Confusion

Confusion invades and brings me doubt

Shedding light on everything I am unclear about

Causing me to be indecisive

As well as apprehensive

I want to learn to trust my heart

And finish what I start

Maybe I am more “in love” with being loved

And scared to live life feeling unloved

Still learning how to love and give my all

With confidence to stand tall

Instead of pulling people in, just to run away

Allowing my heart to be easily led astray

Knowing I need to let go

And take things slow

In order to make better decisions

To see beyond my line of vision

Just when I think I am healed

Someone comes from left field

Making my heart skip a beat

Forgiving me for my deceit

But I am still unsure

If I am strong enough to endure

Every time I try to move on

My attention is drawn

For a love that still pulsates my being

While doubts have my heart disagreeing

Not sure which way to turn

To receive the love I yearn

Trying to see clearly through this delusion

And break free from this state of confusion


Hello All! WHY of WHY does his voice STILL make my heart skip a beat? The second I attempt to move you, he is right there...Why does he have such a hold on my heart? That I just cant break free of...

Earthquake + Hurricane/Tropical Storm

Good Morning All! Things have been quite crazy in MD this week, hince me not posting. First of all Tuesday around 2pm while sitting at my desk the entire building started to shake. Mind you I am in a really old wooden bldg that should be condemed already...Its so bad that there are areas in the hall that we avoid so we wont fall through on a normal...so our building shook way harder than a normal brick building would have. And I have never felt that feeling ever before. We arent used to that on the East Coast at ALL...Almost makes me never want to even travel to Cali. Scared the mess out of me forreal, esp not even knowing what the heck it was. I am still a little shaken but have a poem brewing from that expereince...Still pissed I sat in 3 hours of traffic that day because of people in a panic.

Now, Saturday evening we are looking out for Hurricane Irene that is supposed to gives us a tropical storm and flash floods. So, this has just been a very scary week all together.

I hope that everyone has a great weekend, be safe and blessed!

Eyes Wide Open

Clarity in my vision

Clear and concise decisions

Knowing exactly what I want and need

From lessons learned, I now heed

Voice of reasoning in my ears

No need to front, everything is as it appears

Taking control of my destiny

My worth has endless density

To your words and actions, I listen

Everything I need to know, is given

Smarter with my choices

Adhering to the inner voices

Recognizing ill intentions from the door

Knowing I deserve more

My future has already been chosen

Eyes wide open

Good Morning All! This is how I am feeling this morning...Tired of the bs...Flipping the page...

Hearts Align

Your touch absorbed within

Soaked in the depths of my skin

Your kisses make my heart smile

Making each second worthwhile

Your voice calms my mood

My spirit relaxed and subdued

Your hugs are warming and secure

Sublime moments always allure

Your scent awakens my senses

Natural emotion dispenses

Your eyes reflect truth and sincerity

Ensuing doubtless clarity

Feelings felt, I can no longer deny

Your love leaves me high

Your lips form poetry to my ears

While drying my tears

As our hands intertwine

Our hearts perfectly align

Good Monday Morning! I am feeling a lil sexy this morning :)

Through the Fire

I have been through the fire

Made plans from this earth to expire

I experienced homelessness, rape(s), and molestations

That attempted to crack my foundation

But what my father did hurt worse than any other

I went through two divorces and battled lifelong depression

But in the end, I have learned more than one lesson

I got off track but found my way back

Gaining the strength I lacked

My daughters gave me my motivation

But God’s Word prevented total desolation

And gave me back the fight and faith I required

To survive through the fire

Good Morning All! This one came from the heart...

Moments

Hold me tight and secure

And with your eyes allure

Your sincerity that is within

And the sexiness in your grin

Smiling from the inside out

Not falling victim to doubt

Enjoying now without expectations

Releasing any limitations

Open and allowing a natural flow

No explanations to owe

Cherishing each moment spent

Comfortably and content

Good Morning All! So many people put too many expectations on things...This reflects just allowing things to happen naturally, and whatever happens...happens...This is something I have had to work on over the years myself...So its a lot more fun just chilling out...and accepting whatever comes...

