:00.001-05:00

Fairytales do not truly exist
Although sleeping beauty is awaiting to be kissed
Prince Charming will indeed disappoint
Hopes and dreams will of course disjoint
But that’s the realities of life
Take comfort in promises of the afterlife
There is happiness that can only be found within
Don’t allow the issues of the world to get under your skin
God can release your burdens and take all your pain
As well as give you the strength to sustain
This God-given joy cannot be taken unless you allow
Enjoy the here and now
And everything else will fall in its rightful place
Once you love you and give God control
You will feel peace in your soul
Remain smiling when your train derails
Knowing life is never a fairytale

Grateful

2011-06-03T06:56:00.003-05:00

I am grateful for my struggles because they have made me stronger
Even if that means I have to struggle a little longer

I am grateful because I have made it this far even if my steps are gradual
My goals I keep up front and center in my visual

I am grateful for all of my pain and heartaches because they have made me wiser
I now seek God for guidance as my only advisor

I am grateful for my tears and depression because they have made me thankful
And appreciative of the peace in my heart that has made me truly joyful

I am grateful for the love my daughters have shown
And my downfalls are lessons learned for not me alone

I am grateful for Gods continuous mercy and grace
Even when my actions were displaced

I am grateful for each and every blessing I have been given
And that my sins with prayer are forgiven

I am grateful for each day I awake
Having another chance to correct my mistakes

Good Morning All! This was inspired by todays inspirational morning message from Steve Harvey this morning. Its a reminder to me that no matter what, I have reasons to be grateful...From the good to the bad...Because in the end, everything has a purpose....In that pains and hurt, we need to look harder to find the true blessing...

Distant Mind

2011-06-01T06:19:00.001-05:00

Loved ones seem so distant

Their love is being so resistant

They don’t even know

Because my sacrifices haven’t shown

Their voices seem so far away

Their hearts led astray

But I am still pushing on

Even if they notice me withdrawn

Mind racing in constant thought

My battles have already been fought

Focused on my goals

Worrying about only that I can control

Good Morning All! I wrote this one about my teenagers and that teenage-know-it-all attitude...I love my girls...but this is the time they start pushing away...I am there, as always...but allowing them to feel themselves for the moment...

Echoes

2011-05-25T07:00:00.000-05:00

Echoes

Your voice in my ear echoes

Loud and clear, sending chills

Exploding like a volcano

Firing lava distills

From the after affects,

Never again the same

Energy redirected

Senses inflame

Lust reaching heights

Never before known

Inner fire ignites

Adding volume to each tone

Bliss in each breath taken

Tasting each kiss

Sensitivity awakened

Echoes drifting into our abyss

Good Morning All! This is a fresh one...I hope you enjoy :)

Serenity

2011-05-20T07:06:00.000-05:00

Serenity

Our magnetism is electrifying

Your kisses are hypnotizing

The warmth of assurance

Motivational endurance

Everlasting passion

Lingering scents of jasmine

Breathless sounds uttering

Leaving hearts fluttering

Flying above and beyond

Bodies instinctively respond

Oceans flowing deep

Desires are ours to keep

Giving emotions density

With a breath of serenity

Good Morning All! I am attempting to discipline myself to write. At times I get too caught up with life to even allow myself to let go and release all the feelings locked inside with my pen...I hope you enjoyed todays release :)

PS: Isnt that an amazing picture! and its my favorite color :) I just couldnt resist...

Fight

2011-05-19T06:52:00.001-05:00

Fight

Inside I feel depression forming

A constant mourning

Disappointment that things aren’t going as planned

Feeling weaker as I stand

Like my legs are about to give

Suffering being relived

As I take steps ahead

I begin to lose my tread

And fall further back

With my face being smacked

Tired of struggling

Day to day juggling

Just to get by

Blessings seem to be on standby

I suppose this is a lesson to gain strength

But how long is this ropes length

I am ready for a break

So sick of this heartache

Stress and worry are weighing me down

Getting harder not to frown

These feelings I want to overwrite

Not sure if I have the energy to continue this fight

Good Morning All! I have actually been pretty good lately...But yesterday things just got a little crazy..If it isnt one thing, its another...I am just soooo tired...and today it shows in my mood and in my face...I had to force myself to write and this was the way I felt so it carried over into this poem...I do have happier things to write about...I am just not feeling any of that at this particular moment...

