AIDS-National AIDS Day

In loving memory of

Joe Hurlburt

 (Pictured on your left, the tallest one)

March 17, 1971 - July 9, 1997

AIDS

Aids took over and totally consumed his body

Causing him constant immeasurable pain

The pain was so great that he pushed away everybody

Until he was unable to maintain

He was no longer the brother I once knew

He had only himself to blame

This is the brother that taught me how to tie my shoes

He tortured himself in shame

He was scared to die but it was now a reality

All he wanted was to be loved

And now he was paying for his sexuality

He died feeling completely unloved

Except from his family and the people who really mattered

My mom had to watch her son slowly wither away

Her world was forever shattered

His death affected everyone around

I not only lost my brother but my best friend

Even though 13 years has passed, his presence still surrounds

The sorrow of missing him will never end

The memories I will never forget

The good and bad times I will always cherish

There is not a moment of regret

I still can’t believe his life on earth has been perished

I will hold his love in my heart forever

And the lessons he taught

His son never really knew his father however

His battle on earth has been fought

Good Morning All! Today is National AIDS day, a very important day for me since my brother succumbed to this horrible disease. People think they are invincible, just as he did. This is a very serious issue, please protect yourself. A moment of satisfaction could lead to a horrible death, one that I wouldnt wish upon my worst enemy.

RIP Angie and Aaron

Today my best friend Angie and her son Aaron passed 14 years ago. Although you two are gone, you are NEVER forgotten! I played my Purple Rain CD all the way to work today, remembering our childhood...I truly miss you!

Angela Lee Sternack
5/15/76-11/12/96

Aaron Duke La Belle Jr
...11/12/96-11/12/96

RIP Mike-Guest Poet Tanaesha Leak

RIP Mike!  I cant believe its been a year since you left us :(

Good Morning All!  I am posting this in memory of Michael Jackson.  The two poems below my daughter wrote last year about Mike.  I hope that everyone has a safe and blessed weekend!

Now I Realize

I know at first I seen you as such a bad person

Because thats the picture people painted in my head

So before you left I never really knew you and I never really cared

I just went by what people said

And now that you are gone

I realize your greatness

I realize your perfection

I realize your innocence

I realize your shyness

I realize that you cared for others

I realize that you had a heart

And I realize that deep down inside you were hurting

You were hurting because they made you seem as such a bad person

They made you paranoid about the way you looked

They took your pride

They took your childhood

And your manhood

They took away the ability for you to sleep at night

They made you into a person you were not

And someone you could never become

And at the end they were never happy

You told them to leave you alone

But they never listened

And now I realize how sweet of a person you were

Hopefully now they will leave you alone

You've Shown Me

You've shown me how to not be selfish

You've shown me that the world needs healing

You've shown me how to love outside of myself

You've shown me that prejudice is ignorance

You've shown me that they dont really care about us

You've shown me that you should never come second to none

You've shown me that sharing is the key to life

You've shown me how to respect someone even if you dont like them

You've shown me how to be a lover and not a fighter

You've shown me that not everyone is what they seem

You've shown me that through everything you are not alone

You've shown me all of this through your music

You've shown me a lot and we never personally met

By Tanaesha Leak

Forever Young

Forever Young

Dedicated to the life of Andrea Arnold

Our Heavenly Father needed His angel

We can search for reasons from every angle

And still never understand

His ultimate plan

Take comfort that she can no longer feel pain

Even though your life will never again be the same

Cherish the memories that will never fade

Find that strength that she always displayed

I will always remember her smile

Although I have only known her a short while

She was one of my daughters best friends

The person she could confide and depend

I saw a beautiful soul

Mother to mother; I wish I had the words to console

Always remember the laughter and the fun

In our hearts she is forever young

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in this time of sorrow.  Andrea touched the lives of the people who knew her.  She will live on in our hearts and souls!  Everytime I get in my car I will remember her in my back seat dancing and singing with my daughters.  I saw her being a young vibrant teenager hanging out with a girl friend.  Andrea and Tanaesha were becoming closer friends.  Tanaesha trusted her with secrets she could tell no one else and knew that advice from her would be honest and forthcoming.  We will cherish the short time that she was in our lives!

