Thursday, May 27, 2010

Character Sketch-Edited

I edited my Character Sketch, please re-read and tell me if this flows better!

Standing on a DC street corner, praying no one would stop, but desperately needing someone to.  Her stomach growls were getting louder, but not quite humble enough to ask for help.  Her spirit hungry and pockets empty.  The shine of brake lights almost blinded, taking her mind to a place that she never wanted to go.  Reality was now in front of her, negotiating pricing and services all the while trembling within.  Once in the car, hearing the door slam, she remembered her father.  The things he did to her, the things he made her do.  Fear took over her mind.  Then flashbacks of the rape by the boy she trusted as a young teen, holding her down, cries for help ignored and disregarded.  Now fear took over-scared to back out terrified of what he would do to her if she changed her mind.  No choice remained but to go through with it.  They parked in a dark alley and got out of the car.  She couldnt face him, she couldnt face herself.

Leaning on the hood of the car she told him, "only from the back."

Handing him a condom, she pulled down her tight blue jeans just enough for him to enter her.  Closing her eyes and pretending this was not happening.  Tears streamed down her face.  Her soul was bleeding, attempting to seperate her mind from her physical actions.  Thank goodness it didnt last long.  She then pulled her pants up and walked almost drunkenly down the alley.  Barely able to walk in her heels; the trembling was overwhelming.  No longer able to control the muscles in her legs, she felt weak.

She walked back to the spot where she was supposed to meet her so-called boyfriend.  Knowing he would be upset because she did nothing that was prearranged.  She called him, and he was yelling in her ear of how scared he was for her.  Telling her that he had been up and down the streets looking for her, scared for her life.  She wanted to run, but had nowhere to go.

As he pulled up, he demanded her to get in the car.  And started cursing her out about the money when he found out that she accepted only half of what she was supposed to ask for.  He took the money that she just sold her soul for and stopped the car in the middle of the street.  He yanked her out of the car with a fist full of her hair, pulling her earring out and she heard it fall to the pavement right before her face landed.  Screaming for help, but no one came to her rescue.  Seeing rage in his eyes that she never knew existed.  Trying to remember the love his eyes once displayed.  He got back in the car and sped off circling the block then yelled at her to get in the car.  After she did, he beat her in the face, blood gushing from her lip.  One hit after another, not only bruising her face but her spirit as well.  He punched her repeatedly for over an hour, while still driving his car.  Her head kept hitting her window and felt as if it would explode.  Wishing he would just go ahead and kill her, she was hurting inside worse than the physical pain she was feeling.  Ending it all was something she thought about every day, but didnt have the courage to do.

The last words she heard him speak as she got out the car, "I did this because I love you Nicole, and was scared to lose you."


Nicole sat observing the variety of different people in the busy train station.  Wearing sunglasses; trying to hide her black and swollen eyes.  She watched families with smiles on their faces, couples looking as they were truly in love, children tightly grasping thier mother's hand.  She was deperately missing her daughters, crying on the inside while the smiles on her face hid the pain.  Scared to be alone, or in the streets, this would not be her first night sleeping at this train station.  As she sat reflecting, realizing these consequences were recourses for her actions.  She had no one to blame but herself.  She was lost from herself, lost from her true potential.  Homeless, to no fault but her own and the choices she made.  She lost her daughters, her husband, her job, her home, and everything that ever mattered, or what she thought mattered at the time.  Her reactions reflected desperation, her need for survival, her desire to overcome.  Attempting to find strength to not give up completely; this seemed like the easier way out right now.  She was disgusted and blaming herself.  Her situation, her actions were no longer her.  She did not want to live, praying for God to end her misery and suffering.  She walked to the pay phone and called her mother with tears filling her eyes.  Finally-deciding to get on the next train to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina leaving DC, leaving her daughters in order to get herself together.

Revised Character Sketch

Hey, go back and re-read my character sketch.  I edited it, so tell me if it reads better????

Monday, May 24, 2010

Prom Pic

Good Morning All! I dont have anything to really post poetry-wise....I am doing a character sketch for my writing class.  So I will post that once I write that, although I did start :)  But a 700-750 word character sketch is quite difficult.  The above picture was taken from my camera phone of Tanaesha right before going to prom.  Once I develop and scan the others, I will post.  She enjoyed herself :)  and the pics of them both are so cute...He is almost like a son to me, so seeing them both going to prom, together....almost made me cry :)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Award-Thanks Jingle and Lord Emmanuel...Passing to Dulce

I recieved this amazing award from Jingle and Lord Emmanuel.  I am humbly honored!!!!  Almost speechless!!  I write, like no one will ever read....I write from places I didnt know existed....I sit down to write with an idea in mind, but my words start flowing and always takes me in a totally different direction...

