Today

I chose this particular pic because its a view I am used to, sunrise in the DC metro area...And I am thankful each day I see this image...I actually pass the monument on my way toand from work :)

Today

Here one day, gone the next

It’s the time in between to reflect

Making each day joyous and fulfilling

Be open and willing

To take on each obstacle that comes our way

Not being lead astray

Cherish love in totality

Make happiness a reality

Stop wasting moments in sorrow

Look forward to tomorrow

For it is never promised

Let the beauty of today not be dismissed

Good Morning All! This is yet another reminder that we need to enjoy what is in front of us...today and stop relying on 2morrow...I JUST got some good news(As I was typing)...They are able to do the procedure...Its really risky and that terrifies me...But its a chance...So I am feeling a sense of relief right now eventhough he still has a long road ahead...I will be right there with him, battling this, encouring him...

Precious Life

Monet-Giverny

Precious Life

Life is so precious

It is something that should never be neglected

Savor each moment

As it is your last momentum

Every second that is past

Treat is as your last

Cherish time spent

Everything has something to represent

Take time and notice the small things

And see what it brings

Once the time is gone

There is no recalling

Always remember as you climb

God only gives us one lifetime

 

Thank You-Prayer

Dear God,

Thank you Lord for continuously blessing our lives

Thank you for opening our eyes

To your promises and guarantees

Thank you for putting our troubles and worries at ease

Please give us strength to bear adversities

Fill us with the Word that accompanies

Your love and grace

Our hunger for your knowledge embraced

Thirst for your spirit overcomes

Guiding us to being the best we can become

Teaching us your Word as it empowers

Your glory and love continuously showers

Cleansing away our sins

Continue to walk with us as our journey begins

Help us overcome the devils constant attack

Fill us with the confidence we currently lack

Thank you again Lord for always having our back

Thank you for keeping our lives on track

Even when we thought we didn’t have the strength to continue

Thank you for your love that always renews

Thank you Lord, Thank you

In Jesus name, Amen

 

Free Falling

Free Falling

Sick and tired of stressing

Constantly assessing

Damage already done

And all that’s left undone

Wondering how I am going to make it

Not understanding how the pieces will to fit

Letting go

Even though the debts are still owed

Having faith that He WILL provide

Closing my eyes and opening my arms out wide

Feeling assurance in His calling

Letting completely go and free falling

 

Deep

Deep

My love for you runs deep within my soul

My worries and fears, your love continues to console

We have been through our share of adversities

And overcome all of our uncertainties

No longer plagued by doubt

Your love I never want to live without

 

Faith

Faith

Why do we worry and stress

Instead of awaiting God to bless

We make choices that have consequences

Blaming Him for our mistakes is our greatest offense

Why do we fight against His will

Instead of trusting His Word to instill

Faith that everything will work out just as it’s supposed to

And not always when and how we want it to

We need to learn how to let go

And realize that He is the One that is in control

All He asks for is our love and obedience

Pray at the altar with faith and confidence

Live out our purpose here in this life

And He guarantees us eternal life

With inner peace and unconditional love

Just build a personal relationship with God above

Faces

Ocean Cherub-Michael Cromwell

Faces

Almost like a chameleon,

Changing with each atmosphere

A collage of faces,

Adapt and adhere

To particular circumstances,

Desiring different results

Seeking your goal,

Pretending not to insult

Falsely displaying,

Who you are not

Attempting to catch,

People in their blind spot

Instead of pretending,

Just be you

Your lies,

Are being seen through

You are not only deceiving others,

But yourself as well

Losing yourself,

Falling under your own spell

 

My Thoughts Personified

My Thoughts Personified

Sitting at the computer feeling the vibe

Surging through my mind and spills out in strides

My feelings, thoughts and whatever is on my mind

Not sure of how it will turn out I grind

The keyboard, my mind overflowing

Not knowing

Exactly what will appear

My words form clear

All these unspoken words inside

I cannot deny

I feel a desperate need to release

My emotions increase

Flooding the page

In a constant rage

Cannot control myself until these words are spoken

It is for me, my token

It feels so good to get this out of my system

And put it into rhythm

A part of me is shared

Doesn’t matter to me if anyone cared

It is my relief

It is only my belief

That I speak, only my needs that I need to meet

My personal retreat

Much to elate

Emotions intoxicate

My mental escape

 

RIP Angie and Aaron

Today my best friend Angie and her son Aaron passed 14 years ago. Although you two are gone, you are NEVER forgotten! I played my Purple Rain CD all the way to work today, remembering our childhood...I truly miss you!