With Love and Blessing,

Funeral

I will not be on blogger until Tuesday.  I just got word that the funeral will be this coming Monday.  This is going to be one of the hardest funerals I have ever been to.  I plan to go visit her mother and grandmother 2morrow and giving her the poem I wrote for her.

Please everyone pray for the family of Andrea Arnold
Her mom is Patrice and grandmother is Jackie.

Forever Young

Good Morning All!  I keep breaking down crying, my heart is bleeding for Andrea's mom.  I had a strong urge to go to her house and just give her a hug.  I cannot imagine the pain she is feeling.  I only met Andrea this past Jan but my daughter met her last year.  I instantly liked her and her spirit.  She had that personality that was straight up and forthcoming.  She seemed so geniune.  I told Tanaesha that I really liked her the moment I met her.  Tanaesha felt she was the only person she could confide in at her school.  She was able to talk to her about things she couldnt with other friends.  She always knew her advice and response would be honest and truthful.  They were getting closer.  Yesterday when I got in my car, I could still picture her in my backseat laughing and dancing to the radio with my daughters.  Still being a teenager dispite her health issues.  Even with her absense at school, as soon as she could she would come back to school and go back to work with my daughter.  I remember one time she had surgery one day and came back to school the next.  I saw strength in her.  I knew about her health issues through my daughter but never spoke of them with her.  My daughter told me this morning that she had just turned 17 June 2nd.  And telling me the plans they had for the summer and plans to do eachothers hair.  I am taking comfort that she is no longer in pain and she is watching over from above...Yesterday after work I went straight to my daughter and gave her a hug.  Hoping that this will make her realize that life is way to short and to enjoy every second of her life because 2morrow is never promised...I felt compelled to write this last night with Andrea's mother in mind....

Forever Young

Dedicated to Andrea Arnold

Our Heavenly father needed His angel
We can search for reasons from every angle
And still never understand
His ultimate plan
Take comfort that she can no longer feel pain
Eventhough your life will never again be the same
Cherish the memories that will never fade
Find that strength that she always displayed
I will always remember her smile
Although I have only known her a short while
She was one of my daughters best friends
The person she could confide and depend
I saw a beautiful soul
Mother to mother; I wish I had the words to console
Always remember the laughter and the fun
In our hearts she is forever young

RIP Andrea

I just got news that my daughters girlfriend Andrea passed this morning.  She has had ongoing health issues and knew that she wouldnt make it until she was 20 but she was 17 now....My daughter saw her yesterday in school and she was fine.  Hearing my babigirl crying over the loss of her girlfriend words cannot describe the pains in my heart.  She worked with my daughter at the hair salon and I have spent some time with her.  She was scheduled for surgery next week.  My heart and prayers go out to her grandmother and mother whom I know and the remainder of her family.

I am taking a moment of silence for dear sweet Andrea.  I love her soul, I will miss her smiles and giggles...

RIP Angie

Today I am not really in the mood to write anything but I do want to take a moment of silence in loving memory of Angela  Sternack and Aaron Duke La Belle Jr.  Novemember 12, 1996 my best friend in the world since the age of 2 years old, Angie while 9 months pregnant with Aaron ran in the street to chase her dog and was hit by a car.  She died instantly right in front of her brother and her baby lived for 15 mins but died because he was crushed.  I still remember her funeral vividly.  I can never forget the image of her holding her beautiful baby boy in her arms, looking as if they were both sleeping peacefully.  I still hear her mother Bonnie's screams.  The thing that bothers me is that Angie never got to hold her son or see him while still living.  That was her first child.  Me and her shared many momments growing up together as friends.  I am now listening to the song "Man in the Mirror" & Prince "Purple Rain" :) (on repeat all day) in memory of her.  I still miss you Angie!