MIA

2011-05-18T12:40:00.000-05:00

I so applogize for being MIA recently. I havent even had a chance to breath much less release my feelings into any type of form. My oldest daughter had her senior prom and getting ready for graduation. And now my youngest is getting ready for her 8th grade prom and middle school graduation...Not to mention work keeps me very busy lately. But all in all, good things are happening. I have started seeing someone :) and that is going great...

Well I have to run now...but I will leave with a few pics...of my babies prom and my new hair cut and color :)

Vengeance

2011-05-02T07:38:00.002-05:00

Vengeance

There is no justice in death by taking one’s life with your hands

Taking responsibility with what you think are His plans

It’s not our right or place to judge

For our own personal grudge

Vengeance is an act of hate

Where is your morality rate

Two wrongs don’t make it right

We are responsible for death despite

Who started the nonsense

All in the name of defense

In the end its still murder that’s unjust

Doing what we think is a must

At what cost

Lives are still lost

Good Morning All! Am I the only person not celebrating the murder? Is it our right to judge or take life from another? Regardless if you have a uniform or badge...In the end you will still have to answer to God...Murder is murder...To me, two wrongs don't make a right...Our hands are now filled with blood...ever since this war started...This war is not even possible to win...So now we await their promises of more death and destruction...so what we can retaliate again...When does is end??? I foresee the world wars mentioned in "Revelations" coming to pass...

Exhaustion

2011-04-26T06:23:00.000-05:00

Exhausted physically
And drained mentally

But I still have fight left in me
Displaying my smile for all to see

I have business to administrate
Plans and goals to create

Figuring out what’s next to begin
Not allowing exhaustion to set in

Thank You-Prayer

2011-04-22T07:45:00.001-05:00

Thank You-Prayer

Thank you Lord for continously blessing our lives

Thank you for opening our eyes

To your promises and guarantees

Thank you for putting our troubles and worries at ease

Please give us strength to bear adversities

Fill us with the Word that accompanies

Your love and grace

Our hunger for your knowledge embraced

Thirst for your spirit overcomes

Guiding us to being the best we can become

Teaching us your Word as it empowers

Your glory and love continuously showers

Cleansing away our sins

Continue to walk with us as our journey begins

Help us overcome the devils constant attack

Fill us with the confidence we currently lack

Thank you again Lord for always having our back

Thank you for keeping our lives on track

Even when we thought we didnt have the strength to continue

Thank you for your love that always renews

Thank you Lord, Thank you

In Jesus name Amen

Good Morning All! Since it is Good Friday, I thought this would be fitting to repost...I just want to thank Jesus for his sacrafice so that we could be free! I hope everyone has a safe and blessed holiday!

Memories

2011-04-21T05:52:00.003-05:00

Memories

Mind drifting to places unknown

Sighs float in the wind like a whisper

Smelling the fragrance of his cologne

Images are bright and getting crisper

Seconds and hours disappear

Time lost does not return

The past seems far but near

Feelings capture and do not adjourn

Moments embraced as the clock ticks

Words no longer able to say

Broken promises remain unfixed

Memories constantly replay

Good Morning All! Not quite sure where this one came from...Not really missing any one particular person...Maybe missing that feeling of love...Theses words to came to me and spilled onto the paper...It wasnt on my mind consciously...But it flowed directly from my heart...