Angela Lee Sternack
5/15/76-11/12/96

Aaron Duke La Belle Jr
...11/12/96-11/12/96

The Beauty of the Sky

The Beauty of the Sky

Sitting there watching the sky

Watching the clouds pass me by

The sky is a deep blue

You can get lost in the clouds for a few

Day dreaming that you are floating on the clouds

Just you, with no one else around

Watching the clouds take a defined form

Observing the sky getting dark for a storm

Fierce lighting blazing

Lying there gazing

In amazement of the sky’s different faces

Dreaming about different places

Watching the sky turn orange and red

As the sun sets while lying there in my bed

In the early morning

Noticing the clouds forming

The purple and blue sky is grabbing my attention

It is too beautiful not to mention

It is breath taking

There is no mistaking

The many different feelings

You can observe the earth’s dealings

Just as our moods can change

The sky is a face that reflects the earth’s strains

Tornados and hurricanes

You respect its reins

Raindrops falling

Cleansing the earth for its calling

Beautiful white snow

In the evening hours you can see its glow

Appreciating the sky’s beauty

As it goes on accomplishing its duty

Lighting striking while it illuminates

The clouds depth and rejuvenates

Lying there observing

The beauty of the sky that is well deserving

 

My Deep Ocean of Thought

My Deep Ocean of Thought

Always in deep thought

Mental stimulation

Everything coming to a halt

Intoxicating penetration

Into the unknown

Thoughts erratic

Feelings shown

Almost like an addict

Actions amplified

For reasons untold

Body numb and mummified

Under mind’s control

Spirit boasting

Strengthening my mind

Heart afloat

Thoughts and desires intertwine

Mind always in a race

Hidden and secure

My secret place

Answers within I ensure

My escape

Into my own little world

Invading this is called mental rape

This is my space twirled

Around the real me

My thoughts run deep as an ocean

My own personal retreat, mental relief

Desires put into motion

All in my head

Lying there untouched

Pure, never tainted or misread

Securely clutched

Always true to self

First and foremost

For my personal health

My personal toast

No one could ever truly understand

The vibes that flow within

Emotions dealt with, and stronger I stand

My thoughts will never end

And are always constant

Until you have walked in my shoes

You could never relate

But listen closely to all my clues

While I attempt to intoxicate

A distraction to deter

And make sure my thoughts and feelings

Are always secure, and un-telling of what may occur

My private dealings

Are my own

Never for others to be let completely in

They are meant to be left to the unknown

Only to reside deep within

 

Silence

Silence

Close your eyes and feel with your senses

Shut off all of your defenses

Don’t think with your mind

Witness this as we intertwine

Focus on the energy that is being produced

Absorb it as it is introduced

Into your soul

Conceive me within you as I console

Experience the vibes that we create

These feelings we elate

Put your arms around me and squeeze tight

I invite you to be a part of this plight

Immerse yourself into my atmosphere

Relax as our souls adhere

And become as one

Enjoy what has begun

This can never be undone

We are connected in every way

Notice my persona is displayed

Nothing to hide

These feelings we cannot deny

I embrace the kiss on my lips

This is our personal eclipse

I clutch your gentle touch

I love you so much

As chills ride my spine

This love we define

But not into words

These feelings can only be felt and not heard

Dip into my intellectual

Make it ever so sensual

And sprinkle me with your trust

This is far beyond lust

This is love that is so true

This love to the fullest we pursue

It is unexplainable science

Feel as I demonstrate my love in silence

 

My Time

My Time

Alone with my thoughts

Inner battles to be fought

True joy found

Self discoveries profound

Learning to love me

In my own visions I am free

Enjoying this moment of mine

Growing from each second of my time

 

Breathe You

Breathe You

I just want to breathe your air,

Where ever you are I want to be there

Feeling your touch beneath my skin,

Taking us to heights we have never been

Exploring perfection of our very own,

Reaching in and out of our comfort zone

Tantalizing newly discovered pleasures,

With no limitations of measure

Absorbing your essence within my being,

Giving loves definition true meaning

Together our love we pursue,

Within I breathe you

 

Autumn

Autumn

Colorful leaves,

Coating green grass

Looking through,

Frost covered glass

Brisk autumn chill,

Breezing across finger tips

Half moon glowing,

Into an almost eclipse

Stars illuminating,

Dark crisp skies

Bitter cool air,

Awaiting sunrise

 

