Thursday, December 30, 2010

Freed

You tried to take me, my soul
Until I learned to gain control
You hurt me in ways I couldn’t let go
Locking my pain inside so no one would know
Desperately wanting my father’s love
Realizing my Father is the man above
Looking for love in the wrong places
Pushing past the hurt of many different faces
Made mistakes I can’t take back
Now focused on getting my life on track
Releasing the flash backs and nightmares
That haunted when no one cared
Finding and truly loving me
All that pain and hurt finally freed

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Aim

Drips dropping slowly
Forming a knowing
Of obstacles and triumphs
In my throat formed a lump
Knowing what to do
Confidence seeping through
Finding my way in this place called life
Made amends with all this so called strife
Letting go of inhibitions
Making better decisions
My life I reclaim
To higher heights I aim

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Deceit

Deceit

Not falling for your lies
Revealing your disguise

Elated I didn’t release my heart to you
Bigger and better opportunities I pursue

I deserve more respect than you have given
But all is forgiven

Because it’s not my place to judge
It’s not even worth me holding a grudge

I am not that same person anymore
No longer making the same mistakes as before

The difference is that I love and respect me now
Demanding what I deserve, I vow

Not wasting time in sorrow
Looking forward to a brighter tomorrow

Not even worthy of shedding a tear
When I know my heart is sincere

No longer giving to the undeserved
Especially when it’s unearned

No longer serving a purpose, cutting off all ties
Seeing truth beyond blatant falsies and deceit

 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Double Crossed


Double Crossed

You were the one I thought I’d spend my life with
But our “happily ever after” was a myth

I thought I knew you, everything about you
But your lies have been seen through

It hurts because above all else you were my best friend
That one person I could always depend

Now our friendship must cease
Leaving my broken heart in one piece

But at least now I know the truth
And am sure of what’s it’s my view

Now it’s time to let go and move on
My love is now withdrawn

Because you were never worthy of me
Not worthy to be the trustee

Of my heart and all that entails
And all of that would have unveiled

I guess it’s just you’re loss
With your plans to double cross

 

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Stolen Kisses

Stolen Kisses

We see each other in passing routinely
Sneaking a peak here and there
So very discreetly
Words unspoken in midair
When the elevator doors closed
He reached in and kissed my lips
Tongues danced like they were composed
With eyes closed like an eclipse
Tensions mounted as my heart skipped a beat
Not wanting it to end
As the doors opened we tried to play discreet
But inside we couldn’t pretend
This was not long awaited
The longing could not dismiss
Lips left much elated
Until the next time of stolen kisses


Monday, December 13, 2010

Warmth

 Warmth

Snowflakes decorating the sky
Winter chills brisk bite
Loneliness hard to deny
That person holding me through the night
Loving me to no end
Body heat rising
Fluids mixing to the perfect blend
Positions continuously revising
Defining ecstasy with chemistry untamed
Arising eruptions unable to conceal
Heart lustfully inflamed
My dreams so alive, almost surreal

Friday, December 10, 2010

Intrigued

Dali Salvador


Intrigued by the depths of you
Got me wondering if I should pursue

Curiosity is getting the best of me
Putting myself out there with no guarantee

I am feeling your sexy style
Hopeful you are worthwhile

Not looking for anything serious
Loving the mysterious

Wanting to know what it takes to make you smile
Levels of you trying to compile

Piecing together the real you
Asking myself if you are true

I have enjoyed time spent
Curious of your intent

Time will only tell
If things will excel or we say our farewells

Actions speak louder than words could ever
Hoping we are successful in our endeavor

Eager to see if you can take my breathe and leave me fatigue
You have me very intrigued…

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Vibe

Vibe

Vibes flowing within my veins
Of thoughts remain
On the tip of my pen
Releasing over and over again
Flooding paper with unspoken words
Previously unheard
No longer locked inside
All my secrets I confide
Feeling the rhythm
Becoming the victim
Getting lost in thought
Inner battles being fought
Verses being scribed
Syncing with each syllable of this vibe

 