Heartache

The yearning and aching

My heart continuously re-breaking

At the thought of my actions

My moment of distraction

Succumbing to weakness

Not appreciating your uniqueness

As the keeper of my heart

I know It’s my fault that we are apart

And that nothing can take back what’s done

But this heartache I can’t seem to outrun

This longing within my soul

That only your love can console

Good Morning ALL! I just recently talked to my ex boyfriend (Navy) and he has been reminding me of how badly I hurt him...Which is so hard to hear...My heart breaks at the thought of him hurting...He is obviously still feeling it...But yet, at the same time he misses me...and cant stop loving me...After I hurt him over and over and over (Which he NEVER deserved) how could he STILL have love for me? Why does he not hate me? I was insecure, and couldnt wait for my Navy man...So this poem reflects the heartache from all that I have done...that I cannot take back...

Irresistible

Irresistible

Not a moment goes by

That my body doesn't crave

The way our tongues tie

Tasting each second memory saved

Soft kisses on my neck and lips

I cant even pretend to resist

Pure love sips

Drunken passion twisted

Tingling sensation

Floating high

Loves creation

Nothing denied

Everything kissable

Ecstasy irresistible

Hello ALL! I am posting this because maybe I kinda miss this feeling...I am feeling sexy, but dont have the person to feel this way about...But thats totally cool with me! I am enjoying the "now"...There is someone...but I am def taking my time to get to this level...He doesnt even know all the barriers that have to be broken to get to my heart...

Projection

Projection

Forming a plan to devise

A smooth lateral transition

My strategies I will advise

To accomplish the target mission

My capabilities will go above and beyond

Anything ever expected

Forming lasting relationships as I correspond

Honored to be the one selected

Now it’s my time to shine and uplift

To demonstrate perfection

My decisions will charge each shift

Time to share my ideas and projections

Good Morning All! I tried to write this morning but nothing seemed to form for me...My thoughts are scattered...I am reposting this because this is where my mind is...Focused on what all I have to do...I am posting as a reminder for me to get my focus back...

Releasing

Releasing my heart

Of anything that doesn’t fit

Into the visions I have planned

Releasing feelings and hurt

To love and accept

The good and bad

Releasing words from my mouth

With only truth and sincerity

No longer biting my tongue

Releasing negativity and drama

Not feeding into nonsense

Because I am a lady in every sense

Releasing anyone who doesn’t deserve

To receive all the love inside me

I am worthy of cherishing

Releasing to set free

All that is not for me

Weights lifted, rejoicing in release

Good Morning All! This is sort of a rant...Last night I did some releasing...I honestly told him the details of me moving on, eventhough it hurt him to the core...I had to be straight up, because there was nothing he could say or do to make my feelings towards him change...Now I feel like a dead weight has been lifted off of my chest and out of my life...Now I am looking toward a bright future...Heading back in the direction I am destine for...

Love Lost

After your deception I am unable to trust

My heart is not forgiving of the unjust
My barriers have now been raised

And any effort to repair goes unfazed

Once those lines have been crossed

I can’t regain what has been lost

Anything else now will be time wasted

Love can never again be tasted

Good Morning All! I wrote this just to post on facebook to let someone know just how I feel lol...I give a fair chance...I tried to show with my actions but he still isnt getting the hint...I have already moved on ;) and no longer chose to pretend...

Reminisce

With closed eyes my visions are clear

Almost like a dream he appears

Holding me tight and whispering in my ear

Truths in his eyes give me comfort that he is sincere

Hesitations and doubt quickly dismiss

Feeling the passion with each kiss

Creating the depth of an oceanic abyss

On times yet to be shared in my mind I reminisce

Good Morning All! I had no idea what to write until a text gave me this inspiration :)

PS: Anyone who has a blog that I have to log into, I am unable to comment. But this doesnt mean that I am not reading...Do people really get that much spam on here that they need someone to log in just to comment :(

Curiosity

I must admit I am intrigued to know more

Than the exterior décor

Physical attraction initially caught our attention

Curious to discover each level of your dimension

Enjoying the current conversation exchange

Looking forward to plans being arranged

And time spent getting to know

How deep our friendship is able to go

Feeling vibes brought by mutual sensuosity

I am intrigued with strong curiosity

Good Morning All! This write was a little forced today. It is how I am feeling right at this very moment about a certain someone...But since there arent really many feelings attached in the begining of getting to know a person, it was hard for me to relay the vibes that are flowing within me. I dont want to make any assumptions about anyone or even get hopes up. I like to take my time and enjoy day by day and whatever happens, happens naturally...