Why

2011-04-20T06:03:00.002-05:00

Why

Why do I run from what I want most

Always dodging chances at love

The ability to release all that’s locked in my heart

That one to share life experiences with

That someone to hold me at night

Instead I sleep alone

Dealing with loneliness each day

Feeling incomplete

Missing companionship

Yearning to love

Scared of being hurt

Or wasting time when it doesn’t work

Not wanting to be disappointed

Expecting one who is perfect

Knowing that’s not reality

I need to allow love in

Stop reflecting on what may never happen

Take a chance that I may not regret

Learn how to feel again

And no longer ask myself why

Spaces

2011-04-14T05:39:00.004-05:00

Spaces

Spaces in between and out of time

Lost in thoughts absorbing the mind

Spaces where hours seem long

When you're tired of singing the same song

Spaces where words have no meaning

While each letter is hurtfully screaming

Spaces with no one to fill

Like your moving when you're lying still

Spaces where nothing matters

Talking tends to sound like chatter

Spaces that are crowded but empty

As is treatment with no remedy

Spaces that are deep and dark

Adding no fire to the spark

Spaces with endless faces

Depression provoked mind erases

Projection

2011-04-07T06:12:00.001-05:00

Projection

Forming a plan to devise

A smooth lateral transition

My strategies I will advise

To accomplish the target mission

My capabilities will go above and beyond

Anything ever expected

Forming lasting relationships as I correspond

Honored to be the one selected

Now it’s my time to shine and uplift

To demonstrate perfection

My decisions will charge each shift

Time to share my ideas and projections

Too Late

2011-04-06T05:54:00.002-05:00

Too Late

Where were you when I really needed you

When I wasn’t sure what to do

I needed your kisses to comfort me

To be my referee

When war on me was being waged

To hold me tight when my spirit was enraged

To have my back when times were hard

Help me be more on guard

But these things I handled on my own

Strength to fight battles all alone

So, what do I need you for now

When discomfort you allowed

You haven’t showed me that you were on my side

Weren’t the one I could confide

You’re not worthy to be my mate

No room to step in now, you’re a little too late

Dissapointed

2011-04-05T05:54:00.002-05:00

Image from sansaare.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html

Disappointed

I am disappointed with myself, maybe I expect perfection

I choked in a moment of recollection

In the most important time, I was supposed to outshine

My true skills I needed to cosign

I was supposed to demonstrate my leadership

And prove I was well equipped

In which I am very much capable

And more than able

I just know could have done more

So upset at myself I wanted to fall out on the floor

And scream to the top of my lungs

I felt my story went unsung

But I can’t take back yesterday

Its only torture when I constantly replay

What I could have or should have said or done

My insecurities I need to outrun

And leave them where they belong

There was so much at stake; I have been in need for so long

All I can do is leave it in God’s hands

And be confident in His plans

Knowing He will provide my needs

And His will always supersedes

Grind

2011-04-04T07:41:00.004-05:00

Life is moving so fast, I am trying to keep up

Looking through a magnified glass, close-up

Not allowing anything to pass me by

My goals are reaching the sky

Although life is moving at a fast pace

Each second I embrace

Plans consuming my mind

Constantly on my grind

Love is Mine

2011-04-02T21:53:00.004-05:00

Soaring above the mountains

Deeper than the ocean

Brighter than color

Louder than sound

Yet as calm as the waves

Rippling in my heart

My love is real and untainted

And is unconditionally given

To the one who is worthy

Of the great honor

To be called mine

Change

2011-04-01T12:43:00.002-05:00

Change

My life is going through a major change

Focus and priorities are being rearranged

Personally and professionally revamping majorly

In His wisdom I feed savorly

Praising God for these blessings coming my way

Learning the values of obedience each day

Strong enough to withstand the devils attacks

My faith wont allow me to feel the impact

Instead I relish in His peace

Knowing all the fires will soon cease

Confident that everything will work out

And I will remain standing throughout

My highest honor is serving

After all my struggles in this change I feel deserving

Freeing Darkness

2011-03-31T06:10:00.002-05:00

Freeing Darkness

Tasting the salt of the rain

Caused by past pains

Crippling and unable to move on

Wishing the hurt was gone

Cycles continuously repeating

Energy depleting

Tired of the nightmares awakening

Scars further deepening

Unable to trust another

Not able to open up to any other

Secluded and suffering with images

From love and feelings completely distances

Tried every other avenue

But further soul destruction ensued

Until I knelt on bended knee

And asked Him to part my Red Sea

To escape my hell on earth

He led me out of darkness to a rebirth

Freeing my heart and soul

My inner bleeding healed and consoled

