Insane Sanity

All I am asking for is a break

Time to catch my breath and stand up after I fall

Not enough being deposited, but banks still continue to take

Catching up just to fall behind constantly overdrawn and backed up

against the wall

If it’s going to happen, it’s surely going to happen to me

I try to smile regardless but at night when I am alone the tears stream

Feeling as if the waves are drowning me in a dead sea

My pride holds me back and erases my dreams

The weight I carry all by myself gets so heavy that I feel as if I just can’t go on

If it’s not one thing, it’s another…when does it end

I never expected life to be easy but I don’t even have those to depend upon

Not even asking to be rescued but a shoulder to cry on and ears to comprehend

Would make my load just a bit lighter and able to manage

I wouldn’t feel so alone

And always at a disadvantage

Down the drain, my sanity forms into a cyclone landing me dead center

in the drop zone

Not sure how much longer I can maintain

Hanging onto the edge of the cliff contemplating the jump

Just wanting to relieve this pain

Breaking finger nails and drawing blood trying to scrape out of this slump

Mind on overload analyzing different options that would draw different

conclusions

My tunnel is filled with darkness and no shadows of light seep through

Tricks played on my conscious forming insane delusions

Different circumstances with results seeming like déjà vu

My eyes reveal deep sadness but my smile distracts focus

Daily forcing away negative thoughts attempting to only see positive displays

Adjusting my lenses to refocus

It’s just not as easy on some days

And I allow myself to be consumed

To feel every emotion in this process

And then some days I am numb and keep my pain entombed

Every once in awhile mental relief comes and I make progress

But I have learned to fake inner happiness so often that I can at

times forget as well

Then around the next corner I get slammed in the face

My thoughts captured and can’t help but dwell

This repeating cycle I continue to retrace

I must break free and find my mind some peace

Learning to let go even though painlessly isn’t always the case

But I must stop worrying and release

And this negative energy erase

Discover what happiness truly feels like

Regaining spiritual vanity

Ending my personal strike

With my battle against insane sanity

I am in love

I am in love with him

I can’t hide it

Can’t fight it

And surely can’t deny it

It’s truly no one’s business

To know any details

Of our love

It’s only between the both of us

Because what we have, marinates my soul

Makes my heart smile

Each moment I long for him

Lust for him

Desire to touch him

Can’t stand a moment without him

Miss him the second he leaves

Even when he just walks into another room

Not a moment goes by that he isn’t on my mind

He is my tunnel vision

The only man for me

The only man who can make me feel like this

The only man who can make me love like this

The only man who has me in totality

No other could compare

To the way he balances my equilibrium

And calms my spirit

He is the yin to my yang

My total opposite

The completion of my circle

The air in my lungs

The beating of my heart

The blood that flows through my veins

The muse of my poetry

The feelings of my emotion

The love I radiate

I am in love with him

Daddy

I never had that good father role model to look up to

You weren’t there to show me how a man is supposed to treat me

All I remember is witnessing you lay hands on my step mom (RIP Joyce)

Imagining the times when you would do the same to my mom

Even though I was too young to remember

I heard the stories as well as seen you in action

And yea, although you didn't physically take Joyce's life, I blame you 

You spoiled me in rations

When it was convenient for you

And never when I needed you

Then as a developed young teen

You took an interest in something that I could have never imagined or foreseen

How could you even look at your daughter that way

I was innocent and didn’t want to believe my daddy would betray

Held that pain in for decades because I just couldn’t tell

The hurt you caused will never go completely away

Still from time to time the memories come back to haunt

I can’t blame you for the mistakes I made with men

But what foundation did you leave me with

The lessons you taught me were to accept less than I deserve

To give into the desires of men

To do as I am told or there will be consequences

You instilled fear, pain, nightmares and neglect

What was that supposed to teach

The bad supersedes any good memories

I almost feel that was even fake and never happened

All I wanted was my daddy

That daddy that could do no wrong

To protect and love me forever

Even decades later

I still think of you

Still miss you

I don’t understand why 

I still love you

You damaged me worse than anyone on this earth could ever

My entire life I searched for the love I lacked from you

Never even coming close to

Until I learned to love myself

Across my mind

Every time you run across my mind, my heart skips a beat
I inhale my breath deeply and feel such an intense rush of emotions
So intense that a tear escapes my eye and my smile brightens
The tingly sensation felt on every muscle in my body
That my knees feel like jelly type of feeling
My stomach does flips and turns like I am flying on the wings of a butterfly
That I feel like I am floating on the clouds type of feeling
My nose is filled with only your scent
My skin only craves your touch
My eyes only see visions of you
Next to me
My heart only desires you type feeling
I am feeling all of these feelings at this moment
Because you are running across my mind

I want this feeling to last from now until infinity
I want this passion to be constantly nurtured
Blossoming more and more with each second that passes
Foundations strengthened with each hour spent in each others arms
Breathless with each kiss
Souls connecting sharing a passion so intense that two spirits dance in harmony to the sound of beating hearts
Caressing the touch of each feeling felt
Instinctively knowing what the other needs
Responding to desires of pleasure that burn flames into our senses
Tongues create new patterns
The rivers of fluids combine into a love potion that leaves us craving more
Like we are trapped in a spell of emotions
Stung by the arrows of Cupid
Each day discovering new expressions that take us to even deeper into this oceanic abyss
Dark waters wave below the world above
The seclusions of outside interference
Basking in each moment
Locked in this time
Lavishly creating new memories to recall
Inspirations intensify with each breath
You are within me
I taste you in each fiber of my being
I feel you in each thought that crosses my mind
And that's how I know that I love you...

Definitions of love

The breeze that breaths fresh air to your soul and brings life into each shade of color

The gentle brush of the wind that refreshes your spirit, cleansing your emotions

The sanctuary of home in a chaotic world, calming disappointments

The comfort of vulnerability exploring depths of the oceans core

The serenity of joy and peace your heart feels when your mind is at ease

The ecstasy of vibes created as souls connect reaching stages and levels of contentment

The passions of two becoming one, the connection of two beings into one collective spirit

The defining eruptions of each one of your senses causing waves rushing into your mind, body and soul

The volcanic explosions of the vessels within each fiber of your being

The steadiness of your feelings soaring above and beyond the clouds illuminated by each star in the sky