Please visit Jingle and Lord Emmanuel, for their writing is simply AMAZING!  Their words touch me, in ways they will never know....So positive and uplifting

I am passing this award onto Dulce at Sweeter Poetry.  Her words, touch my soul, my inner being, bring me joy, allow me to feel her sadness...Words cant express the feeling that reading her words gives me.  She is very consistant with fresh poetry.  Please stop by and follow her poetry, if you have not yet been introduced...Dulce, you were the first that came to mind...I truly enjoy your work and am so grateful that you share...

I decided this poem I wrote last month....It describes my writing....From the depths of my heart....

Sugar Coated

Thoughts continously flowing
In my head
Pouring out of my soul
Like sweet sugar
Coating my words
Sprinkling your heart
With purple rain drops
Comforting your spirit
Calming you doubts
Dismantling your fears
Your mind drifitng
Into my world
Heeding my lessons
Feeling my passion
The heat rising
From my veins
The steadiness
Of my heart beat
Compassion for pains
My journey
To inner happiness
Presenting my life
Through my words
Sugar coated

Good Morning

Good Morning All!  I have nothing to post today, I did yesterday but was too busy at work to write it and it slipped off of my lips...I am off 2morrow getting my daughter ready for prom :)  So I am going to repost a poem I wrote about her going to Homecoming this year...Have a great and blessed weekend!


Rolling her long silky brown hair
Applying make up to prepare

For her junior homecoming
Looking at the woman she is becoming

Her dress hugging her curves
Hoping her future boyfriend treats her as she deserves

Her first time wearing heels
Knowing its excitement that she feels

Posing as a grown woman with such innocence
The young child I am watching transform I reminisce

She is preparing for the world not knowing all its horror
She will make mistakes as she explores

I am there to help her learn and teach her how to get back on her feet
Overcoming lies and deceit

She has only exprienced her first heartbreak
Discovering so called friends are fake

So much more to learn
Knowing she is smart and will make a man earn

His right to her heart
Giving her strength to overcome if or when they grow apart

It seems like only yesterday I was changing her diapers
Now its the tears falling down her cheecks I wipe

Wishing her more success than I experienced
Praying my mistakes have influenced

Her future decisions
I am sure that her life will be more than I can currently envision

My precious baby is no longer a child
I sent her off to her dance and within I smiled

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Rain Drops

Rain Drops

Rain drops kissing my forehead
While tear drops from my eyes are shed
In need of a mental cleansing
Self doubt lingering
Doors are opening but I still doubt
Is this my chosen route
What if I dont succeed
Is the devil attempting to mislead
Praying for guidance
Relief in my finances
Mental stresses released
Goals increased
Fears consoled
Rain drops cleansing my soul

Monday, May 17, 2010


Good Morning All!  I hope that everyone had a great weekend :) I did....I took my youngest daughter and my neice and nephew to the zoo since my oldest daughter was at a birthday party.  Then we went prom shopping.  My oldest daughter Tanaesha was invited to the prom with a boy she has known since kindergarten and he was in the first grade....They have had crushes on eachother since then but play the "flirting" game...So it was only fitting that he invited her of all people...His family and mine lived on the same street so we all know and love eachother very much!  His mom, sister (My daughters best friend) went shopping yesterday.  Her God Mother gave her a beautiful dress so we only had to shop for shoes, a shaw and accesories...And his mom paid for it all!  Tanaesha is almost like a daughter to her and doing this made her so excited.  She even offered to get her nails done the day of...I am going to be doing the hair and make up...Not sure if yall know but I did take 3 years of cosmetology but never got my license because after doing two girls hair, the last thing I want to do is hair :) 

Another thing, I started my writing class saturday...This class was God sent...This is EXACTLY what I needed to publish...Its a two month class, but he is going to push us to be the best writers we can become...and he is going to teach us how to make money from writing :)  He is not only a Pulitzer Prize winner, he is a columnist for the Miami Herald...Has been writing for longer than I have been on this earth :)  Therefore I am so grateful to learn from such a talented man...His work is simply amazing...