Despite

We rise up just to fall back down

Daily trying our best not to drown

Having that one that’s by your side

Holding you tight through this roller coaster ride

When life knocks you from every angle thought of

Providing strength and joy only given through His love

Makes every second of every day worth the fight

Finding true peace and happiness despite

Good Morning All!  I just wanted to remind everyone, that despite it ALL...He will carry you when you cannot walk...I wanted to do a sensual, sexy piece today because that is kinda how I am feeling...But these words spilled through my pen...So an inspirational day it is :) enjoy!

Ok, I did a quick name change of this blog...I got tired of "Inside Jstar's Head" because its not technically true...My words are not even a thought...They flow directly from my heart onto paper...With no reason or rhyme at times...or even understanding...So until I come up with something catchy...Poetically Jstar it is :)

Passion

Your kisses melt me into a liquidation form

To your body I conform

Our hearts beating in sync

From lustful passion we drink

Ok, I know this is really short...but its kinda all I wanted to say...You know that kiss, that words just cant describe...This is what I am talkin about...

Healed

Hollowed heart and dented frame

Buried deep, love remnants remain

Echoes of repeated mistakes

Mind no longer aches

Inner peace and joy refill

With God’s will

Truth no longer concealed

Once broken, now healed

Short and sweet...Its shows an overcoming of the darkness within that so many people deal with...Giving testimony that this CAN be overcome and inner peace and joy ARE possible within HIS WILL!!!

I Still...

I still taste his love within my soul

I still feel his touch on my skin

I still crave his kisses on my neck

I still feel his arms around me

I still smell his scent with every breath

I still hear his voice whispering in my ear

I still envision him in my future

I still dream of him like he never left

I still remember every moment with him

I still love him with everything in me

I still know we could never again be

I still miss him

Good Morning All! Ok now, here is a lil somethin somethin...Still not sure who was really my muse for this one but these words came to my while driving to work...Maybe someone is missing someone and needed to hear these words...But we all do have that one that got away and still think of time to time...

Gone Too Long

I know I have been gone too long

But so much has been going on

I haven’t had a free moment to sit and write

Thousands of words are floating in my head despite

Unable to release

Can’t wait until this chaos cease’s

Not that any of it has been bad

Or any reasons to be sad

It’s just this thing called life getting in the way

Blocking the words I am dying to say

I promise, soon I will again write from my heart

And never again from you depart

Hello All! I sincerely applogize for being away wayyyy toooo long. I have been VERRRRRYYY busy at work finishing up this project. And also dealing with the worst toothache/migrane in the WORLD...Its FINALLY been taken care of and I am still living despite lol...This was a quick two minute poem to express my sorrow for not being able to write lately....This will soon change :) Keep looking out!

Happy 15th Birthday Erika

Happy 15th Birthday to my Munchkin Erika!

Commenting Issues

Is anyone else having issues commenting on certain blogs? I tried on several computers and it keeps making sign in then after I do it brings me back to the log in screen :(

Reminiscing

I remember

The first moment I felt you growing in my stomach

When I first laid eyes on your beautiful face

I still remember the first time you smiled

You learning how to hold your bottle

As well as crawling and then walking

I remember

The silly games we would play

The singing and dancing

And making crazy faces

Playing dress up and tea time

But hide and go seek was your favorite

I remember

Your first day of Kindergarten

And you forgetting to get off the school bus

The first picture you drew me of those spiders

All of your artwork I still have to enjoy your growth

The field trips to the pumpkin farm

I remember

Preparing you for your eight grade dance

And your transition to high school

Homecomings and track meets

Your first boyfriend and breakup

Now your first love and senior prom shopping

Now

You have graduated high school

And heading off to college

You have just turned eighteen

And learning how to drive

Making me proud to be your mother

I wish

Nothing but the best for you

Although life is far from easy

You are a smart and strong young beautiful woman

And have the world right in front of you to enjoy to the fullest

Just know I will always be here for you, no matter what

Hello All! Today is my oldest daughters 18th birthday and I wrote this for her today...