The dance that encircles the rings of Saturn and bounces off Venus and Mars

The orbit of your soul leaving your physical body

The light years that encompasses our true destiny

The nanoseconds that leads to decades of existence 

The rhythms that synchronize the palpitations of two beating hearts

The tickle in your throat when the expressions are released in those three words

The flutter your heart feels when your love looks into your eyes

The high you travel into the galaxy of passion

The brightness of the full moon while the stars fall entering the atmosphere

The rain that forms into drops saturating your pores with each drip

The enhancement of your bond that grows stronger with each second that passes

The excitement felt in the moments before they walk through your threshold

The scent of the morning dew blanketing your eyelids with each vision of love

The last first kiss your lips feel when you are positive they are the one meant for you

The extension of that special part of you no one has ever seen with their own eyes

The relaxation of all doubts and fears

The risk in not knowing what tomorrow will bring but enjoying the happenings of now

The luxury of giving all of you to another without hesitation

The feel of just knowing

The delicacy demonstrated with each taste your tongue embraces

The unconditional gift with no limitations

The chasing of reality found in emotions

The butterfly spreading its wings flying into thoughtlessness while appreciating its beauty

The feelings that can only be felt never able to justify the spoken

The words of poetry your heart creates within unwritten and undefined feelings that words can never truly define

Just let go

Basking in the afterglow of you, of the passion we naturally created

A sense of a homing relaxation, in a trance heavily sedated

The emotions I feel are so overwhelming that I can’t hold back tears

This joy within disregards any previous fears

Making me wonder why I have ever wasted time with another

I feel like life has shown me truths and guided me to the one who is above all others

Each mistake I made prepared me for the blessings I am receiving

Day by day growth is constantly exceeding

I want more and more of you; the levels of love are rising

Feelings that I didn’t know were possible are surprisingly compromising

Each moment with you the intensity increases

My doubts are now resting at peace

The peace I feel in your presence

From the second we part, I mourn your absence

My thoughts are consumed by the memories of us

Just living in that suspended time, lavishing in the now

Not even contemplating tomorrow, the where, when or how

Going with the flow, allowing it to control the destiny of what is meant

The process of falling enriches the energy of contentment

Inspiring each palpitation my heart has fluttered

Supernatural feelings surpass words that could attempt definition with each breath uttered

Our visions enhancement

Love redeems spiritual advancement

Love reasons for vulnerability

Defies sensibility

And worth every risk regardless of consequence

If you allow the natural progression to commence

Allowing true love to cultivate

Just let go and allow your heart to dictate

I need more

I need more than brief text conversations to hold me over until the next time we meet

Just for random bedroom visits attempting to be discreet

How are we supposed to build a foundation with nothing being brought to the table

Not leaving room for growth, feelings slowly being disabled

I long for late night phone calls learning each one of your desires

Time together getting to know what we require

Discovering what makes you smile

Seeing if our compatibility is worthwhile

Even though it’s been a few months, it just hasn’t been enough to sustain

I can’t tell if outside of the physical we hold enough to maintain

I need more of you

To give me something to hold onto

Something to look forward to

Promises of a future to ensue

I need you to be there for me as a man should

I need you to go above and beyond just as for you I would

I need just a little more compassion and attention

To be able to release all of this built up tension

I get tired surviving this cold world alone

Yes, I am used to handling everything on my own

But sometimes it’s nice to have a break from independence

Relief from the weight of the world and its persistence

This routine is getting too comfortable, losing its passion

Now even time spent is being rationed

I just can’t continue at this rate, disregarding my needs attempting to make due

I need more of you

Let’s not speak

Let’s be perfectly clear, your opinion of me has no affect
I saw right through your friendly gestures and your true identity I accurately detect
You are a follower in this evil world trying to gain acceptance
Constantly attempting to prove your competence
Using your God given talent to gain friends on this artistic scene
Behind your fakeness others are also seeing right through your smoke screen
I won’t be the only one that distances themselves from your nonsense and judgmental views
I don’t have time for that and have my own business to attend to
I know exactly who I am and have no need to pretend that I am something other than me
I don’t struggle with any crisis of identity
If you think so, then you truly don’t know a thing about me and never truly tried
You only know what I chose to confide
I don’t entertain drama or feed into childish high school games
Just because I am friends with someone you don’t like, I refuse to share your blame
If the person I am bothers you, then don’t pretend to be my friend
Because who I am you will never be able to comprehend
Not being your friend brings me no love loss
I only have to answer to the man that gave his life for me on the cross
I have my own life to live
And your ignorance I can forget and forgive
I hold no hate, hurt, anger or sadness in my heart for you
It’s sad because you speak positivity but its only venom you spew
For you all I can do is pray
That one day you will see what is it that you portray
Until then, we don’t even have to fake
A friendship that you chose to forsake
My life isn’t up for your critique
So, just keep my name out of your mouth and let’s not even speak

Poetry Month Haiku's

Our Place-16/30

Take me away to
Our special place just us two
With no one around

Let me love you-17/30

Lead me to your heart
Engulf me into your spirit
Let me love you all

I feel-18/30

The way I feel for
You, can’t be described with words
Only feelings felt deep

Boston-Haiku-15/30

My heart is heavy
Innocent lives lost, unknown
Reasons plague my thoughts

Haiku's

Today-12/30
Enjoy life today
Tomorrow may never come
Don’t live with regrets

Rain-13/30
Rain rain go away
You are making it hard to
Keep my eyes open

Love me-14/30
Love me with each breath
Feel me within you, embrace
Me into your soul

Rush-11/30

The rush of being on stage
With everyone focused on hearing what you have to say
Delivering a message, releasing your emotions
Over and over going through those motions
Showing your vulnerability, revealing the inner you
Still nervous each and every time, but the vibes get me through
Reliving those moments with each line you spit
To touch a heart makes it all worth it

Cliff Diving-10/30

I feel as if I am on the edge of the cliff, trying not to fall just yet
But my heart has a mind of its own and tends to forget
I hear echoes from a distance of love calling my name
Even though it’s not quite official; I am already yours and you are mine, I have proclaimed
We know what we are and what we feel
The passion between us is beyond surreal
You consume my thoughts and each second that passes I want you even more
There are so many things that with you I can’t wait to explore
Your calm and collective nature is very attractive
Around you each and every one of my senses are reactive
The way your mind flips and turns takes me on a ride
Trying to see life through your eyes leads my vision to open wide
The attention to detail you have with me retains my constant smile
Your balance and eclectic spirit resides in harmony and peace
A peace that calms me but yet causes the palpitations of my heart to increase
Your open mind knows my flaws but still wants me just as I am
Holding back my emotions for you is like my pinky pushing against the force of the Hoover Dam
My grasp is becoming weaker with each nanosecond that passes
Circling hearts only displaying as the steam fogs the glass
I feel as I am on the edge of the cliff, trying not to fall just yet
But my heart has a mind of its own and tends to forget