This poem was inspired by church service sunday and then confirmed on the radio on my way to work.  Right now I NEED a miracle to make it through...So I am going to step out and go get it :)  I posted the two lovely ladies (My lil cousins) because for one they were just in my email this morning but these are two miracle babies....My cousin and her husband were married 5 years and couldnt conceive after trying vigorously...And then she FINALLY got pregnant...Then a year later again :)  So meet Tessa and Terra....


Miracles come true with faith and trust
When life leaves you in disgust

Step out and believe He will carry you
But taking that first step is what you have to do

No matter what it is you are in need of
Be assured in His love

Stop being fearful
And step out in your miracle

Friday, May 14, 2010

Why I? & Behind Closed Doors-Guest Poet-Tanaesha

Good Morning All!  TGIF!!!!!  These are the poems that my daughter wrote that I promised yesterday(FYI she will only be 17 June 29th, so this is words from a young heart).  She told me not to post Behind Closed Doors because its really personal to her, but I didnt listen...That poem speaks to me as I am sure speaks to everyone else as well.  We have ALL been there...And can relate...

Why I

Solid calls
Days gone
Months passed
Wondering why
Hearts break
People cry
People lie
People cheat
But why do
People love
People care
Or some people dont even dare
No solid calls
Days gone
Months passed
And I still wonder
Why I

Behind Closed Doors

In public
I show no signs of sadness
With my friends I am the happiest
I'm silly and goofy
I stand tall and brave
As if I am over you
Yes, it has been months

But behind closed doors
I still cry
Not even shy
To show the emotions inside
That I dare not hide

Behind closed doors
I do still miss you
Thinking of you constantly
Every thought of you driving me crazy
Cant push away this feeling of loneliness

Behind closed doors
I listen to songs that make me cry
Torturing myself with every word
I think I just need to move on
People telling me that your probaly
Not even thinking about me anymore

But behind closed doors
I just wanna know why
Why do I still think of you
Why is it do hard
For me to let you go
Why do I still cry
Why do I
Still love you
Behind closed doors

Both Poems Were Written By: Tanaesha Leak

Thursday, May 13, 2010

His Light

His Light

When the clouds are too thick to see the light
Keep your goals in sight

Be prepared to trip and fall for your vision is not yet clear
Find that strength to persevere

No matter what road blocks are in the way
In the good and the bad, dont forget to kneel before Him and pray

Be thankful for where life has brought you thus far
Even when the lessons learned leave scars

Stop making wishes over a four leaf clover
For it aint over, until God says its over

He will provide all that you require
And not always everything you desire

Have faith that it will all work out in the end
Just the way He intends

Allow His love in your heart to reside
His light is our constant guide

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Good Morning All!  Sorry, nothing new...Not in the mood to write at the moment...But stay tuned...I feel some stuff rumbling in my heart...Just not ready to release...This one is a repost, but it is suiting to my current mood....I just bought an "I Love Me" shirt and am wearing it today...Didnt feel like taking a pic of myself today although I do look fly :) lol....So I thought I would add these pics to my blog :)

FYI-I added a few new pics to my picture page and will do so as I take new pics...


Lying in my bed listening to the rain drops
Wishing they would never stop

Not wanting to leave these covers
Hiding and not wanting to be discovered

Enjoying being alone
Everything else can be postponed

Taking personal quality time
Not worrying about deadlines

Completely focused on me
And what it is that I need

Actually loving me in totality
Door knocks bring me back to reality

Ignoring everyone else
Only going by my own impulse

Being alone is actually not that bad
No one to get on my nerves and make me mad

Relaxing with everyone out of reach
Listening to my own inner speech

Not depending on anyone's guarantee
Discovering that I do really love me

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Good Morning All!  I decided against the red but went for the cut and I already had three different variations of brown so I just add some blonde :)  Ya like??  This poem is a repost but it was fitting for today :)


Fresh hair cut and color; make up looking fierce
Eyes deep enough to pierce

My fresh black pumps with the newly manicured toes out
Looks are deceiving; inside I am overcoming self doubt

Tight, sexy dark blue jeans with the red low cut top
Making all the on-looking men's jaw drop

Cute baby face on the outside
But who wants to really know the complete inside

Short in height and small in frame
Does anyone care whats really in my brain

Focused and professional, but always real
When will someone truly care how I really feel

Smiling face in front of the others
Can we truly trust one another

Not imprssed unless they can really connect mentally
And not for satisfaction that only lasts momentarily

The eyes are the key to ones soul
Look deep inside that person and see their true role

Everyone in life is not for keeps
Every night I singly sleep

Choosing not to settle for less than I deserve
My full heart I have chosen to reserve

Its not in my physical description, but whats in my heart
My inner beauty is my true work of art

Monday, May 10, 2010

I Want It!