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Awaken

Awaken Love-Charlotte Atkinson


Awaken

His touch awakens, as a breath of fresh air
His kiss evokes feelings deep
Way beyond a casual affair
With my heart at ease, comes peaceful sleep
His heart soothes inner fears
His eyes confirm sincerity
Wiping away stains left from trails of tears
Walls tumbling, leaving room for prosperity
His personality completely comforts, emotions ignite
His hands guide in new undiscovered directions
Withstanding disagreements, previews a different light
Willingly demonstrates truth behind affections
His voice fills my ears, profoundly outspoken
Words don’t give justice to an unwritten lyric
With him, love prevails the unspoken
His love fully awakens my spirit

 

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Beauty- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME :)

HAPPY 35TH BIRTHDAY TO ME :)




Beauty

Fresh hair cut and color; make up looking fierce
Eyes deep enough to pierce

My fresh black pumps with the newly manicured toes out
Looks are deceiving; inside I am overcoming self doubt

Tight, sexy dark blue jeans with the red low cut top
Making all of the on-looking mens jaw drop

Cute baby face on the outside
But who wants to really know the complete inside

Short in height and small in frame
Does anyone care whats really in my brain

Focused and professional. but always real
When will someone truly care how I really feel

Smiling face in front of others
Can we truly trust one another

Not impressed unless they can really connect mentally
And not only for satisfaction that only lasts momentarily

The eyes are the key to ones soul
Look deep inside that person and see thier true role

Everyone in life is not for keeps
Every night I singly sleep

Choosing not to settle for less than I deserve
My full heart I have chosen to reserve

It's not in my physical description, but whats in my heart
My inner beauty is my true work of art

Monday, December 6, 2010

Just Once More

Just Once More

Lying here in this bed next to him
Wanting him to touch and love me until my knees go numb
Longing to feel his soft kisses on my neck
Loving me all the way down past the small of my back
His hands caressing my thighs as gentle as a feather
Making my senses alert and sensitive to his touch
Craving to feel him inside
Taking me to our special sensual place
Indulging into pure ecstasy
Falling asleep in his arms, awakening to his much desired kisses
But instead
I lay next to this man I love with every molecule of my body
Hurting, missing the love we shared
Both knowing we cannot be, not now
But the love we share is so powerful and keeps pulling us back
Now we lay here as two friends would
Pretending we don’t want to give in
Just once more…

 


Thursday, December 2, 2010

Stimulation


Stimulation

His lips taste as sweet as chocolate strawberries
The love he continuously gives, my heart carries

Softly rubbing his sexy, clean shaven bald head
Knowing repeated eruption is not far ahead

While his juicy lips are gently massaging me
From my head all the way down to my feet

His hands slowly caressing, bringing sensations to new heights
Perfecting tongue wrestling fights

Stimulating each and every one of my senses
Licking up the fluids my body endlessly dispenses

Anticipating returning the favor
Each drop of him I truly savor

Loving each and every part of him
Until he feels complete numbness in his limbs

His muscular arms cradling my body to the best position
Forcing me into total submission

Following his lead
From his reactions I feed

Pure ecstasy refined
Memories I replay in my mind



 


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

AIDS-National AIDS Day



In loving memory of
Joe Hurlburt
 (Pictured on your left, the tallest one)
March 17, 1971 - July 9, 1997

AIDS

Aids took over and totally consumed his body
Causing him constant immeasurable pain
The pain was so great that he pushed away everybody
Until he was unable to maintain
He was no longer the brother I once knew
He had only himself to blame
This is the brother that taught me how to tie my shoes
He tortured himself in shame
He was scared to die but it was now a reality
All he wanted was to be loved
And now he was paying for his sexuality
He died feeling completely unloved
Except from his family and the people who really mattered
My mom had to watch her son slowly wither away
Her world was forever shattered
His death affected everyone around
I not only lost my brother but my best friend
Even though 13 years has passed, his presence still surrounds
The sorrow of missing him will never end
The memories I will never forget
The good and bad times I will always cherish
There is not a moment of regret
I still can’t believe his life on earth has been perished
I will hold his love in my heart forever
And the lessons he taught
His son never really knew his father however
His battle on earth has been fought