Pussy Poets-9/30

You seduce unsuspecting women with each line you write
Each syllable you recite
Getting them caught up in your fairytale
As soon as they like or comment you go in on inbox and email
Then start stalking all of their pictures and notes
Trying to mesmerize her with tempting quotes
All the while, you are doing the same with all the others
Making them feel special one after another
Women of different circles and area codes
Because you don’t want your secret exposed
Posting suggestive pictures seeing how many fish in the sea take a bite
Leading her to believe that piece you just wrote was for her, lighting fires to ignite
Burning desires shared over late night phone calls
Day by day slowly breaking her guard down until she gives you her all
Travel arrangements made and the alluring visits seal the deal
Convincing her privacy with their relationship would be ideal
Covering your tracks so the other women don’t catch on
Making love to her body until the crack of dawn
Blind sighting her into loving you
But still baiting the next beautiful woman you plan to pursue
Continuing this vicious cycle of selfishness
With promises of love remised
When you are done with her
You create arguments and lies to defer
List reasons for why she isn’t the one for you
But keep her on reserve just in case you want to come back to
And hit that every once in awhile
Another crossed off on your list to compile
Breaking hearts just because you can
A sorry excuse for a man
And you know it
You are nothing more than just a lame ass pussy poet

I pray-8/30

You will not consume me
I refuse to let you be
The reason for my tears
My haunting fears
And allow my soul to take hold
Of the pain that has already stole
Years of smiles
Provoked depressions bile
Stop attempting to control
And swallow me whole
Memories torture and just won’t fade
I can no longer be afraid
I kneel down and pray
Please Father; take all of this pain away
Don’t allow a momentary relapse
Set the trap
For sadness to overwhelm
And hold me physically in that dark realm
I refuse to go back there
To every detail of the scars I bare
I want to forget and no longer relive
But how do I forgive

Cursed with beauty-7/30

I was always told how beautiful I was for as long as I can remember. But what my father did to me, made me wish I was ugly. The dirty looks from perverted men that haunted my youth and left a disgusting taste in my mouth. Men used and abused me over and over again. My father took innocence from me at 12, then by two grown men my virginity being stripped before I gave consent at 14. It became a cycle repeating two times after. But still I remained trustful until my trust was stolen for the last time. My view on men for years to come was stained by those selfish acts and continued the cycle of pain. All I knew was torture so I numbed my feelings and caged my love while self torture was my form of killing the pain. I have always been told that I have a magnetism that attracts men; I guess that was the same magnetism that grown men couldn’t keep away from a small loving little girl. Disregarding my innocence for their perverted desires those looks I can never forget. I still feel their thoughts when men approach me or look at me like I am a piece of meat. It doesn’t make me feel beautiful at all. This is why I have had trouble with self esteem my entire life. Others see me as beautiful but I view me as tainted and feel like being beautiful has been a curse for me.

Regardless, I still love you-6/30

I still love you wholeheartedly
Still miss the good times we shared
But the bad memories you left me with still haunt
I miss what you were supposed to be
All that you were supposed to teach
But the lessons I learned still trouble me
Caused relationship problems for decades after
I often think of looking for you just to ask why
Or just forgetting the past
I still need you regardless
Need all that you should be to me
Without you, my life feels incomplete
Even though I just can’t forget
I still love you Daddy

I'm just saying-5/30

I know the exact moment that you started to look in her direction
Even when you tried to fake it, I felt the disconnection
I understand you were trying to make the right decision
Finding the fit for you that you envisioned
I am not at all mad at that, I just wish I was made aware
The truth I could have bared
Especially when I specifically inquired
Instead I grieved over emotions that for you expired
Maybe you were trying to spare my feelings
I know I got caught up too soon in our dealings
But you gave up too easily, went running over issues that could have
been resolved
I just wish I knew your feelings for me had already dissolved
The issues that you expressed with me
You didn’t have an issue with her doing the same for all to see
What’s done in the dark always comes to light
Momentarily my vision was blurred but I have regained my sight
My gut told me the truth, without your confessions I already knew
I wish you and her nothing but the best and hope that she is the one for you
I let you go some time ago because it was what was best for me
And was upfront and honest when I found the one who gave me futures I
could foresee
I just wish you could have done the same
And wouldn’t have passed me all the blame
Instead of truths delaying
I am more than happy for you, I am just saying

That Place-4/30

I just want to get away and go to my special place
Along the water with the breezes brushing my face
That place where I am unable to be disturbed
Phone powered off to prevent any distractions
With my only companions being my notebook and pen
Clearing my mind from all stresses and troubles
Getting lost in my thoughts
Releasing all that has built up inside
To scream, cry, laugh and smile from the inside out
Without advice, opinions or judgments
Even when I have to leave this physical place
I want to take the memories within me
And relive this place whenever needed
Being free to reach into the depths of my soul
Writing out my ideas and inspirations
Just writing whatever I feel
Always writing
From that place

Misled-3/30

Blinded by the facade of you obscured my view
Only showing me what you wanted me to see
Going above and beyond to make my love respond
Persistently pursuing while chasing others undecided in choosing
Reaping the benefits of a relationship while faking companionship
Giving me what I need all the while your lies continued to mislead
If you didn’t truly love me, why did you pretend to love me
I would have respected the truth and my heart protected
You can’t play with emotions and misdirect devotion
Selfish desires can backfire
When you finally realized you needed me, I uncovered your disguise
Saw straight through your falsies leaving my heart displeased
Now you want another chance, on bended knee thinking a ring could enhance
And make me forget the pain of loving you in vain
But the thing is that I love me more and refuse to be hurt anymore
So now I must go and heal, and patiently wait for the one who is real

Take my hand-2/30

Take my hand and show me the way
Lead me to the depths that take me straight to your heart
Let me explore the cultivations of your minds mechanics
Take a journey through you
Stroll in and out your subconscious
So that I can better understand what makes you tick
The cause of your happiness
The rays of your light
To feel your sadness
Discover what sends you over the edge
Definitions of your anger
Each element that defines you
Leave no stone unturned
I want to know all of you
And love you for who you truly are
With no misperceptions
No clouded visions
That love can shadow
Not interested in your representative
Or any shaded versions of the truth
No one is perfect, I get that
But I want to love your imperfections
And adore that glimmer in your eyes
Melt every time you lick your lips
Be there to pick you up when you stumble
Shelter you from the rain
Become the one you turn to at first thought
You’re Bonnie to my Clyde
The one who will always be at your side
So, take my hand
And I will follow

