Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fear

Dreams of happiness seem so far out of reach
Even though these lessons are to teach

Maybe I don’t want to learn
Maybe I want true love to return

I want to learn how to love again
Learn how to give in

Give all of me to the one that deserves
Instead of being the one that only observes

Happiness all the while I envy
The pain deep inside that no one else can see

Not allowing love in
Constantly reliving where I have been

Can’t get past these tears
Can’t get past my fears

Instead holding my heart discreetly
Unable to let go and love completely

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Monday, July 28, 2008

Stressed

Tossing and turning in my bed
So much going on in my head

I can’t sleep without stressing
Constantly assessing

Sometimes I just want to forget
But there is too much to regret

Since I can’t turn back the clocks
I minds well unlock the locks

Set my mind free
Agree to disagree

But sometimes that is easier said than done
Some things just cannot be undone

What can set my heart at ease
I want my fears permanently seized

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Our Chance

You are a very special person to me
Anything your heart requires I will fulfill indeed

There is so much love inside me that I want to share with you
Our love growing to the fullest is long over due

I have known you half of my life
As a child I longed to be your wife

But now just your love will suffice
Even though my words may be concise

There is so much more I want to show
So much more you need to know

To feel my love flowing through your pores
From day one, I have always been all yours

Give me the chance
And allow our romance to enhance

Penetrating the core
Releasing all of our love to pour

Into each others soul
Allowing love to completely console

Let’s finish what we started so long ago
By taking our love to the next plateau

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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Healing

Scars leaving stains
Only dried tears remain

Still hurting deep inside
There is no one I can confide

Not sure how to move on
Even though the cause of my pain is gone

I still feel the remnants of the pain
All my love and trust has went down the drain

When will my rain end
When will my heart mend

Only I can heal myself
Need to put all my feelings on the shelf

And move on to bigger and better things
And see what life brings

Erasing these stains that are causing so much pain
No more tear drops staining my window pane

From looking out the window watching the clouds
Day dreaming, no more pain leaving shrouds

Due to life’s dealings
Through all of the pain there is healing

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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Battle

Battling inner demons trying to posses
All of my skeletons, I confess

Mainly to myself, only sometimes to others
Without completely letting in another

Into my space
Memories cannot be permanently erased

Through thoughts and the pain I feel
By dealing with this pain I can heal

So that I can conquer
These feelings into true happiness, I can concur

I am the only one who can control
The feelings locked deep into my soul

Only my spirit can rattle
These demons only I can battle...

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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Miss you Joe...

RIP Joe...You are gone...but never forgotten....Its hard to believe that its been 11 years since God took you from my life...Everytime I get sad or upset, I miss talking to you. I miss you taking care of me when I made dumb mistakes. I miss my big brother....Your son is practially a grown man now, he ressambles you so much. I just wish he remembered you, the way I do...You meant the world to me then eventhough I didnt show it, and do more now than then. What did you expect, we are brother and sister who are supposed to fight and disagree. I remember this day 11 years ago. When I got the call at 4 AM, I knew before I picked up the phone. At first I felt a sigh of relief because you were pain free, but then the selfishness kicked in and I missed you...Me and you were so much alike thats why we disputed. But then again we were also sooo different. Eventhough people still tell me to this day that we look like we could be twins. There is not a day that goes by that you are not on my mind, you will always remain in my heart. I will go visit your resting place this evening...and reminisce...I got sooo much more I could say but I will save that for the converstaions I still hold with you regularly.....

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