Giving me testimonies to recite

Carrying me out of darkness into His light

Never Enough

2011-03-30T05:51:00.001-05:00

Never Enough

The sound of your voice makes my heart skip a beat

Like a broken record on repeat

Love no longer denies

Kissing you with closed eyes

Feeling your arms surrounding

In rhythmic sync our hearts pounding

True love escaping our pores

Never enough, always craving more

Stronger

2011-03-29T06:23:00.001-05:00

Stronger

From lessons learned I have grown

Dodged each stone thrown

Totally loving me for me

And being the best and all that I can be

Striving for even higher stakes

No matter what it takes

Or what has to be further endured

Through each mistake I have matured

Escaping stress with peace

With my pen I release

Nothing or no one can hold me back

Staying focused and right on track

Loving even enemies with my whole heart

While nonsense departs

Respect I always demand

And stronger I stand

His Answer

2011-03-28T05:52:00.000-05:00

His Answer

I have so many things going and don’t know which way to turn

Making the right decision is my main concern

Which doors need to be opened and which ones needs to be closed

I pray for my eyes to see all that is being disclosed

In seclusion I spend my time awaiting the correct answer

Where proper decisions will lead my life to an enhancer

This time is teaching me the values of patience

Showing me where my life needs maintenance

As I prepare my life toward His will

My soul He continuously refills

Giving me what I need to maintain

Knowledge through His Word, I ascertain

Giving me inner peace and confidence

Knowing behind each of my actions there is a consequence

Not falling trap to the chaos that surrounds me

In all the answers I seek, resting assure in His guarantee

Good Morning All! I just finished this poem a few mins ago. I am slowly working my way back into my writing grove. This poem above I think is the reason I went unable to write for so long. Having soo much on my mind, not wanting to speak until I got peace with all that is on my plate. People are coming at me left and right, to the point I don't know which way to turn. I have spent a lot of time alone with my thoughts. Although I still have no resolution, I am learning to be patient and await His guidance. Allowing things to work out on their own, as hard as that truly is. I hope that you get peace and patience from this poem, just as I did!

Waiting

2011-03-25T06:51:00.001-05:00

Waiting

Heartbroken because I can’t be with you now

My whole heart is yours, I vow

There is no other I desire

It’s only your love I require

Missing times shared

Nothing else can even compare

To the love we hold for one another

In that trueness I find cover

Each second without you my heart aches

But no matter how long it takes

No matter what we have endured

Let your doubt be assured

My love for you I am restating

I will be here waiting

Rushed

2011-03-22T05:57:00.001-05:00

Rushed

Too busy rushing around to even think

Not allowing true feelings to sink

Just going through life’s motions

Caught up in all the commotion

Trying to stay focused

Displaying a lack of emotion went unnoticed

Pulling back wasn’t planned

My time is precious and under demand

It’s nothing you have said or done

Not really up to a rerun

My life is heading in the opposite direction

My heart is elsewhere, please accept my confession

There are feelings residing within

Of a love that pouring out through my skin

It’s always been there hidden and denied

These feelings just won’t subside

I can no longer run or ignore

This love seeping through my pores

Listening to feelings felt my heart is pleading

No longer wanting to deny by continuously rushing past true feelings

Good Morning All! FINALLY a fresh one....If you can see, I kinda been going through an inner struggle. These feelings are true to life :) But it may be a good thing -hint hint-

Thank You-Prayer

2011-03-14T06:30:00.001-05:00

Thank you Lord for continously blessing our lives
Thank you for opening our eyes
To your promises and guarantees
Thank you for putting our troubles and worries at ease
Please give us strength to bear adversities
Fill us with the Word that accompanies
Your love and grace
Our hunger for your knowledge embraced
Thirst for your spirit overcomes
Guiding us to being the best we can become
Teaching us your Word as it empowers
Your glory and love continuously showers
Cleansing away our sins
Continue to walk with us as our journey begins
Help us overcome the devils constant attack
Fill us with the confidence we currently lack
Thank you again Lord for always having our back
Thank you for keeping our lives on track
Even when we thought we didnt have the strength to continue
Thank you for your love that always renews
Thank you Lord, Thank you
In Jesus name Amen

Good Morning All! this is a repost but I thought this had to be said today. I have a lot to be thankful for! I went on an interview last week for a promotion at my job, I am thanking God in advance and speaking it into exsistence! God KNOWS I need this! My baby is getting ready to go to college in the fall! And this would be a very nice pay increase, the most money than I have ever made as of yet. I hope everyone is doing well!