Distractions- 1/30

I sit in darkness, reminded of my troubles
Distracted by worry; feeling doubts in doubles
Disconnection notices piling up, switches flicker flames into silence
Drowning sorrows with each swig of the strongest liquor; momentarily forgetting its existence
Forced to take in the storms remnants, feeling every strand run through my fingers unable to grasp onto reality
Discontentment scribed in the creases of my frown, tears flow through the eyes of irrationality
Hopes drift softly with the breeze above my head landing on an unreachable branch
Nerves unease by breached obligations of a friendly stance
Gathering my thoughts, rechecking my expectations, whipping away all that is disappointing
Lying prostrate begging my Father for favor through his anointing

Prejudged

Enough is enough; I am so tired of being prejudged
Knowing nothing about me but you discriminate and hold a grudge
I am not “acting black”; please tell me how do you act a race
However I do know some that go out of their way to fit in, but with me that’s hardly the case
I am a product of my environment and I grew up the minority
The reason I speak and dress as I do can only be classified as a social conformity
In school, I got teased and at times had to fight
All because my skin was white
I am not out to take your man, I have my own
So, what’s up with the comments and nasty looks making your disgust known
Because I have chosen to date outside of my race, why does this affect you
You have no idea what it’s like to walk in my shoes
Remember I was the minority, and my choices of a partner have been limited
Where opinions from all have never been omitted
Why do you go so far as attempting to take what’s mine
Assuming he will be better off with his “own kind”
It was our decision to fall in love
Is it that you think we are undeserving of
A love that is not based on race but a love that is ever so true
We were able to look past your detestable views
I was raised by a mother who taught me to love everyone regardless of the color of their skin
A mother who holds no hate within
She has lived in the era of segregation and desegregation
With an open and unprejudiced heart that at that time caused complications
Being a witness to family member’s racist views
Distaste and hate continuously spewed
Race relations over the years have not improved
But others opinions over my life are so far removed
I have dealt with discrimination from all races because of my choices
Hateful words replay in disgustful voices
My daughters endured hate and jealousy due to their silky hair and light skinned tone
Long before they understood why a part of their own race disowned
I have endured my share of struggles and hardships
Some men only wanting to fuck a white woman with relationships skipped
Being used and abused time and time again
To look at me you would never know where to begin
To comprehend all that I have ever had to withstand
To know how pure and loving my heart is you may never understand
My question is, where is the love and respect
Negative energy is our disconnect
I am tired of the name calling and assuming
I refuse to allow disrespect to consume me
I only strive for happiness; if you don’t agree with my choices, please let me be
Because at the end of the day, I am always going to be me

Secret Lovers

Who would have ever thought, me and you…I am still in shock
Ever since the first kiss our passion has held my heart securely locked
I can’t get you out of my head, I just can’t get enough…of you
The love I feel is embedded deep within leaving me refreshed and anew
Sun dancing in the radiance of your euphoric rays glistening
Each day beams brighter as if the sun is listening
To the beating of our hearts desires
Having no idea how our future will transpire
Not worrying about tomorrow, focused on enjoying our now
Releasing doubts and barriers for the natural growth to process as time allows
Our years of friendship make this different in ways I just can’t explain
I can no longer deny or restrain
Your persistence and consistency demonstrates your sincerity
Our hearts confessions provide possibilities of prosperity
But no titles can give justice to the feelings being felt
In your presence my knees feel like Jell-O attempting to melt
Taking it day by day building our foundation for coexistence
For now keeping our love affair secret, friends and outsiders remain at a distance
The excitement of being in the same room with you, and no one having a clue
Of this lust for each other we currently pursue
Resisting the urge of my affection
From across the room, still feeling the strength of our connection
Ideas of spontaneous escapes just too secretly taste your kiss
But only inside we share our bliss
A quick glance here and there makes me lose my train of thought
Knowing that you are coming home with me where we will not have to worry about getting caught
When the time is right, we will no longer be able to hide
All of these emotions that we hold inside
But until then
I will only confide with my pen
Freefalling in our overflow
As I mystically bask in our love’s glow
Each day that passes another layer uncovers
And just maybe one day, we will no longer be defined as secret lovers

I think of you

Dreams become reality in my subconscious. Pictures form clear visions. Swimming in the thoughts trapped in my mind. Floating deeply in the sea of ideas and new possibilities. Treading new waters of the unfamiliar, but yet very familiar. Just to deeper depths. Excitement and intensity builds. Salivating words forming on the tip of my tongue. I can no longer hold back this rush. My barriers are crumbling…


Run your fingertips through my hair. Massage my thoughts and create new dreams as my eyes close, seeing new visions that I never thought possible. Hold my hand inside yours, keep me safe from harm. Protect my heart. Shelter me from the rain. Be my comfort. Let me lye my head on your shoulders. Kiss my earlobes with the vibrations from the tones of your voice. Embrace me with the words the drip from your tongue. Stimulate my brain cells with truths spoken. Capture me in the reality of you.

Tame my tongue, with truths told and freely demonstrated. Speak languages unknown to the usual masses. Show me your creativity with whispers of sweet nothings in my ear as soft breaths tickle my spine. It’s the little things; that make all the difference in the world. Show me you, the real you...the inner you, all of you...

I want to take a journey through your mind...and ride in the waves of your soul...as I dive into the depths of your heart. Take my breath away, make me feel like I am floating on the clouds...and make me smile from the inside out. Make me think of you every second of the day, especially when we aren’t together. Give me a reason to rush home. Make me love...you.

I want to rest my head upon your shoulders with our heartbeats syncing in rhythm while the stresses of the day relax. Just being comforted by each other’s arms, glaring into our eyes, kissing away the minutes that lead to hours of your presence. Your words clutch my inner core as your voice awakens my spirit. Your touch leaves footprints that lead to my heart. I am in love with the way you... Love me

Clock watching, anxiously anticipating your arms securely surrounding me. Like a feign, you got me twitchin. Leaving work a few minutes early, running red lights, speeding past speed cameras. All just to be in your arms. To feel your lips upon mine, our tongues rightfully greeting. Our souls connecting...becoming one. Our spirits dancing in the rain showers of our love. Followed by pillow talks and resting my head upon your chest, feathering your skin with the tips of my fingers. Rushing home just to be next to you, to be within you...

Each moment we are apart my mind drifts to that place...we created. I can feel your heartbeat next to mine. Your warmth calming me, your kisses serenading. And again, I am there...beside you...within you...in my thoughts...always. As I close my eyes with visions of you...I only wish to relive our moments in my dreams. I slept with the thought of you. I now rise with the memories of you. Grasping my heart with the intense passion of your affection. You are in my constant daily thoughts and live in my dreams. Reality is; you are making your way into my heart with each second that passes... I think of you...