Eye Gazing

Eyes deeply gazing, glossing and glowing
Sparking a green and brown combination
Peeking through my lashes
Clearly displaying the love pouring out of my heart and soul
My smile is relaxed yet sincere
Feeling secure and safe releasing my heart to you
Comforted by the support of your lap beneath my head
Facially expressing a woman happily in love

This poem was attempting to reflect the look in my eyes and how I was feeling at that particular moment in time.

Testing

I am testing out this new blogger ap from my android :) this wil make me not have any exuse to neglect my blog! I haven't been able to put together a whole poem lately but have posted random thoughts on my facebook. I will have to change that really soon

Two Becoming One

Butterflies fluttering, tickling within

Chill bumps forming

Feathering across my skin

Forehead kisses trailing

Along my neck to the smalls of my back

Anticipation unveiling

Closed eyes, colors fading to black

Feeding off of senses

Sensuality liquidating

Whispers of tongues dispense

Ecstasy naturally sedating

Emotions intertwine

Timeless seconds sung

Love redefined

Two becoming one

Good Morning! This is my attempt to capture the beauty of love making...tastefully...

Loved

Your love is like a breath of fresh air

Making my senses alert and aware

In love with the way you love me

And rest assure my hearts plea

Healing my past pains

Finding that love inside that still remains

Teaching me how to let go and allow love in

Kissing my tear drops that flow within

My doubts and insecurities slowly disappearing

Heartache no longer fearing

Commitment standing above

Regardless, I will be loved

The last line is from Maroon 5, She Will Be Loved-One of my fav songs...I think its my favorite because I have desired to be loved for so long that I almost thought it wasnt possible...

CONGRATS Tanaesha!

Congrats to my babigirl for graduating High School yesterday :) I am so proud of her! I know I have to let her grow into the woman she is fastly becoming. Letting go and allowing her to make her own mistakes is the hardest of all! But I will ALWAYS be there for her to guide her on her journey! CONGRATS Tanaesha Lashaye Leak! Enjoy the best life has to offer!

 

PS: I have been having issues with blogger on commenting on a lot of my fav blogs, but I do want you to know that I am reading...Even if I am unable to comment...

Fairytales

Fairytales do not truly exist
Although sleeping beauty is awaiting to be kissed
Prince Charming will indeed disappoint
Hopes and dreams will of course disjoint
But that’s the realities of life
Take comfort in promises of the afterlife
There is happiness that can only be found within
Don’t allow the issues of the world to get under your skin
God can release your burdens and take all your pain
As well as give you the strength to sustain
This God-given joy cannot be taken unless you allow
Enjoy the here and now
And everything else will fall in its rightful place
Once you love you and give God control
You will feel peace in your soul
Remain smiling when your train derails
Knowing life is never a fairytale

Grateful

I am grateful for my struggles because they have made me stronger
Even if that means I have to struggle a little longer

I am grateful because I have made it this far even if my steps are gradual
My goals I keep up front and center in my visual

I am grateful for all of my pain and heartaches because they have made me wiser
I now seek God for guidance as my only advisor

I am grateful for my tears and depression because they have made me thankful
And appreciative of the peace in my heart that has made me truly joyful

I am grateful for the love my daughters have shown
And my downfalls are lessons learned for not me alone


I am grateful for Gods continuous mercy and grace
Even when my actions were displaced

I am grateful for each and every blessing I have been given
And that my sins with prayer are forgiven

I am grateful for each day I awake
Having another chance to correct my mistakes

Good Morning All!  This was inspired by todays inspirational morning message from Steve Harvey this morning. Its a reminder to me that no matter what, I have reasons to be grateful...From the good to the bad...Because in the end, everything has a purpose....In that pains and hurt, we need to look harder to find the true blessing...

Distant Mind

Loved ones seem so distant

Their love is being so resistant

They don’t even know

Because my sacrifices haven’t shown

Their voices seem so far away

Their hearts led astray

But I am still pushing on

Even if they notice me withdrawn

Mind racing in constant thought

My battles have already been fought

Focused on my goals

Worrying about only that I can control

Good Morning All! I wrote this one about my teenagers and that teenage-know-it-all attitude...I love my girls...but this is the time they start pushing away...I am there, as always...but allowing them to feel themselves for the moment...