Tasteless

2011-03-02T05:33:00.000-06:00

Tasteless

My mouth is dry but I cannot quench my thirst

In a pool of thoughtlessness I am immersed

The world is going on around me

My inner screams are dying to be free

But I choose to remain allusive

Leaving my love and feelings for my own exclusive

Insecurities and heart entwined

Raging their own wars in my mind

Not allowing the other to win

And the other not willing to ever give in

Lost hopes and dreams

Are causing two extremes

Emotions remain unfazed

Inside my eternal love is about to set a blaze

But the one that deserves it has not revealed his face

So until he shows himself, I have removed my taste

Good Morning All! Yes, a repost. I started my second Discipleship class at church and that takes up my evenings. I hope everyone is doing well. Not sure what is wrong with me, been kinda in my own daze...Not in a funk at all, just a lot of planning on my mind. I disnt realize until someone pointed out that I was being very distant, it wasnt intentional at all.

Rainbow

2011-03-01T07:37:00.000-06:00

Rainbow

Life continuously throws us down bumpy roads

Pain takes over and implodes

We make mistakes over and over again

But we have to know when to say when

Learn how to overcome

Not allowing ourselves to succumb

To drama and dismay

Never being led astray

Once the rain clears

The beautiful rainbow appears

Note: This poem was inspired by my daughter Tanaesha, she came up with "No Rain, No Rainbow" This poem is to explain her phrase's purpose...

Good Morning All! Yes, another repost...But it is a postive one...There IS a light at the end of the rainbow....Grab your pot of gold....

Excuses

2011-02-25T05:27:00.001-06:00

Excuses

Why do we make excuses for why we can't obey

This is when our hearts are led astray

Falling into evil temptations

Ignoring His expectations

Then blame Him for not progressing

Instead of on our knees confessing

Wondering why our problems are not being alleviated

But the route He mapped we deviated

We go to church and hear the Word

But don't truthfully understand what we heard

We take what we want to hear

But our efforts are not sincere

How can you love Him with half of our heart

Without learning His Word that He is attempting to impart

Build a true relationship with Him

Allowing Him to be the only one you depend

He will give you the strength to make it through

Your spirit He will renew

You will be able to feel His presence within

And allow your walk with Him to truly begin

Exodus 3:10-12 NIV
10-"...So now, go I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."
11-But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?
12-And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you..."

Exodus 4:1 NIV
1-Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'The Lord did not appear to you'?"

Exodus 4:11-13 NIV
11-The Lord said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord?
12-Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."
13-But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."

See how Moses made exuses to not obey God's instructions!!!! We doubt ourselves or dont want to stand up in His name, we are ashamed and deny him....Just as Peter denied Him after Jesus was arrested prior to Him being crucified, Peter denied Him three times...

John 18:17-18 NIV
17-"You are not one of his disciples, are you?" the girl at the door asked Peter. He replied, "I am not."
18-It was cold, and the servants and officials stood around a fire they had made to keep warm. Peter also standing with them, warming himself.

Making exuses is basically denying God, in His eyes...Yes, we are sinners...and are not perfect, but God knows whats in our hearts and he knows if we are truly trying to please Him...Dont make exuses...Just do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Morning All! I am reposting this for a reason today. I forgot and missed my first DiscipleshipII class. I fell into temptation. I had a long day at work and went home and had a couple of glasses of wine. When my teacher called, I could have went if I hadnt drank the wine. I felt bad beyond measure. It made me think...If I hadnt missed church on Sunday, I may have remembered. So now, all I can do is ask Him forgiveness and not allow anything else to come in between my classes and the bonding with Him! I WILL do my homework, and be in class next week! No excuses...

I hope that everyone has a great weekend!

I Still Want You...

