Wednesday, August 31, 2011


Confusion invades and brings me doubt
Shedding light on everything I am unclear about
Causing me to be indecisive
As well as apprehensive
I want to learn to trust my heart
And finish what I start
Maybe I am more “in love” with being loved
And scared to live life feeling unloved
Still learning how to love and give my all
With confidence to stand tall
Instead of pulling people in, just to run away
Allowing my heart to be easily led astray
Knowing I need to let go
And take things slow
In order to make better decisions
To see beyond my line of vision
Just when I think I am healed
Someone comes from left field
Making my heart skip a beat
Forgiving me for my deceit
But I am still unsure
If I am strong enough to endure
Every time I try to move on
My attention is drawn
For a love that still pulsates my being
While doubts have my heart disagreeing
Not sure which way to turn
To receive the love I yearn
Trying to see clearly through this delusion
And break free from this state of confusion

Hello All! WHY of WHY does his voice STILL make my heart skip a beat? The second I attempt to move you, he is right there...Why does he have such a hold on my heart? That I just cant break free of...

Friday, August 26, 2011

Earthquake + Hurricane/Tropical Storm

Good Morning All! Things have been quite crazy in MD this week, hince me not posting. First of all Tuesday around 2pm while sitting at my desk the entire building started to shake. Mind you I am in a really old wooden bldg that should be condemed already...Its so bad that there are areas in the hall that we avoid so we wont fall through on a our building shook way harder than a normal brick building would have. And I have never felt that feeling ever before. We arent used to that on the East Coast at ALL...Almost makes me never want to even travel to Cali. Scared the mess out of me forreal, esp not even knowing what the heck it was. I am still a little shaken but have a poem brewing from that expereince...Still pissed I sat in 3 hours of traffic that day because of people in a panic.

Now, Saturday evening we are looking out for Hurricane Irene that is supposed to gives us a tropical storm and flash floods. So, this has just been a very scary week all together.

I hope that everyone has a great weekend, be safe and blessed!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Eyes Wide Open

Clarity in my vision
Clear and concise decisions
Knowing exactly what I want and need
From lessons learned, I now heed
Voice of reasoning in my ears
No need to front, everything is as it appears
Taking control of my destiny
My worth has endless density
To your words and actions, I listen
Everything I need to know, is given
Smarter with my choices
Adhering to the inner voices
Recognizing ill intentions from the door
Knowing I deserve more
My future has already been chosen
Eyes wide open

Good Morning All! This is how I am feeling this morning...Tired of the bs...Flipping the page...

Monday, August 22, 2011

Hearts Align

Your touch absorbed within
Soaked in the depths of my skin
Your kisses make my heart smile
Making each second worthwhile
Your voice calms my mood
My spirit relaxed and subdued
Your hugs are warming and secure
Sublime moments always allure
Your scent awakens my senses
Natural emotion dispenses
Your eyes reflect truth and sincerity
Ensuing doubtless clarity
Feelings felt, I can no longer deny
Your love leaves me high
Your lips form poetry to my ears
While drying my tears
As our hands intertwine
Our hearts perfectly align

Good Monday Morning! I am feeling a lil sexy this morning :)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Through the Fire

I have been through the fire
Made plans from this earth to expire
I experienced homelessness, rape(s), and molestations
That attempted to crack my foundation
But what my father did hurt worse than any other
I went through two divorces and battled lifelong depression
But in the end, I have learned more than one lesson
I got off track but found my way back
Gaining the strength I lacked
My daughters gave me my motivation
But God’s Word prevented total desolation
And gave me back the fight and faith I required
To survive through the fire

Good Morning All! This one came from the heart...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


Hold me tight and secure
And with your eyes allure
Your sincerity that is within
And the sexiness in your grin
Smiling from the inside out
Not falling victim to doubt
Enjoying now without expectations
Releasing any limitations
Open and allowing a natural flow
No explanations to owe
Cherishing each moment spent
Comfortably and content

Good Morning All! So many people put too many expectations on things...This reflects just allowing things to happen naturally, and whatever happens...happens...This is something I have had to work on over the years myself...So its a lot more fun just chilling out...and accepting whatever comes...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


The yearning and aching
My heart continuously re-breaking
At the thought of my actions
My moment of distraction
Succumbing to weakness
Not appreciating your uniqueness
As the keeper of my heart
I know It’s my fault that we are apart
And that nothing can take back what’s done
But this heartache I can’t seem to outrun
This longing within my soul
That only your love can console

Good Morning ALL! I just recently talked to my ex boyfriend (Navy) and he has been reminding me of how badly I hurt him...Which is so hard to hear...My heart breaks at the thought of him hurting...He is obviously still feeling it...But yet, at the same time he misses me...and cant stop loving me...After I hurt him over and over and over (Which he NEVER deserved) how could he STILL have love for me? Why does he not hate me? I was insecure, and couldnt wait for my Navy man...So this poem reflects the heartache from all that I have done...that I cannot take back...