Angela Lee Sternack
5/15/76-11/12/96

Aaron Duke La Belle Jr
11/12/96-11/12/96

Affects of AIDS

It all started with a cough that just wouldn’t go away
He still hadn’t even admitted he was gay

He felt sick every day, he knew something wasn’t quite right
He didn’t have the strength anymore to fight this fight

After confirmation, then came deep depression
His family finally heard his heartfelt confessions

Depression took over and consumed
His worst fears were a reality and no longer assumed

He gave up hope completely
He was grieving inside deeply

Seclusion was his first defense
Total lies his lover told were the greatest offense

He now needed assistance with mom's care
The pain was more than he could bare

His body was covered with a horrible rash
Continuously cursing at everyone, breaking moms heart with each lash

He didn’t have the energy to get out of bed
It caused extreme pain to even move his head

Thresh would build up in his throat causing him to choke
His only enjoyment was his coffee and to smoke

His friends didn’t understand and was scared to be around
Feelings of abandonment were profound

He lost so much weight that he looked like a skeleton covered with skin
He felt as if he were being punished for his sins

He refused his medication because he no longer wanted his life prolonged
This world he never felt as if he really belonged

He was always teased and tortured his entire childhood
It was obvious he was gay just by the way he stood

In his final days he told mom he saw God and that He needed him
He said that the flowers in His garden were so amazingly beautiful even down to the stems

But he didn’t want to leave his mother here
She told him his time to leave was near

She would miss him dearly but couldn’t stand to see him suffer another day
Saying good bye to her son, wasn’t easy finding the right words to say

Watching the constant torture was driving her insane
After three long years of suffering and pain

I knew he was gone at 5 am, as soon as I heard the phone ringing
It sounded just like the angel's were singing

He was now pain free and in a better place
Now life without him was not easy to face

© copyright Tue Aug 30 12:30:00 UTC 2009 - All Rights Reserved

AIDS

Aids took over and totally consumed his body
Causing him constant immeasurable pain
The pain was so great that he pushed away everybody
Until he was unable to maintain
He was no longer the brother I once knew
He had only himself to blame
This is the brother that taught me how to tie my shoes
He tortured himself in shame
He was scared to die but it was now a reality
All he wanted was to be loved
And now he was paying for his sexuality
He died feeling completely unloved
Except from his family and the people who really mattered
My mom had to watch her son slowly wither away
Her world was forever shattered
His death affected everyone around
I not only lost my brother but my best friend
Even though 13 years has passed, his presence still surrounds
The sorrow of missing him will never end
The memories I will never forget
The good and bad times I will always cherish
There is not a moment of regret
I still can’t believe his life on earth has been perished
I will hold his love in my heart forever
And the lessons he taught
His son never really knew his father however
His battle on earth has been fought



© copyright Tue Aug 26 7:54:00 UTC 2009 - All Rights Reserved

Miss you Joe...

RIP Joe...You are gone...but never forgotten....Its hard to believe that its been 11 years since God took you from my life...Everytime I get sad or upset, I miss talking to you. I miss you taking care of me when I made dumb mistakes. I miss my big brother....Your son is practially a grown man now, he ressambles you so much. I just wish he remembered you, the way I do...You meant the world to me then eventhough I didnt show it, and do more now than then. What did you expect, we are brother and sister who are supposed to fight and disagree. I remember this day 11 years ago. When I got the call at 4 AM, I knew before I picked up the phone. At first I felt a sigh of relief because you were pain free, but then the selfishness kicked in and I missed you...Me and you were so much alike thats why we disputed. But then again we were also sooo different. Eventhough people still tell me to this day that we look like we could be twins. There is not a day that goes by that you are not on my mind, you will always remain in my heart. I will go visit your resting place this evening...and reminisce...I got sooo much more I could say but I will save that for the converstaions I still hold with you regularly.....