Echoes

Echoes

Your voice in my ear echoes

Loud and clear, sending chills

Exploding like a volcano

Firing lava distills

From the after affects,

Never again the same

Energy redirected

Senses inflame

Lust reaching heights

Never before known

Inner fire ignites

Adding volume to each tone

Bliss in each breath taken

Tasting each kiss

Sensitivity awakened

Echoes drifting into our abyss

Good Morning All! This is a fresh one...I hope you enjoy :)

Serenity

Serenity

Our magnetism is electrifying

Your kisses are hypnotizing

The warmth of assurance

Motivational endurance

Everlasting passion

Lingering scents of jasmine

Breathless sounds uttering

Leaving hearts fluttering

Flying above and beyond

Bodies instinctively respond

Oceans flowing deep

Desires are ours to keep

Giving emotions density

With a breath of serenity

Good Morning All! I am attempting to discipline myself to write. At times I get too caught up with life to even allow myself to let go and release all the feelings locked inside with my pen...I hope you enjoyed todays release :)

PS: Isnt that an amazing picture! and its my favorite color :) I just couldnt resist...

Fight

Fight

Inside I feel depression forming

A constant mourning

Disappointment that things aren’t going as planned

Feeling weaker as I stand

Like my legs are about to give

Suffering being relived

As I take steps ahead

I begin to lose my tread

And fall further back

With my face being smacked

Tired of struggling

Day to day juggling

Just to get by

Blessings seem to be on standby

I suppose this is a lesson to gain strength

But how long is this ropes length

I am ready for a break

So sick of this heartache

Stress and worry are weighing me down

Getting harder not to frown

These feelings I want to overwrite

Not sure if I have the energy to continue this fight

Good Morning All! I have actually been pretty good lately...But yesterday things just got a little crazy..If it isnt one thing, its another...I am just soooo tired...and today it shows in my mood and in my face...I had to force myself to write and this was the way I felt so it carried over into this poem...I do have happier things to write about...I am just not feeling any of that at this particular moment...

MIA

I so applogize for being MIA recently. I havent even had a chance to breath much less release my feelings into any type of form. My oldest daughter had her senior prom and getting ready for graduation. And now my youngest is getting ready for her 8th grade prom and middle school graduation...Not to mention work keeps me very busy lately.  But all in all, good things are happening. I have started seeing someone :) and that is going great...

Well I have to run now...but I will leave with a few pics...of my babies prom and my new hair cut and color :)

 

 

Vengeance

Vengeance

There is no justice in death by taking one’s life with your hands

Taking responsibility with what you think are His plans

It’s not our right or place to judge

For our own personal grudge

Vengeance is an act of hate

Where is your morality rate

Two wrongs don’t make it right

We are responsible for death despite

Who started the nonsense

All in the name of defense

In the end its still murder that’s unjust

Doing what we think is a must

At what cost

Lives are still lost

Good Morning All! Am I the only person not celebrating the murder? Is it our right to judge or take life from another? Regardless if you have a uniform or badge...In the end you will still have to answer to God...Murder is murder...To me, two wrongs don't make a right...Our hands are now filled with blood...ever since this war started...This war is not even possible to win...So now we await their promises of more death and destruction...so what we can retaliate again...When does is end???  I foresee the world wars mentioned in "Revelations" coming to pass...

Exhaustion

Exhausted physically
And drained mentally

But I still have fight left in me
Displaying my smile for all to see

I have business to administrate
Plans and goals to create

Figuring out what’s next to begin
Not allowing exhaustion to set in

Thank You-Prayer

Thank You-Prayer

Thank you Lord for continously blessing our lives

Thank you for opening our eyes

To your promises and guarantees

Thank you for putting our troubles and worries at ease

Please give us strength to bear adversities

Fill us with the Word that accompanies

Your love and grace

Our hunger for your knowledge embraced

Thirst for your spirit overcomes

Guiding us to being the best we can become

Teaching us your Word as it empowers

Your glory and love continuously showers

Cleansing away our sins

Continue to walk with us as our journey begins

Help us overcome the devils constant attack

Fill us with the confidence we currently lack

Thank you again Lord for always having our back

Thank you for keeping our lives on track

Even when we thought we didnt have the strength to continue

Thank you for your love that always renews

Thank you Lord, Thank you

In Jesus name Amen

Good Morning All! Since it is Good Friday, I thought this would be fitting to repost...I just want to thank Jesus for his sacrafice so that we could be free! I hope everyone has a safe and blessed holiday!