Memories

Memories

Memories consume my dreams,

Of times shared

Touching my soul,

Places no one has dared

Those feelings embraced,

Within my veins

Flowing blood through my heart,

Of love remains

 

Crave

Crave

I just don't know what it is about that man

He just does something to me

That no other can

Willingly locked in his love like a detainee

That place in my heart his name is etched

Unchartered territory of any other

Only his image my eyes have sketched

He gives me chills and makes my heart flutter

Hanging on and never letting go

Love overflowing like a tidal wave

Day by day the intensity grows

It's only him that my heart and body craves

Chaos

Chaos

Dreams interrupted

Rudely awakened

In the wee hours of the morning

Rounds of gun shots firing

Screams of terror and fear

Constant news horror stories

And witnessing what's not reported

Becoming routine occurrences

Tired of the shootings

Daily robberies

Carjacking realities

Domestic violence

Child abuse and sexual assaults

Hourly murders

When does it end

Never I guess

When do you get numb

To the acts of violence

I simply can't

Violence is a part of my life

That I can never accept

Chaos of different kinds

Shows in every aspect of life

All we can do

Is live life to the fullest

Live like it's our last day

And avoid being center

In a life of chaos

 

Cleansing

FYI-The above pic is NOT me...Its just a random image that I got from a google search

Cleansing

Rain drops saturating

Immersing my pores

Tears escaping my eyes

Renewing my soul

Releasing emotions

Soaked leaves and debris

Squashed under my feet

Embracing the cleansing

 

Breathless

Breathless

Every time you walk into a room, I feel you

I feel the strength of our hearts pursuit

When I close my eyes, you are on my mind

Feelings take over, chills run up and down my spine

Yearning to feel you deep inside

Wanting to feel our passions collide

Craving to feel your kisses caressing me

From head to toe, setting me free

The depths of these feelings my hearts confessed

Thoughts of you leave me completely breathless....

 

Isolated

Isolated

Isolated in my own mind

My own world I drift

Falling into my own darkness

Facing my own demons

Totally alone

Isolated

Just going through the motions of life

In my own fogged daze

Life feeling repetitive

Feeling as I am facing the world on my own

Loneliness and depression takes over

Isolated

Body becoming numb

Wishing time away

Depression controlling thoughts

Nightmares feeling like reality

In my own mind

Isolated

 

Thanks

For all the great comments!  I left Weds after writing that blog.  I have been home sick with a stomach virus.

I hope that everyone has a great weekend!

Not Today

Not Today

I am just not the one today
Everyone needs to just stay out of my way
Not in the mood for nonsense
Trying not to let my mood cause offense
But people stay testing my patience
True my attitude needs some maintenance
Just not feeling ok in any way
Because today is not the day

Dont Bother

Don't Bother

I am getting tired of these guys spittin game

It's all starting to sound the same

Half or more are married or committed

But of course the truth was omitted

Pretending to want more

When it's really only my body they want to explore

Sorry, I am just not that easy

It takes some true effort to please me

And what happened to chivalry

What's up with guys approach, literally

Can I please have some respect

From the door your intentions I can detect

I am really starting to get irritated

When any approach is illustrated

My excuse may be awkward

I truly don't even want to be bothered



Remembering

Remembering

Winds brushing my lips reminding

Heating cold nights

Cooling summer sweats

Quiet in a crowded room

Beams of light in darkness

Teaching the untaught

Smiles replacing emptiness

Kissing tear drops

Loving the unlovable

Remembering his love



Indecisive

Indecisive

I want what I want and now

Even when I am not sure how

Patience is something I am not good at

Impulsiveness is something I combat

I go with the flow of the moment

Loneliness has been an adjustment

In trying to find the perfect match

There are feelings that attach

Been back and forth a few times

To see which light shines

The brightest in realities eyes

Over and over I revise

In the end I just want something real

I want true love to reveal

But I don't trust my decision's

Not sure if this is what I envisioned

Trying to calm the apprehensive

And no longer be so indecisive

 

Irresistible

Irresistible Love-Hessam

Irresistible

Not a moment goes by

That my body doesn't crave

The way our tongues tie

Tasting each second memory saved

Soft kisses on my neck and lips

I cant even pretend to resist

Pure love sips

Drunken passion twisted

Tingling sensation

Floating high

Loves creation

Nothing denied

Everything kissable

Ecstasy irresistible

 