2011-02-24T06:06:00.000-06:00

I Still Want You

I want you to kiss me passionately like you used to

I want to see you smile again when I am in your view

I want to feel the passion we once knew

I want to forget the troubles we have been through

I want sleepless nights next to you

I want our love to feel brand new

I want ecstasy to the fullest pursued

I want to feel safe to subdue

I want you to completely hold me within you

Feeling your love inside is long overdue

I want our love’s strength to always anew

Baby I still love and want only you…

Good Morning All! Another repost, sorry....This is am old one and the person I wrote this for crossed my mind...I hope everyone is doing well!

Artistic

2011-02-22T17:37:00.000-06:00

Artistic

Artist of words
Creating images

Of my life stories
With pen and paper

Spilling my heart
In all shades

Onto my easel
Broadening horizons

Painting lessons learned
With rhyme and reason

Tantalizing word play
In the artistic form of poetry

Hello All. Sorry for yet again another report...I am posting this for some inspiration...I am doing well, very well right now. I just cant lock in a topic. I am so in need of a muse....Now that I have a laptop and able to access the internet, I still cant write...Its frustrating, I have started a few things....But I have been working on the novel I started years ago...But thats easy because its all based on facts....

I hope that everyone is doing well!

His Light

2011-02-18T05:35:00.001-06:00

His Light

When the clouds are too thick to see the light

Keep your goals in sight

Be prepared to trip and fall for your vision is not yet clear

Find that strength to persevere

No matter what road blocks are in the way

In the good and the bad, dont forget to kneel before Him and pray

Be thankful for where life has brought you thus far

Even when the lessons learned leave scars

Stop making wishes over a four leaf clover

For it aint over, until God says its over

He will provide all that you require

And not always everything you desire

Have faith that it will all work out in the end

Just the way He intends

Allow His love in your heart to reside

His light is our constant guide

Good Morning All! Sorry for reposting yet again...But since I havent written anything fresh, this poem spoke to me today. I went through a rough patch recently, and He worked things out above and beyond, as always. So right now I am so grateful and praising His name!

I just got a mini laptop, so I can do some writing on. I started editing one of my novels I havent touched in years last night. Since we have a three day weekend, I promise to have some fresh poetry to post next week. My mental state is in a place now, where I can release. I am unable to write when I am going through the situation, I usualy write about it after, as a closure thing for me....I am ready to do so now....

Kiss

2011-02-15T05:51:00.000-06:00

Kiss

Kiss me like you never have before

My reservations and hesitations totally ignore

I know I haven’t allowed myself to completely let go

Allowing emotions to reach its plateau

I have been scared to give in

Terrified to truly begin

Kissing you takes things to a new height

Setting a blaze my fears to ignite

Trusting you entirely

Releasing to you my heart in its entirety

Unleashing feelings never felt

While insecurities continue to melt

Demonstrate without words but with actions

Not allowing for any distractions

Feeling again that pure love actually exists

All of these feelings set free just by your loving kiss

Good Morning All! Since some of us are still in a "lovey dovey" mood, I figured this poem was appropriate. Although I didn't even get a kiss for Valentines Day...I wrote this poem because I have always had issues with kissing because its so much more for me and I don't kiss everyone...I think I am getting over that...This is a repost, I still haven't been able to write...I think its just that soooo much is going on right now that I haven't had time to even put a thought together...I know I have been missing in action but I will be back regularly very soon....

What's Love-Happy Valentines Day!

2011-02-14T08:26:00.000-06:00

What's Love

Really, truthfully

Two hearts connected as one,

Loving each other endlessly

Accepting each other’s faults

Showing the other unconditional true love

Without expecting anything in return

Supporting one another in everything

No matter the consequence

Agreeing to disagree, communication strengthens

But we are afraid of getting hurt

Lied to, betrayed, or cheated on

Mentally or physically

We are scared to completely let go and wholeheartedly love

My problem is that I don’t know how to love if it’s not completely

Giving my all

I don’t know how to love partially

What’s the point

If it’s not REALLY LOVE…

Good Morning! I hope that everyone has a great and loving Valentines Day! I have no special plans, other than spending the evening with my daughters. This poem is a repost, I have started poems lately but still not too motivated to write...