Leave me speechless

Forget making love, I want you to fuck the shit out of me
And I am not talking about make-up sex either, I want it angry
I have been a very naughty girl and need a spanking
“No, harder…yea, harder”
And when you are hitting it from the back don’t forget to give my hair a little yanking
Pick me up and throw me against the wall, and passionately kiss me
Tongue dive deeply into my dark seas
Drink as if your throat is parched
To where I can’t stay still and my back naturally arches
I want to emcee slobber all over your open mic
And on your tip, flicker my tongue while I graze my teeth but not quite bite
Grasping your width, my mouth suctions
Your saltiness greets my throat with a familiar introduction
Just enough to excite as each nipple hardens
Your fingers slipping and sliding in and out of my botanical gardens
Flip me upside down and tongue kiss my ovaries as the blood rushes to my head
Now pick me up and gravitate me in your arms as your hard dick embeds
Grasp my ass tightly with hard rhythms as you get even deeper within me
Eyes rolling in the back of my head, actions felt and I have lost the ability to see
“Oh yea Daddy, right there”
Fuck going slow, I want it fast and hard…My moans increase and louder I scream
Convulsions erupt as I shake uncontrollably, orgasmic relief down your shaft I stream
Aggressively flip me over and cuff my wrists to the bed post
Teasingly regulate my temperature and be the prescription for my addiction I’ve been diagnosed
Marinate in my wetness and relish in our passion
Dominate and spank this pussy like an assassin
“Fuck me harder, yea harder…ahhh yea”
Gently choke me
As you ravishingly stroke me
With me in one hand, take the other and in one sweep knock everything off the dresser
Perfectly level me for that intense and stronger pleasure
Slowly enter my tight ass with ease and care
Hit that spot as tears of joy stream from my eyes and I gasp for air
With my neck tilted back kiss my lips
Feathering my neck with slow breaths as you grind more rapidly firmly grasping my hips
Carry me into the shower as the warm water over our bodies flow
I bend down to gratefully give you another blow
Ankle grabbing while you balance me and I arousingly throw it back
You flirtingly give my ass a loud smack
My legs start to shake as volumes increase
Which initiates the inevitable release
The pulsating of your dick makes me cum again
We take a moment to catch our breath, and irresistibly let the process begin
“Cuffs please, my turn”
Let’s play this little game
I want your neighbors to know my name
This time I want to be the dominating mistress
You oblige and as always we are both left speechless

Catch me live on air

Don't miss out! This show is going to be nice! And what a perfect platform from such an amazing poet!

Epidemic

These streets are taking our babies, dreams now hopeless and gone
New generations learned from the lessons we passed on
Still heartbroken over the robbing and killing over tennis shoes
The streets I see, don’t even make it to the news
But some mistakes you can’t come back from, we don’t have nine lives
Inexcusable acts of desperation are means to survive
But senseless acts of greed distorts minds
Mothers grieving for children who didn’t even make it out of school
Cruel intentions with fires fueled
Taking away futures no longer able to live
Misdeeds not able to ever forgive
Justice not always the conclusion
Retaliations are street justice delusions
To save our own life, we look the other way
While images of what we witnessed replay
Their screams haunt our dreams
While inside, our tears stream
It’s our way of life, all we know
In this society distorted minds only grow
Sirens become familiar and are disregarded
Shots leave the bloody pavement charred
Kids not expecting to make it into adulthood
Living for the moment, not caring about what could
Selfish behavior taking what doesn’t belong
Peers influencing what’s all wrong
Why have parents stopped trying
Morals no longer being enforced and applied
Single mothers struggling to provide
Leaving no time to guide
There are not enough mentors
To set examples and gives hopes to explore
This repeating cycle never ends
Only strengthens
Violence is never the answer
Just motivation for escalations enhancer
More roles models need to step up for our youth to mimic
If enough people cared, this wouldn’t have to be our epidemic

Souls Joined

We were young and in love, but still didn’t have a clue
Our intentions and heart were always true
The love was so intense, and will always be
Life got hectic and we both made mistakes…Love was not a guarantee
That everything else would fall into place
These were feelings we never felt before… a love that can never again be replaced
We loved hard and fought harder, misunderstanding each other
We rushed into it all and was still learning one another
We didn’t know how to balance life and love
We took our frustrations out on each other instead of together rising above
We can’t dwell on what ifs or should haves
And cannot blame others for the mistakes made on our behalf
I believe everything in life happens for a reason
We learned what to do and not to do in our learning season
From day one we have always had an unexplainable bond
That will live on in this life and beyond
Our words even before spoken, we could translate
One thing we can never deny, we were true love at first sight…soul mates
I still feel you; sense your emotions even from afar
With memories of us, I still wish upon the evening stars
My only regret, is that love was not enough to persevere
Life just got out of control and with our plans interfered
I just wanted to let you know that I still often think of you
And you will always hold that special place in my heart, which belongs only to you
A love that is true never goes away
Our souls will be forever joined…now and always

Empty Promises

Teardrops stain my pillowcase of what was but is now gone
The aching refuses to subside, there’s no reasons left to hang on
Unforgivable actions force me to leave
Happiness has been deceived
Lies replace truth’s intent
Love in this case, misrepresented
Empty promises, wasted time, dreamless dreams
Silent screams
No erasing mistakes and rewriting scripts, the damage has been done
But yet, the stars still shine and the morning guarantees the rising of the sun

My friend…my love

I had a crush the moment I laid eyes on you but always kept my distance
The way our hearts palpitated in our presence, secret desires denied existence
First and foremost we have always been dear friends
You are that one I trust and turn to, your advice I graciously depend
It is amazing to discover we both have hidden feelings
Taking things to the next level is now anxiously appealing
I value all that we are and never want anything to come between all that we have established
But just being next to you my doubts have been relinquished
Your words clutch my inner core as your voice awakens with secrets that encrypt
Inspirations plot our unscripted manuscript
Of yet to be told stories compiling with each feeling and thought
Taking our time to learn how to love one another as growth gradually allots
Uncontainable emotions make it harder and harder to resist our physical temptations
Our first kiss replays in my mind causing overwhelming head to toe tingling sensations
You’re warming embrace leave footprints that linger when you are no longer near
Dreams become reality as our visions form clear
Lost in the seas treading uncharted waters of the familiar but new in every way
Intimacy demonstrates all that our hearts want to convey
Even before penetrations enter the equation
Mutual respect outweighs our undeniable lust filled persuasion
Excitement rushes in and my stomach does turns and flips
The world around falls in darkness illuminating my beating heart into an eclipse
I am ready to put forth the effort even though there is no guarantee
Because to be in your arms is the only place I want to be
The only place I feel safe and free
To give all of me
My friend, my love
And all else thereof