© copyright Tue Aug 04 17:55:19 UTC 2009 - All Rights Reserved

Joe

Aids took you away from me
For all the world to see
You went out of our sight so fast
But you left us plenty of memories to last
It is your gentle touch that we miss
And your cheek to kiss
You are my big brother and I am your little sister
Your horrible death wrecked my life like a twister
I am dealing with so much grief
My heart is in so much disbelief
It’s been almost a year now
But it still feels like yesterday since you threw in the towel
I know that you did not mean the horrible things that you said to us
Even though you gave everyone so much fuss
I know that the pain took over your mind
But there was no cure to find
You once told me that it felt day to day like you were living with the flu
You were no longer the brother I once knew
Your body was in too much pain
It felt like you was just hit by a train
I wished that there was something that I could have gave you to take the pain away
All that I could do is hope and pray
Then that cool summer morning when
God finally called your name
Now nothing could ever be the same
You told mom that you saw Heaven and you did not want to leave us
But it was your time to go, it certainly was a must
I bet that it was a long journey home
Now you have a new place to call your own
Our life here on earth goes on
All we have left to do is mourn
I will definitely mourn you
Until I join you
Now all your son has left is very few memories of his dad
And now he will be forever sad
All I can do is hold him and think of you
I will be sure to let him know what a fine you man he can be too
You will forever be in my thoughts, prayers and my mind
I will always remember and be grateful for the short time...
That God gave us

R.I.P Joe Hurlburt
March 17, 1971 - July 9, 1997

© copyright Tue Aug 04 17:55:19 UTC 2009 - All Rights Reserved

Missing You

God has called his precious angel home
You were always the glue that kept our family whole

You taught me that such big things can come in such a small frame
You guided me into the man I have became

I remember the consequences when I didn’t want to go to school
You showed me education was more important than being cool

You gave us more than we could have dreamed of
You taught me strength and unconditional love

How I can just taste the delicious cakes you baked
I know you will always be watching over me but yet my heart will always ache

For the love you so freely instilled in me
It’s so hard to accept that your soul is now set free

And now we are here to carry on your legacy
And make sure you are honored accurately

My inner tears will never truly subside
My love for you will always live here inside

© copyright Tue Aug 04 17:55:19 UTC 2009 - All Rights Reserved

Morgan

Morgan

You have been like family for many years
Hearing you are gone brought instant tears

I have been there through the many stages you’ve surpassed
Remembering what we spoke of, not knowing it was our last

Your life was heading in the direction you wanted it to be
Your unique spirit is now set free

We will miss your beautiful smile
Your good heart and most of all, your laugh; all the while

Your spirit through Raven will continue to shine
Your genuine love will remain in our hearts throughout time

Cherished memories of your presence remain
For many now life could never be the same

May God be with your family and friends in this time of sorrow
Your time here God gave us, was borrowed

Now the sadness and pain can never be fully eased
May God rest your sorely missed, wonderful soul in peace


You are gone, but never forgotten…

We love you Morgan!!!!!

© copyright Tue Aug 04 17:55:19 UTC 2009 - All Rights Reserved

My Big Brother

Childhood memories of you
And all that we have been through

Constant fights
Hair pulling and arm bites

Teaching me to tell time and tie my shoe
What to or not to do

Teaching me how to love what’s inside
Worries and concerns with you, I confide

Taking day trips to amusement parks
Watching in amazement lights and firework sparks

Teaching me how to drive
With you by my side I always felt alive

Teenage mistakes
Giving me back what life takes

Disagreements and arguments forgotten
No more revenges plotting

Both young parents together learning
Giving our children the love they are yearning

The lessons you have taught
I pass onto my children, what is most sought

Your guidance taught me, me
I truly wish you didn’t have to leave

Me alone, not knowing, lost
Your journey for love has cost

And left me without my big brother
Your soul still fills me enough to smoother

I feel you within and around
Your words of wisdom and experience still surround

I miss your strong arms comforting my fears
Your gentle hands wiping away my tears

Even after 10 years, I know somewhere you are still here
I just can’t accept your gone, I just miss you oh so dear

© copyright Tue Aug 04 17:55:19 UTC 2009 - All Rights Reserved