God is GOOD...ALL the time

2011-02-09T06:12:00.000-06:00

Hello ALL! I know I have been missing in action lately....A lot has been going on with me, but it is ALL working out just the way its supposed to...Opening doors I didnt know was even possible...I am posting today to remind everyone that God is GOOD ALL the time!!! Be thankful of WHATEVER situation you are in....Praise His name...He WILL see you through...whatever situation...Dont allow people, this world and situations to get in the way of YOUR God given joy!

I hope that everyone has a blessed day today! I promise to write really really soon!

Imperfections

2011-01-25T07:17:00.003-06:00

Tired of constantly stressing

So with my pen I am confessing

My sins and wrong turns

Praying for guidance to return

Allowing life to take my joy

Disconnection notices starting to annoy

Causing disruption within my spirit

Pain so overwhelming trying not to feel it

Knowing He IS going to work it out

In that having no doubt

Just tired of struggling

Daily juggling

Amongst this madness

I must push through this sadness

And give my stresses to Him

The only one I can always depend

To carry me through any storm

Putting my life in His hands to transform

Realizing stressing was useless

Making my efforts fruitless

Refocusing my direction

Accepting life’s imperfections

Muse-less

2011-01-24T08:48:00.000-06:00

Good Morning All! I hope that everyone had a great weekend! I am currently slightly stressed and I think that this is why I am having so much trouble finding my muse. Its usually easier for me to write about something after I have gone through it....The things going on, I am confident that things will work out. I guess you could say that I am more frustrated than anything and that is messing up my flow right now. I am trying to get myself back on track....

Checking In

2011-01-20T07:11:00.000-06:00

Hello All! I hpe that things are going good for everyone. I am sorry that I havent posted anything new lately. Still having issues getting my computer at work...Long story...

Plus I havent been motivated to write anything new....I honestly havent even tried...I will have to pull it together by this weekend...

Desire

2011-01-04T08:55:00.001-06:00

Desire

Desires invade

Minds concentration

Distort thoughts

Configuring manifestations

Replacing ambitions

Caught in the moment

Criteria dissipated

Lighting desire

Tantalizing frustrations

Inviting tensions

Settling for less

Less deserved

Passing blessings

Succumbing to

Controlling desires

Freed

2010-12-30T06:09:00.003-06:00

You tried to take me, my soul
Until I learned to gain control
You hurt me in ways I couldn’t let go
Locking my pain inside so no one would know
Desperately wanting my father’s love
Realizing my Father is the man above
Looking for love in the wrong places
Pushing past the hurt of many different faces
Made mistakes I can’t take back
Now focused on getting my life on track
Releasing the flash backs and nightmares
That haunted when no one cared
Finding and truly loving me
All that pain and hurt finally freed