Enlighten

Enlighten your mind to the realities hidden in plain sight that is there for the reading
Don’t give into the lies the government and society spew, its purpose is misleading

The history books only tell us the sugar coated falsies they want us to believe
As we know Christopher Columbus didn’t discover shit; he enslaved, killed, raped and thieved

But yet his misdeeds are celebrated as a national holiday
Wars of greed are the foundation our history and country was built on, the lies being fed to lead our minds astray

My forefathers disgust me; the inhumane acts leave me tearfully angry and speechless
And if slavery’s indescribable horrors weren’t enough, whites still continue to oppress

Who the hell told them they were better than all other races, scared of what they didn’t know and couldn’t comprehend they overtook and controlled
Thinking 40 acres and a mule could make up for all they did and unselfishly stole

Fast forward a hundred years and society hasn’t made much progress, racism still breeds
Assonating Abraham Lincoln, JFK, MLK and Malcolm X over the fight for equality eliminating their dreams as the pavement their blood still bleeds

Global warming causes these tsunamis’, tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes and flash floods that are happening so often we are unsuspecting of what the next natural disaster could be
Just like Atlantis one day California will be taken over by the sea

Revelations is coming to pass as we speak and we don't even recognize His words coming to life right in front of our eyes
We are too blinded by what they want us to see we don’t realize that right under our nose constructing plans devise

The government is not what you think it is, who is really pulling the strings may shock some
In today’s music we are being brainwashed with messages disguised by the beat of the drum

The secret society won’t be so secret coming on a scheduled day soon
The world will be ran under a familiar but new moon

Society disregards all that our Father has taught us; Proverbs rules of life are being exploited
And all that is right is being avoided

God gave no mercies to the blatant wickedness of Sodom and Gomorrah
He warned us that this time around there will be no Ark hand-built by Noah

There will be no preconceived knowledge of His coming
The evil this earth is plagued with is increasingly growing at a rapid pace and in God’s eyes displeasing and unbecoming

As it stands today are you truly ready for Judgment Day
In front of Him, you cannot explain all of your sins away

Praying for forgiveness without repenting is purposely defiant
The Basic Information Before Leaving Earth (BIBLE) is our only definite all that we should be reliant

Yes, it was written by man but you best believe it was Godly inspired
And these laid out instructions are what is required

Prepare yourself now and live everyday as you are intended
Read for yourself and apprehend

To have the “fear of God” is a promising reality and from his wrath meant to frighten
His Word is our guide and for all purposes to enlighten

Desperation

She was desperate and turned tricks to feed her children and survive
On her back is the only skill she had mastered
Her father’s years of abuse had numbed her and she no longer felt alive
She married young to escape which as well ended in disaster
Suffered years of beatings, black eyes and broken bones
Until she got tired of being sick and tired
Unable to love another she remained alone
Using the only experiences she acquired
The ability to please men, she knew exactly what turned them on
They were easy to coax for what she wanted and needed
Her beauty and loving personality men were instantly drawn
Sincerity in her eyes would mislead
Until there was this one man she tried her best not to love
Pushed him away while he offered her the world along with his heart
But the feelings she felt she tried her best to dispose of
When he finally gave up she fell apart
Trying to give his love to another
But it was not who wanted her heart longed for
As well as every other
True feelings she continued to ignore
Spent her nights crying herself to sleep
Trying to push past the pain she felt
Horrors in her mind replayed on repeat
Denial made it impossible to get past the hands that were dealt
Lost in her thoughts
In her memories she remains trapped and consumed
Allowing them to haunt
She smiled so brightly that happiness was assumed
After years passed, he returned on bended knee
Her world seemed to radiate
But loving herself would finally set her free
And her pain would slowly eliminate

Frustrated

I don’t even watch the news anymore, tired of the sadness and senseless acts demonstrated
Then we have social media that is full of gossip and rumors with truths inflated
Wanna be gangsta’s sitting behind the computer keyboard thuggin
Attention seeking half naked women, dick tugging
Wondering why they only get approached by losers but asking where the real men are at
Ego’s take over and shit talking interludes but still scared to stand up and throw fists
Instead picking up a gun when they get offended and feel dissed
Murdering and robbing one another, thinking they have the right to take lives with their hands
Taking control and disregarding God’s plans
There is no longer any regard for human life
Women giving it up so easy no longer interested in the role of wife
Baby daddies not even attempting to find a job to help pay for the kids they chose to create
Leaving the single mothers to carry all of the weight
Real fathers being denied visitation
Even when they step up without hesitation
Baby momma’s using their kids as pawns
Self respect now days is dead and gone
Young boys out here with their ass hanging out all the while jean shopping in the women’s section
Facial tattoo’s and lip piercings with no ambitions or direction
Truths are lost and caught up in unforgiving lies
Rappers speaking nonsense while kids wrongfully idolize
Radio says it’s ok to disrespect women and words no longer need content as long as the beat sounds good
Keeping it real is bullshit and goes against our ancestors lessons, realities misunderstood
Young parents out here partying every night, leaving their children to raise themselves
Helping one another is almost obsolete, only truly caring about ourselves
Married and committed men never satisfied out here searching for that side piece of ass
Disrespecting and treating her as if she has no self worth or class
Working hard is out the door while women are fucking their way to the top
And for a petty warrant, they think it’s smarter to shoot at the cops for a routine traffic stop
Kids out here forgetting the value of education, instead they are smoking weed and sexing
Parents not even interested in their kids’ lives, too busy posting stats on facebook and sending naked pictures, calling it love texting
Working hard every day just to pay bills and it’s still not enough to get by
Assholes’ thinking it’s ok to beat her at his will and leave her with a broken heart and black eye
Real friends no longer exist because they are too busy worrying about how you can benefit them when they need
Too quick to leave you out in the cold and step right over you in the name of greed
People no longer know the meaning of loving unconditionally
Morals and values are no longer traditional
Parents too lazy to cook healthy meals not realizing McDonalds and XBOX is the reason their kids are over weight
I could go on and on but in the end, society’s lack of human interest will still leave me frustrated

Lost

Just to hear you open the door, my teeth would cringe
Each time you came back from your binge
The entire week you left me to fend for myself, not giving a shit
Your problem, you would never admit
So yea, I was beyond pissed
For that drug, I was totally dismissed
Got all up in your face
Angry and throwing punches all over the place
Until you picked me up and flung me across the room
Accusations of cheating you assumed
Your guilty conscious was taking over and distorting
From all that powder your nose was snorting
You raised your hand
My eye was where your fist would land
Knocking me back into the mirror, glass shattering in pieces
My girls witness in horror, their screaming increases
Please leave mommy alone, I hear
Just wanting to crawl into a hole and disappear
Not knowing how to approach them, not knowing what to say
Still embarrassed, in shock and feelings in disbelief and disarray
You run again, to your drug in shame
When your actions, you’re the only one to blame
How did we get to this point
I ran for His word to anoint
While you allowed yourself to be overtaken
Taking a life that could have been mine, His word forsaken
Where was this man I committed my life to
I was lost with nowhere to turn, having no clue what to do
Went into months of dark depression
Years of self destruction as an obsession
My soul mate took my soul
We were now lost, without restraint or self control



.