Friday, August 12, 2011



Not a moment goes by
That my body doesn't crave
The way our tongues tie
Tasting each second memory saved
Soft kisses on my neck and lips
I cant even pretend to resist
Pure love sips
Drunken passion twisted
Tingling sensation
Floating high
Loves creation
Nothing denied
Everything kissable
Ecstasy irresistible

Hello ALL! I am posting this because maybe I kinda miss this feeling...I am feeling sexy, but dont have the person to feel this way about...But thats totally cool with me! I am enjoying the "now"...There is someone...but I am def taking my time to get to this level...He doesnt even know all the barriers that have to be broken to get to my heart...

Thursday, August 11, 2011



Forming a plan to devise
A smooth lateral transition
My strategies I will advise
To accomplish the target mission
My capabilities will go above and beyond
Anything ever expected
Forming lasting relationships as I correspond
Honored to be the one selected
Now it’s my time to shine and uplift
To demonstrate perfection
My decisions will charge each shift
Time to share my ideas and projections

Good Morning All! I tried to write this morning but nothing seemed to form for me...My thoughts are scattered...I am reposting this because this is where my mind is...Focused on what all I have to do...I am posting as a reminder for me to get my focus back...

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Releasing my heart
Of anything that doesn’t fit
Into the visions I have planned

Releasing feelings and hurt
To love and accept
The good and bad

Releasing words from my mouth
With only truth and sincerity
No longer biting my tongue

Releasing negativity and drama
Not feeding into nonsense
Because I am a lady in every sense

Releasing anyone who doesn’t deserve
To receive all the love inside me
I am worthy of cherishing

Releasing to set free
All that is not for me
Weights lifted, rejoicing in release

Good Morning All! This is sort of a rant...Last night I did some releasing...I honestly told him the details of me moving on, eventhough it hurt him to the core...I had to be straight up, because there was nothing he could say or do to make my feelings towards him change...Now I feel like a dead weight has been lifted off of my chest and out of my life...Now I am looking toward a bright future...Heading back in the direction I am destine for...

Monday, August 8, 2011

Love Lost

After your deception I am unable to trust
My heart is not forgiving of the unjust
My barriers have now been raised
And any effort to repair goes unfazed
Once those lines have been crossed
I can’t regain what has been lost
Anything else now will be time wasted
Love can never again be tasted

Good Morning All! I wrote this just to post on facebook to let someone know just how I feel lol...I give a fair chance...I tried to show with my actions but he still isnt getting the hint...I have already moved on ;) and no longer chose to pretend...

Thursday, August 4, 2011


With closed eyes my visions are clear
Almost like a dream he appears
Holding me tight and whispering in my ear
Truths in his eyes give me comfort that he is sincere

Hesitations and doubt quickly dismiss
Feeling the passion with each kiss
Creating the depth of an oceanic abyss
On times yet to be shared in my mind I reminisce

Good Morning All! I had no idea what to write until a text gave me this inspiration :)

PS: Anyone who has a blog that I have to log into, I am unable to comment. But this doesnt mean that I am not reading...Do people really get that much spam on here that they need someone to log in just to comment :(

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


I must admit I am intrigued to know more
Than the exterior décor
Physical attraction initially caught our attention
Curious to discover each level of your dimension
Enjoying the current conversation exchange
Looking forward to plans being arranged
And time spent getting to know
How deep our friendship is able to go
Feeling vibes brought by mutual sensuosity
I am intrigued with strong curiosity

Good Morning All! This write was a little forced today. It is how I am feeling right at this very moment about a certain someone...But since there arent really many feelings attached in the begining of getting to know a person, it was hard for me to relay the vibes that are flowing within me. I dont want to make any assumptions about anyone or even get hopes up. I like to take my time and enjoy day by day and whatever happens, happens naturally...

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


We rise up just to fall back down
Daily trying our best not to drown
Having that one that’s by your side
Holding you tight through this roller coaster ride
When life knocks you from every angle thought of
Providing strength and joy only given through His love
Makes every second of every day worth the fight
Finding true peace and happiness despite

Good Morning All!  I just wanted to remind everyone, that despite it ALL...He will carry you when you cannot walk...I wanted to do a sensual, sexy piece today because that is kinda how I am feeling...But these words spilled through my pen...So an inspirational day it is :) enjoy!

Ok, I did a quick name change of this blog...I got tired of "Inside Jstar's Head" because its not technically true...My words are not even a thought...They flow directly from my heart onto paper...With no reason or rhyme at times...or even understanding...So until I come up with something catchy...Poetically Jstar it is :)

Monday, August 1, 2011


Your kisses melt me into a liquidation form
To your body I conform
Our hearts beating in sync
From lustful passion we drink

Ok, I know this is really short...but its kinda all I wanted to say...You know that kiss, that words just cant describe...This is what I am talkin about...