Memories

Memories

Mind drifting to places unknown

Sighs float in the wind like a whisper

Smelling the fragrance of his cologne

Images are bright and getting crisper

Seconds and hours disappear

Time lost does not return

The past seems far but near

Feelings capture and do not adjourn

Moments embraced as the clock ticks

Words no longer able to say

Broken promises remain unfixed

Memories constantly replay

Good Morning All! Not quite sure where this one came from...Not really missing any one particular person...Maybe missing that feeling of love...Theses words to came to me and spilled onto the paper...It wasnt on my mind consciously...But it flowed directly from my heart...

Why

Why

Why do I run from what I want most

Always dodging chances at love

The ability to release all that’s locked in my heart

That one to share life experiences with

That someone to hold me at night

Instead I sleep alone

Dealing with loneliness each day

Feeling incomplete

Missing companionship

Yearning to love

Scared of being hurt

Or wasting time when it doesn’t work

Not wanting to be disappointed

Expecting one who is perfect

Knowing that’s not reality

I need to allow love in

Stop reflecting on what may never happen

Take a chance that I may not regret

Learn how to feel again

And no longer ask myself why

Spaces

Spaces

Spaces in between and out of time

Lost in thoughts absorbing the mind

Spaces where hours seem long

When you're tired of singing the same song

Spaces where words have no meaning

While each letter is hurtfully screaming

Spaces with no one to fill

Like your moving when you're lying still

Spaces where nothing matters

Talking tends to sound like chatter

Spaces that are crowded but empty

As is treatment with no remedy

Spaces that are deep and dark

Adding no fire to the spark

Spaces with endless faces

Depression provoked mind erases

Projection

Projection

Forming a plan to devise

A smooth lateral transition

My strategies I will advise

To accomplish the target mission

My capabilities will go above and beyond

Anything ever expected

Forming lasting relationships as I correspond

Honored to be the one selected

Now it’s my time to shine and uplift

To demonstrate perfection

My decisions will charge each shift

Time to share my ideas and projections

Too Late

Too Late

Where were you when I really needed you

When I wasn’t sure what to do

I needed your kisses to comfort me

To be my referee

When war on me was being waged

To hold me tight when my spirit was enraged

To have my back when times were hard

Help me be more on guard

But these things I handled on my own

Strength to fight battles all alone

So, what do I need you for now

When discomfort you allowed

You haven’t showed me that you were on my side

Weren’t the one I could confide

You’re not worthy to be my mate

No room to step in now, you’re a little too late

Dissapointed

Image from sansaare.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html

Disappointed

I am disappointed with myself, maybe I expect perfection

I choked in a moment of recollection

In the most important time, I was supposed to outshine

My true skills I needed to cosign

I was supposed to demonstrate my leadership

And prove I was well equipped

In which I am very much capable

And more than able

I just know could have done more

So upset at myself I wanted to fall out on the floor

And scream to the top of my lungs

I felt my story went unsung

But I can’t take back yesterday

Its only torture when I constantly replay

What I could have or should have said or done

My insecurities I need to outrun

And leave them where they belong

There was so much at stake; I have been in need for so long

All I can do is leave it in God’s hands

And be confident in His plans

Knowing He will provide my needs

And His will always supersedes

 

Grind

Life is moving so fast, I am trying to keep up

Looking through a magnified glass, close-up

Not allowing anything to pass me by

My goals are reaching the sky

Although life is moving at a fast pace

Each second I embrace

Plans consuming my mind

Constantly on my grind

Love is Mine

Soaring above the mountains

Deeper than the ocean

Brighter than color

Louder than sound

Yet as calm as the waves

Rippling in my heart

My love is real and untainted

And is unconditionally given

To the one who is worthy

Of the great honor

To be called mine

.