Just a memory...

You started something you were unable to finish
Now my thirst has ran dry unable to be replenished
Empty promises now null and void
My phone calls and texts you started to avoid
You vowed that your arms would catch me if I fell
My bruised heart has a different story to tell
Left alone without a coat in winters brisk cold
What was a perfect love story now remains untold
I unselfishly gave you the key to my heart
While you were racing to the finish line my feelings were stuck at the start
If you weren't ready, why did you allow me to love you
With prior warning you retreated leaving heartbreak to ensue
You claimed you just needed to step back for a moment but still at a distance false hopes compiled
Time has passed us by and we are still lingering in feelings of denial
Knowing what we had was real and worthwhile
My face now displays a reversed smile
We didn't know how to get past disagreements while we were still just learning one another
I know my feelings got overwhelming and started to smother
But I couldn't help falling for you, our connection was strong and intense
From day one we clicked even though we knew it didn't make sense
Since we hardly knew each other but the feelings were undeniably real
Caught up too soon scared away the feelings we still feel
I had to honor and respect your choice
But I still crave the sound of your voice
Every moment of every day I try to push past the urge to pick up the phone
Instead I lay in my bed hugging myself hurt and alone
I still smell and taste you but you in my vision my eyes no longer see
Tears stream from my eyes remembering what was but is now just a memory

Fallen

The walls are closing in as my sky suddenly falls
Darkness overcrowds as my vision blurs and clouds
Fighting away the webs that entrap, all the while my mind recaps
The memories that just won’t go away, tortures rewind and replay
An aurora of light storms enter my world and my mood conforms
My spirit in sadness taints the scene with each brush stroke my heart paints
Tears within bleed red, while the smile displayed is misread
Blood flow rushes straight to my head; losing my balance as the ground I imbed
Locked deep within my pain, trapped in the fetal position leaving pillow stains
Blocking out everyone around, while only silent cries defy sound
Rejecting love and concern, ducking at every turn
Feeling unworthy as I alienate, devouring suffering resonates
Consuming and overpowering heartaches, wanting to sleep and never again awake

Lust

Just being in the presence of your essence sends electric tingling sensations liquidating each one of my pores

Even before your touch an influx of vibes bursting the rush of my excitement floating in my own sea-like shores

Your kiss gravitates me to elevations of our naturally created utopia where we are the only two in existence

Undeniably breaking down and eliminating the trenches of any form of persistent resistance

Feverishly panting as sweat beads on my forehead form like an addict you are my new drug of choice

Sexy whispers sing melodies to my ears pulling me into your trance controlling me with the tone of your voice

Drunken by the scent released in the creases of your neck as your pheromones hypnotize

Looking into your soul trapped in your eyes as your thoughts instantly paralyze

Your finger tips gently feathering each inch of my skin has my natural flow pulsating

My eyes close as you enthrall in the visions of your touches affect leaving me captured as your drug has me sedating

Your lips caressing my clit while your tongue circulates each crevice thirst quenching as you drink from me

Heightened senses causing uncontrollable muscle spasms as to you I release all of me

Returning the favor with tongue swirls and tickling glides up and down in gentle rhythms as you gasp for air

Tasting the salt from your warmth trickle as explosions erupt leaving nothing to spare

Feeling your width expand to the walls of my innermost depths reaching the end of my rainbow to my buried treasures of gold

Our heartbeats in sync as breathless moans increase with each flip and turn of new pleasures unfold

The strength of your hardness has pulses convulsing in repeated orgasmic fires igniting

Splashing in and out of my wetness while my walls tighten persisting another release even more inviting

Pinching my nipples and massaging my clit with each stroke causing the inevitable chain reaction

Louder gratifications escape our lungs emerging mutual eruptions in a unison of lust filled satisfactions

Still I Remember

I still taste you on my tongue
Still breathe you within my lungs
I still see futures in my vision
Still tease my thoughts as I live in
I still feel your gliding touch on my skin
Still I embrace you within

I lie here reaching for you...remembering
Awakening to the warmth of your embrace
Tantalized by your excitement massaging my back
Glancing back to the smile of your lips
And the desires of your eyes
As you firmly grasp my hips
Welcoming the dawn of your sunrise
As I lean in so our lips can reconnect
Our tongues feverishly greet
Your gentle kisses feather my neck
Gliding over each inch of my back
Turning me so that we are now eye to eye
Repeating steps one through three
I escape a breathless sigh
Swirling your tongue hardening each nipple
As you cup and massage each breast
Slowly working your way past my stomach
Until you reach my sweet spot
I moan louder and louder
Until my voice leaves my lungs
And convulsions control my muscles

I still taste you on my tongue
Still breathe you within my lungs
I still see futures in my vision
Still tease my thoughts as I live in
I still feel your gliding touch on my skin
Still I embrace you within

As you slowly enter our secrete realm
Colors seem to take in a new brightness
As my eyes instinctively rolls back into my head
Visions start to blur
Breathing a new air of us
Attending to each and every curve
Each movement takes us to new depths
Clocks stand still the hands of time
Emotions entrap our minds
Lost in this space...of us
Ecstasy birthing an even deeper connection
Futures reflected
Embracing us mind, body and soul
Feeling every inch of you...within me
Yearning for more of you...even deeper within me
Tears stream from my eyes in pure pleasure
These sensations are beyond measure
New heights transformed with each stroke
Love within my soul you invoke
As we release in unison
Filling each other to the limits
Two joined together as one

I still taste you on my tongue
Still breathe you within my lungs
I still see futures in my vision
Still tease my thoughts as I live in
I still feel your gliding touch on my skin
Still I embrace you within

Encased

It's picture perfect clear to me what I am not to you
Or maybe I am but you can't accept and constantly deny the truth
Possibly your afraid to let go and give even a piece
Of you to another, scared to truly release
I just can't again take that chance
And disregard any thought of romance
I understand your not ready, so I stepped back
Maintaining my feelings and heart intact
But something keeps tugging at me not allowing me to let go
My emotions remain under lock and key not even for you to know
Distractions no longer distracting
It's only you I yearn for anything else is just acting
Just friends is all we can be
Disguising my heart so you can't see
Trying and failing at my own form of denial
Like my poker face is on trial
Smiling that familiar face
So instead I look as if my feelings are encased
This "you" and "I" is really me
And my battle with to love or not to be...