This cut and color is BAD....I want my hair cut like this without the blue...And I want both sides to be the same length...I was growing my hair because someone asked me to...But now that he is out of the picture...I want something fresh :)  What do yall think????

Loneliness-Reunion Update


I am so tired of being alone
Tired of feeling like I am on my own

Tired of waking up to an empty bed
Wondering whats ahead

My standards are high as ever
But I dont want to be by myself forever

I want to feel the feeling of love
And no longer the lack thereof

I want someone to share my thoughts and dreams
Nothing is ever how it seems

Being alone does has its benefits
But it also has its limits

I miss being made love to all night
And all those feelings that excite

I miss hearing the words "I love you"
That kind of love that makes you feel brand new

But I am not willing to accept just anything
Definatelt not looking for a meaningless fling

Been there, done that many times before
But my feelings I can no longer ignore

Lately I have constantly pushed good men away
Terrified of being betrayed

I know I need to let my guards down some
Or I will allow my loneliness to succumb

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

LOVE-1 Corinthians 13

Good Morning All!  I have nothing to post that I have written and really wanted to share another scripture that gave proof of God's exisitence that spoke volumes to me while I was studying.  I thought it was in 1 Corinthians but I cannot seem to find it.  But found this one fitting to share :)  It speaks volumes about love and why it is so important.  I am sad, 2morrow will be my last Discipleship class for session 1, and session 2 wont start until September.  But the ladies in my group have all decided that we will remain in close contact and have womans nights once a month :)  I will be having a graduation from my class but not sure when yet....

On another note, I just signed up for writing classes at church :)  I am SOOO excited!  Dr Pitts is a well renouned Pulitzer Prize winner and I am excited to get this opportunity to learn from such an amazing writer.  Also, I am looking forward to our Mothers Day breakfast at church with my girls :) this saturday.

Love-1 Corinthians 13

1-If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2-If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

3-If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.4-Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5-It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6-Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7-It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8-Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are no tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9-For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10-but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11-When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought I like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put all childish ways behind me. 12-Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13-And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

In Love

In love with love
The idea of love
The illustrations of love
The feeling of love
The fullness of love
The comfort of love
The courage of love
The sexiness of love
The sensuality of love
The electricity of love
The enrichment of love
The illusions of love
The "In Love" of love

Monday, May 3, 2010


Good Morning All!  I wrote this one and the one I will post 2morrow Friday evening. I guess I just was on a writing frenzy ...Over the weekend I sorted all of my poetry in chronological order telling the stories of my life.  I am making preparations towards publishing :)  Now, I need to go through an edit...Something I have yet to do.  I barely even re read what I write after its written.  And I only have about maybe 10 more poems to write in order for my story to be complete :)  I am getting excited!  My weekend was great and very busy.  My girlfriend came in town from Charlotte.  I went to my ministers (The teacher of my Discipleship Class) birthday party and had an AMAZING time...I missed the fight entirely, but I heard that I didnt miss much.  I was rooting for Mosely because Mayweather talks too much...Now he is really going to be talkin smack...

Fridays' poem "His Voice", I have gotten a lot of responses about it being erotic.  Its about a general phone call, the feelings that he gives me being away but calling and hearing his voice.  Its actually not sexual at all, I was just describing the electric feeling of hearing the voice of the person you love.  The effects I feel all over my body by him just merely saying "hello".  I actually had no sexual thoughts in my head as I wrote it.  Yea, its sexy and flirting...But it was just describing love...I guess I am just a sensual/flirty person by nature (I am a Sagittarius) and maybe that comes across in my poetry.  I think the part that got everyone is "Vibrations felt through my thighs"  I was talking about the electrical vibrations felt from head to toe but thighs rhymed with butterflies...


Artist of words
Creating images
Of my life stories
With pen and paper
Spilling my heart
In all shades
Onto my easel
Broadening horizons
Painting lessons learned
With rhyme and reason
Tantalizing word play
In the artistic form of poetry