Surreal

Surreal

It's a known that women love stronger than men

We stay in search of true love

Wanting that one man to love us to no end

Giving us everything our heart is in search of

We dont take in account real life

No man or woman is perfect

We are too caught up in being his wife

That our feelings misdirect

We have to learn to love the man for who he truly is

And not what we want him to be

Why do we have to investigate in belongings of his

Why do we look for a guarantee

We need to be spending time making sure personalities fit

Seeing if everything about him we can love

The signs are there from the begining but our blinders omit

Does the good in him stand above

Enjoy time spent and stop looking for secrets to reveal

Stop searching for a love thats perfect and surreal

Good Morning All!  I truly try not to visit blogs before I write whatever I am going to write because they influence my topics.  But this morning I read Traci Lavette's blog (<----Click to check out her post) and read about women wanting men to commit.  Check it out.  But this is where this poem was born.  I am guilty of all of the things above and maybe needed this reminder myself...I hope you enjoy...

Confined

Confined

Heart pounding rapidly

Stomach tossing and turning

Body heat rising

A lump forming in my throat

Words escape my mind

Stuck on the edge of my tongue

Not able to release

By simply speaking

Revealing inner meaning

Confessing true love

For now these words remain confined

Until the time is right

Or maybe never to be spoken

Your Song-Guest Poet-Fallyn

Your Song

Written by: Fallyn Schonthaler

A look across the room, an innocent compliment

A chance to talk alone, attraction is imminent

Casual touch, intense flirtation

Everything fades out

Loss of concentration

An embrace, a kiss, your lips electricity

My body aches to react, but this is full of complexity

My heart wants to love; my body to lust

If this feelings grows stronger, I just may combust

I dont want to give in, but how can I trust

Your eyes always warm, your smile is mine

Your love keeps me strong, a feeling devine

To be with you in every way, I hate to prolong

Because in my heart I know, to you I'll always belong

When I'm with you my soul sings your song

Emotions

Emotions

It takes a special man to love me

My emotions are over the top to the thousandth degree

It doesnt take much for me to get in my feelings

My heart still needs healing

I need a man who is willing to comfort

My insecurities to avert

Someone who has no problem with reassurance

And doesnt see my emotions as a hinderance

Because along with strong emotions

Comes loyalty and devotion

When you truly love me

You have to love all of me

 

All or Nothing

All or Nothing

You don't really want to hear

The words that caused my tears

Or know the reason my heart aches

My emotions you don't want to partake

My fears and doubts you don't care to ease

Once that door is closed, barricading is my expertise

I can't lock away only half of my heart

This will cause no more feelings to depart

Now I will keep all within

Things will never again be like they've been

If I can no longer release

Denying a part of me just to appease

Accept me for me

This is my final plea

Or it's leading to our downfall

It's all or nothing at all

Ignored

Ignored

Taking it one day at a time

Feelings not exactly sublime

Life is so reptetitive and routine

And nothing in between

No joys of fulfillment

No love instilled

I feel like I am battling this world alone

While situations continue to be thrown

Feelings of neglect

Sort of like a disconnect

Body becoming numb

Not sure if what I want will ever come

Or if it even truly exists

Loneliness persists

Feeling if I die tomorrow

There will be no tears of sorrow

Everyone will live thier lives as normal

Why do my emotions have to be abnormal

Why do I care so much

Sometimes my heart needs to be touched

I get insecure and need reminding

Mind games unwinding

Is it wrong to want to feel love seeping my pores

For my feelings to be nurtured and not ignored

Homeless

Homeless

It all started when my marriage crumbled into ashes
My life went crashing

I had no idea what was about to transpire
Distress got me fired

Life turning upside down
So called friends are nowhere to be found

Had to make the hardest decison
Sending my children to daddy was more than I could envision

Endured unimaginable affliction
Starting all from the first eviction

Living place to place was not where they needed to be
Sleeping and eating daily was not a guarantee

No one showed me compassion
Generosity only came in rations

Times got desperate
Keeping mind and body seperate

As I did things I never thought I could do
Putting myself in situations I wish no one had to Ever go through

I learned no one truly cares
Except the Man above, who I send my tearful prayers

Had to learn how to humble myself and set my pride aside
Having faith that He will always provide

All along He heard my silent plea
After I learned my lessons He started blessing me

