Performance

Good Morning All! I have been unable to get on my blog lately. Sooo much has been going on. I see when I am able to post from my phone app, my followers are sliming down. I am also not able to return the love as much. 

The pics above were from my Poetry Reading Saturday night. I did soooooo much better this time. I read slower, learned how to use the mic :) and everyone was able to hear every word. I was nervous, but did not allow that to affect my performance.

Stage Fright

Its not easy to get up here
With an audience so near
Eyes focused on me awaiting the message I am to deliver
To my core I feel a shiver
The pit of my stomach is in knotts
From the spotlight I am starting to see spots
That lump in my throat forming
My embarassment of performing
But I am making yet another attempt to overcome my fears
And in front of others sharing my tears
Friends and family for years didn't even know I wrote
Words that only to the paper I spoke
My hearts desires written in words that define me as a whole
Demonstrating the love that seeps from the depths of my soul
As well as detailing some of my dissapointments that led to anger
Up here, sharing a part of me in front of strangers
This mic extremely terrifies me
As much as I try to hide its obvious to see
No matter how well I know the piece, my mind goes blank
I bring a back -up reference, so I won't have to think
Because poetry is my lifes eyesight
If I can only get over this damn stage fright

Affects of AIDS

It all started with a cough that just wouldn't go away
He still hadn't even admitted he was gay
He felt sick every day, he knew something wasn't quite right
He didn't have the strength anymore to fight this fight
After confirmation, then came deep depression
His family finally heard his heartfelt confessions
Depression took over and consumed
His worst fears were a reality and no longer assumed
He gave up hope completely
He was grieving inside deeply
Seclusion was his first defense
Total lies his lover told were the greatest offense
He now needed assistance with moms care
The pain was more then he could bare
His body was covered with a horrible rash
Continuously cursing at everyone, breaking moms heart with each lash
He didn't have the energy to get out of bed
It caused extreme pain to even move his head
Thresh would build up in his throat causing him to choke
His only enjoyment was his coffee and to smoke
His friends didn't understand and was scared to come around
Feelings of abandonment were profound
He lost so much weight that he looked like a skeleton covered with skin
He felt as if he were being punished for his sins
He refused his medication because he no longer wanted his life prolonged
This world he never felt as if he really belonged
He was always teased and tortured his entire childhood
It was obvious he was gay just by the way he stood
In his final days he told mom he saw God and that He needed him
He said the flowers in His garden were so amazingly beautiful even down to the stems
But he didn't want to leave his mother here
She told him his time to leave was near
She would miss him dearly but couldn't stand to see him suffer another day
Saying goodbye to her son wasn't easy finding the right words to say
Watching the constant torture was driving her insane
After three long years of suffering and pain
I knew he was gone at 5am, as soon as I heard the phone ringing
It sounded just like the angels were singing
He was now pain free and in a better place
Now life without him was not easy to face