Past

I have finally gotten over you and removed any love that was buried deep inside
Now you want to come back with your apologies and hidden truths confide
Expressing love and regret for the lack thereof
But it's too late because I released any ounce of love
I could no longer live in torture that you continued to demonstrate
When I poured my heart out you couldn't relate
So now your words fall on deaf ears
It's a shame we wasted all those years
I knew there was someone else that was caught in our path but you still deny
So why could I even begin to hear your lies
Maybe your words are sincere but that I will never know
For me, I had to let completely go
I can no longer allow my heart to linger in a love that only resided in me
If your love was true, you never let me in close enough to see
Words have no meaning when efforts aren't defined
How could you let me give all of me while you remained confined
Lead me on just enough for me to clutch onto
Without giving me all of you
Now you want to go back and rehash old faded memories in search of what was
My love doesn't work like that, and my heart can't hold on just because
Your finally ready to give me what i deserve
I haven't been sitting around waiting on you keeping my love reserved
I have moved past what could never be
And realized my self worth, my values are now clearer to see
I have to keep the past in the past
And only give time to those who have a true chance to last

Lingering

Things just aren’t the same; I can’t quite put my finger on what happened
One day you were here clinging so tightly, then the next it was like we never were
Phone calls stopped being answered and texts ignored
Leaving my heart in limbo because you still haven’t called it off
Your words speak as if nothing is wrong; slowly killing me softly
Because I feel the change to the core of my soul
Piece by piece, moment by moment my heart is breaking in two
Missing what was and can never again be
Feeling alone, picking up the pieces of my heart shattered
Acting as if my world hasn’t came crashing down
Hanging onto the times we do have, wishing for more
Torturing myself with thoughts of where we went wrong
Whispering sweet nothings out of the blue
My heart skipping beats wishing your words were true
But I feel the truth and am still in denial
Trying to show you how much I care and need you
Lingering in your shadows trying to capture your love
Knowing deep down that I should just give up
But something in me just won’t allow me to
I want to believe and hope one day you will come back around
Breaking away and tucking my love back in my heart
But it has a mind of its own and is forbidding the thought
So I stay here looking over the edge, about to jump
Lingering in his love that once was

Love

I am tired of the random unfulfilling moments, shared by sweaty bodies just living in that moment
Emotionless kisses where only lustful passion exists, no true feelings consist
No special days, holidays or birthdays spent, when those moments pass not caring where they went
Those purposeless interactions only serve as temporary distractions
What I want rises way above, it's that thing called love
Anything else is time wasted, missing out on love tasted
If we aren't working toward something than we mean nothing
It takes true courage to let go and allow emotions to flow
Giving your heart to a person and embracing vulnerability to lurk in
To give your all, comfortable enough to completely fall
Into those blissful seconds where time no longer has presence
Finding the muse of your smile, making each breath worthwhile
Winds brushing your face, feeling weightlessly like your flying in space
That place where clocks stop, and the sound of their voice makes your heart drop
Sweet rhythms kiss your ears while tears of joy your soul adheres
Being ready to mind, body and soul claim you and shout on rooftops without shame
The one that is there when the world outside is in utter despair
The one who is willing to sacrifice picking and choosing battles despite
Loving that person for who they are and all they are, willing to stand strong when reasoning is afar
Not wanting to change their once cute but now annoying habits, instead embracing and look past it
You know that love that defies all expectations, clutching your inner being and needs no explanation
That love that is unexplainable, that hold that locks in and is no longer restrainable
Where passion is undeniable, you know that love that is always reliable
Stop being afraid, allowing fears and doubts to invade
When all you have to do is let go and in all truths let love know

Caged

Words unspoken from my lips
While feelings remain within tightly locked
Nightmares of cherished moments woundingly haunt
Unable to release pent up emotions that increasingly bleed
A caged bird singing muffled melodies
Expressions no longer embodied
Smiles nonchalantly hide permeating pain
Once freely opened doors slammed shut
Displaying a strong defense convincingly unfazed
While tears drop only from my heart
Expectations reserved; hopes deflated
Yearning continues silent screams
Intensity fades into numbness
Sadness shadows the stars glow

Darkness

Darkness shrouds as a black cloud hangs over my head
Inside feeling completely dead
No longer looking at the road ahead
Paralyzed by past memories instead
Like a ghost haunting
Sadness torturing and taunting
Stuck in deep thoughts teasingly flaunting
Crippled in pain consuming my mind
Trapped in lost moments of time
Unable to find the joy that once was
Reliving feelings just because
Yearning for what can never again be

Trapped

Just existing in this weaved web we call life
Entangled in thoughts trapped in my mind
Searching for purpose lost in answers
Plagued in disappointments and misunderstandings
Going through the routines and motions
Feeling numbness from head to toe
Emotions locked deep inside
No longer any point of releasing
Desires fading with the blowing wind
Motivations ceasing to exist
Consumed pain entraps my heart
Not allowing interference
Standing strongly on guard
Detained in my own world
Blocking out everyone and everything around
Sounds become muffled by my inner screams
Trapped in my own existence

Missing you, missing us

I sit here alone with my thoughts
Missing you, missing us
Those days we couldn’t get enough
The yearning that burned deep inside
Just the sound of your voice made my heart flutter
On the phone all day and every hour of the night
Sacraficing sleep to talk about everything or nothing at all
The newness of exploration
The anticipation of looking into each others eyes
The warmth of your arms surrounding
Waking up next to you, smiling smiles never felt before
Feeling feelings I almost forgot existed
Getting to know each others depths
Discovering each like and dislike
How could some feelings not be caught up from times shared
We decided to take just one step back and put guards back up
To analyze and over analyze from a short distance
And instead take one step at a time
Trying to figure each other out
Without putting too much at risk
Pumping the breaks before they got out of control and overwhelming
But that’s almost like putting candy in front of a child
Because the desires are still felt
The yearning only strengthens
The wanting still pierces
I am missing what we were
Wondering if we will ever make it back to this place
Missing you, missing us