Sending me in the direction I needed to succeed
Gaining the strength to proceed

He carried me through the horrors of the streets
My fears I have no choice but to defeat

Missing Your Love

Random art borrowed from the internet

Missing Your Love

It's the soft, slow kisses on my neck I miss

Sending me into a total state of bliss

Making love felt like we were the only two in existence

Continuously pleasing me with strong persistence

Watching the sun set with the moonlight reflecting off of the waves

Its only you I endlessly crave

Driving hours with strong anticipation

To relieve all of my sexual frustration

Just being in your presence

Feeling your essence

Was all I ever needed

But my insecurities interceded

Being unable to trust I ruined "us"

And any chances we had of success

But I can't stop feeling the pain

Now only missing your touch remains

Missing the sound of your voice

The way you made my heart rejoice

Inside and out the way you made me feel

My true feelings I can no longer conceal

I am missing your love

And the lack thereof

Rain

Random picture taken from a google search

Rain

Tear drops staining my cheeks

Just hearing the words as he speaks

He is giving up and cant take no more

My issues he can no longer ignore

I know I am not easy to love

My insecurities stood way above

I constantly pushed him away

Not sure if he was to betray

I just couldnt let him in

I didnt even allow us to begin

The truth was that he already had my heart

From the very start

I didnt want him to take advantage

I dont know how I am going to manage

No desire to move on

Feeling neglected and withdrawn

I love him more than I could show

Now he will never know

Freeing myself of this inner pain

My soul is cleansing with each drop of rain

 

Speak

Speak

Dear Lord,

I put my life into your hands

Even if I don't understand

Only you know what's best for me

And with faith my heart agrees

I am at a crossroad in my life

Two men want me to be thier wife

And I am not sure which way to turn

Your guidance I yearn

My financial situation is not quite right

I am in desperate need of your insight

I want to be able to provide

At home where my children reside

I desire to be the best person I can be

And live my future as you foresee

Please shine your light

And give me a line of sight

Now I pray and listen for your voice

In your name I rejoice

I know you will give me all I seek

To my heart you speak

 

Someone

Dali Salvador

Someone

I want someone unconditionally...

Someone that tells and shows me how special I am to them

Someone that will make sure I am ok before he is worried about him

Someone who unconditionally loves me for me

Someone who encourages me to be everything I can be

Someone who for no reason brings me flowers

Someone who believes in unconditional love and its true powers

Someone who listens and truly cares how I feel

Someone who is man enough to tell me no

Someone who is secure enough to allow his love to clearly show

Someone who will treat me like a woman should

Someone who will jump hoops to do all he could

Someone taht makes you want to rush home to

Someone nightly to make love to

Someone to hold me at night

Someone who no longer wants to argue and fight

Someone who would never put his hands on me

Someone who wouldnt dream of cheating and only desires me

Someone that cant imagine thier life without me

Someone who is prepared to stand on bended knee

Does this man exist?

Is this too much to ask?

I am prepared to give the same in return and then some...

 

His Battle

His Battle

Let go and your joy will be complete

Dont just fall in defeat

Your troubles make you stronger

Dont hold onto the guilt any longer

Repent your sins

And your peace will begin

Never give up hope

Whatever it is, you CAN cope

Set your mind at ease

Dont question God's expertise

Stay in fear of His reign

Allow His glory to attain

And His knowledge to excite

Realize that its just not your battle to fight

This is a repost...I needed this reminder today...I hope that everyone has a great weekend.  I will be back on Tuesday...

Sincere

Monet's Garden

Sincere

You deserve more than I have given

Time and time you have forgiven

My doubt and fears

When my insecurities interfered

I constantly ran from the inevitable

My past mistakes were no longer deniable

But you always loved me for me regardless

Even when my love I attempted to suppress

But I can no longer deny

Never again say goodbye

My loyalty I can guarantee

I love you with everything thats in me

My heart is no longer broken

Words can no longer be spoken

My actions will show clear

My heart is truly sincere

Step Up

Step Up

It's time to step up or walk away

No longer being led astray

My desires aren't being met

My needs you've chose to neglect

Luckily my heart isn't in too deep

But please don't sleep

Because I do have options

So take this as a word of caution

What you won't do someone else will

Your place can be easily filled

It's now or never

I am not going to wait forever

The above butterfly pictures represent me possibly having to fly away if need be.  Flying to my destiny...