Aim

2010-12-28T16:12:00.001-06:00

Drips dropping slowly

Forming a knowing

Of obstacles and triumphs

In my throat formed a lump

Knowing what to do

Confidence seeping through

Finding my way in this place called life

Made amends with all this so called strife

Letting go of inhibitions

Making better decisions

My life I reclaim

To higher heights I aim

Deceit

2010-12-16T06:02:00.003-06:00

Deceit

Not falling for your lies

Revealing your disguise

Elated I didn’t release my heart to you

Bigger and better opportunities I pursue

I deserve more respect than you have given

But all is forgiven

Because it’s not my place to judge

It’s not even worth me holding a grudge

I am not that same person anymore

No longer making the same mistakes as before

The difference is that I love and respect me now

Demanding what I deserve, I vow

Not wasting time in sorrow

Looking forward to a brighter tomorrow

Not even worthy of shedding a tear

When I know my heart is sincere

No longer giving to the undeserved

Especially when it’s unearned

No longer serving a purpose, cutting off all ties

Seeing truth beyond blatant falsies and deceit

Double Crossed

2010-12-15T07:17:00.001-06:00

Double Crossed

You were the one I thought I’d spend my life with

But our “happily ever after” was a myth

I thought I knew you, everything about you

But your lies have been seen through

It hurts because above all else you were my best friend

That one person I could always depend

Now our friendship must cease

Leaving my broken heart in one piece

But at least now I know the truth

And am sure of what’s it’s my view

Now it’s time to let go and move on

My love is now withdrawn

Because you were never worthy of me

Not worthy to be the trustee

Of my heart and all that entails

And all of that would have unveiled

I guess it’s just you’re loss

With your plans to double cross

Stolen Kisses

2010-12-14T07:09:00.002-06:00

Stolen Kisses

We see each other in passing routinely

Sneaking a peak here and there

So very discreetly

Words unspoken in midair

When the elevator doors closed

He reached in and kissed my lips

Tongues danced like they were composed

With eyes closed like an eclipse

Tensions mounted as my heart skipped a beat

Not wanting it to end

As the doors opened we tried to play discreet

But inside we couldn’t pretend

This was not long awaited

The longing could not dismiss

Lips left much elated

Until the next time of stolen kisses

Warmth

2010-12-13T06:28:00.003-06:00

Warmth

Snowflakes decorating the sky
Winter chills brisk bite
Loneliness hard to deny
That person holding me through the night
Loving me to no end
Body heat rising
Fluids mixing to the perfect blend
Positions continuously revising
Defining ecstasy with chemistry untamed
Arising eruptions unable to conceal
Heart lustfully inflamed
My dreams so alive, almost surreal

Intrigued

2010-12-10T06:21:00.002-06:00

Dali Salvador

Intrigued by the depths of you

Got me wondering if I should pursue

Curiosity is getting the best of me

Putting myself out there with no guarantee

I am feeling your sexy style

Hopeful you are worthwhile

Not looking for anything serious

Loving the mysterious

Wanting to know what it takes to make you smile

Levels of you trying to compile

Piecing together the real you

Asking myself if you are true

I have enjoyed time spent

Curious of your intent

Time will only tell

If things will excel or we say our farewells

Actions speak louder than words could ever

Hoping we are successful in our endeavor

Eager to see if you can take my breathe and leave me fatigue

You have me very intrigued…

Vibe

2010-12-09T05:21:00.001-06:00

Vibe

Vibes flowing within my veins

Of thoughts remain

On the tip of my pen

Releasing over and over again

Flooding paper with unspoken words

Previously unheard

No longer locked inside

All my secrets I confide

Feeling the rhythm

Becoming the victim

Getting lost in thought

Inner battles being fought

Verses being scribed

Syncing with each syllable of this vibe

Awaken

2010-12-08T06:29:00.002-06:00

Awaken Love-Charlotte Atkinson

Awaken

His touch awakens, as a breath of fresh air

His kiss evokes feelings deep

Way beyond a casual affair

With my heart at ease, comes peaceful sleep

His heart soothes inner fears

His eyes confirm sincerity

Wiping away stains left from trails of tears

Walls tumbling, leaving room for prosperity

His personality completely comforts, emotions ignite

His hands guide in new undiscovered directions

Withstanding disagreements, previews a different light

Willingly demonstrates truth behind affections

His voice fills my ears, profoundly outspoken

Words don’t give justice to an unwritten lyric

With him, love prevails the unspoken

His love fully awakens my spirit

Beauty- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME :)

2010-12-07T04:55:00.002-06:00

HAPPY 35TH BIRTHDAY TO ME :)

Beauty

Fresh hair cut and color; make up looking fierce

Eyes deep enough to pierce

My fresh black pumps with the newly manicured toes out

Looks are deceiving; inside I am overcoming self doubt

Tight, sexy dark blue jeans with the red low cut top

Making all of the on-looking mens jaw drop

Cute baby face on the outside

But who wants to really know the complete inside

Short in height and small in frame

Does anyone care whats really in my brain

Focused and professional. but always real

When will someone truly care how I really feel

Smiling face in front of others

Can we truly trust one another

Not impressed unless they can really connect mentally

And not only for satisfaction that only lasts momentarily

The eyes are the key to ones soul

Look deep inside that person and see thier true role

Everyone in life is not for keeps

Every night I singly sleep

Choosing not to settle for less than I deserve

My full heart I have chosen to reserve

It's not in my physical description, but whats in my heart

My inner beauty is my true work of art