Change

Change

My life is going through a major change

Focus and priorities are being rearranged

Personally and professionally revamping majorly

In His wisdom I feed savorly

Praising God for these blessings coming my way

Learning the values of obedience each day

Strong enough to withstand the devils attacks

My faith wont allow me to feel the impact

Instead I relish in His peace

Knowing all the fires will soon cease

Confident that everything will work out

And I will remain standing throughout

My highest honor is serving

After all my struggles in this change I feel deserving

Freeing Darkness

Freeing Darkness

Tasting the salt of the rain

Caused by past pains

Crippling and unable to move on

Wishing the hurt was gone

Cycles continuously repeating

Energy depleting

Tired of the nightmares awakening

Scars further deepening

Unable to trust another

Not able to open up to any other

Secluded and suffering with images

From love and feelings completely distances

Tried every other avenue

But further soul destruction ensued

Until I knelt on bended knee

And asked Him to part my Red Sea

To escape my hell on earth

He led me out of darkness to a rebirth

Freeing my heart and soul

My inner bleeding healed and consoled

Giving me testimonies to recite

Carrying me out of darkness into His light

Never Enough

Never Enough

The sound of your voice makes my heart skip a beat

Like a broken record on repeat

Love no longer denies

Kissing you with closed eyes

Feeling your arms surrounding

In rhythmic sync our hearts pounding

True love escaping our pores

Never enough, always craving more

Stronger

Stronger

From lessons learned I have grown

Dodged each stone thrown

Totally loving me for me

And being the best and all that I can be

Striving for even higher stakes

No matter what it takes

Or what has to be further endured

Through each mistake I have matured

Escaping stress with peace

With my pen I release

Nothing or no one can hold me back

Staying focused and right on track

Loving even enemies with my whole heart

While nonsense departs

Respect I always demand

And stronger I stand

 

His Answer

His Answer

I have so many things going and don’t know which way to turn

Making the right decision is my main concern

Which doors need to be opened and which ones needs to be closed

I pray for my eyes to see all that is being disclosed

In seclusion I spend my time awaiting the correct answer

Where proper decisions will lead my life to an enhancer

This time is teaching me the values of patience

Showing me where my life needs maintenance

As I prepare my life toward His will

My soul He continuously refills

Giving me what I need to maintain

Knowledge through His Word, I ascertain

Giving me inner peace and confidence

Knowing behind each of my actions there is a consequence

Not falling trap to the chaos that surrounds me

In all the answers I seek, resting assure in His guarantee

Good Morning All! I just finished this poem a few mins ago.  I am slowly working my way back into my writing grove. This poem above I think is the reason I went unable to write for so long. Having soo much on my mind, not wanting to speak until I got peace with all that is on my plate.  People are coming at me left and right, to the point I don't know which way to turn.  I have spent a lot of time alone with my thoughts.  Although I still have no resolution, I am learning to be patient and await His guidance.  Allowing things to work out on their own, as hard as that truly is.  I hope that you get peace and patience from this poem, just as I did!

Waiting

Waiting

Heartbroken because I can’t be with you now

My whole heart is yours, I vow

There is no other I desire

It’s only your love I require

Missing times shared

Nothing else can even compare

To the love we hold for one another

In that trueness I find cover

Each second without you my heart aches

But no matter how long it takes

No matter what we have endured

Let your doubt be assured

My love for you I am restating

I will be here waiting

Rushed

Rushed

Too busy rushing around to even think

Not allowing true feelings to sink

Just going through life’s motions

Caught up in all the commotion

Trying to stay focused

Displaying a lack of emotion went unnoticed

Pulling back wasn’t planned

My time is precious and under demand

It’s nothing you have said or done

Not really up to a rerun

My life is heading in the opposite direction

My heart is elsewhere, please accept my confession

There are feelings residing within

Of a love that pouring out through my skin

It’s always been there hidden and denied

These feelings just won’t subside

I can no longer run or ignore

This love seeping through my pores

Listening to feelings felt my heart is pleading

No longer wanting to deny by continuously rushing past true feelings

Good Morning All! FINALLY a fresh one....If you can see, I kinda been going through an inner struggle. These feelings are true to life :) But it may be a good thing -hint hint-