Good Morning All! Today is National AIDS day, a very important day for me since my brother succumbed to this horrible disease. People think they are invincible, just as he did. This is a very serious issue, please protect yourself. A moment of satisfaction could lead to a horrible death, one that I wouldnt wish upon my worst enemy.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Today

I chose this particular pic because its a view I am used to, sunrise in the DC metro area...And I am thankful each day I see this image...I actually pass the monument on my way toand from work :)

Today

Here one day, gone the next
It’s the time in between to reflect
Making each day joyous and fulfilling
Be open and willing
To take on each obstacle that comes our way
Not being lead astray
Cherish love in totality
Make happiness a reality
Stop wasting moments in sorrow
Look forward to tomorrow
For it is never promised
Let the beauty of today not be dismissed

Good Morning All! This is yet another reminder that we need to enjoy what is in front of us...today and stop relying on 2morrow...I JUST got some good news(As I was typing)...They are able to do the procedure...Its really risky and that terrifies me...But its a chance...So I am feeling a sense of relief right now eventhough he still has a long road ahead...I will be right there with him, battling this, encouring him...

Monday, November 29, 2010

Precious Life

Monet-Giverny


Precious Life

Life is so precious
It is something that should never be neglected

Savor each moment
As it is your last momentum

Every second that is past
Treat is as your last

Cherish time spent
Everything has something to represent

Take time and notice the small things
And see what it brings

Once the time is gone
There is no recalling

Always remember as you climb
God only gives us one lifetime

 

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thank You-Prayer



Dear God,

Thank you Lord for continuously blessing our lives
Thank you for opening our eyes
To your promises and guarantees
Thank you for putting our troubles and worries at ease
Please give us strength to bear adversities
Fill us with the Word that accompanies
Your love and grace
Our hunger for your knowledge embraced
Thirst for your spirit overcomes
Guiding us to being the best we can become
Teaching us your Word as it empowers
Your glory and love continuously showers
Cleansing away our sins
Continue to walk with us as our journey begins
Help us overcome the devils constant attack
Fill us with the confidence we currently lack
Thank you again Lord for always having our back
Thank you for keeping our lives on track
Even when we thought we didn’t have the strength to continue
Thank you for your love that always renews
Thank you Lord, Thank you

In Jesus name, Amen

 

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Free Falling

Free Falling

Sick and tired of stressing
Constantly assessing
Damage already done
And all that’s left undone
Wondering how I am going to make it
Not understanding how the pieces will to fit

Letting go

Even though the debts are still owed
Having faith that He WILL provide
Closing my eyes and opening my arms out wide
Feeling assurance in His calling
Letting completely go and free falling

 

Monday, November 22, 2010

Deep


Deep

My love for you runs deep within my soul
My worries and fears, your love continues to console

We have been through our share of adversities
And overcome all of our uncertainties

No longer plagued by doubt
Your love I never want to live without

 

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Faith

Faith

Why do we worry and stress
Instead of awaiting God to bless

We make choices that have consequences
Blaming Him for our mistakes is our greatest offense

Why do we fight against His will
Instead of trusting His Word to instill

Faith that everything will work out just as it’s supposed to
And not always when and how we want it to

We need to learn how to let go
And realize that He is the One that is in control

All He asks for is our love and obedience
Pray at the altar with faith and confidence

Live out our purpose here in this life
And He guarantees us eternal life

With inner peace and unconditional love
Just build a personal relationship with God above


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Faces

Ocean Cherub-Michael Cromwell

Faces


Almost like a chameleon,
Changing with each atmosphere

A collage of faces,
Adapt and adhere

To particular circumstances,
Desiring different results

Seeking your goal,
Pretending not to insult

Falsely displaying,
Who you are not

Attempting to catch,
People in their blind spot

Instead of pretending,
Just be you

Your lies,
Are being seen through

You are not only deceiving others,
But yourself as well

Losing yourself,
Falling under your own spell


 

Monday, November 15, 2010

My Thoughts Personified



My Thoughts Personified

Sitting at the computer feeling the vibe
Surging through my mind and spills out in strides
My feelings, thoughts and whatever is on my mind
Not sure of how it will turn out I grind
The keyboard, my mind overflowing
Not knowing
Exactly what will appear
My words form clear
All these unspoken words inside
I cannot deny
I feel a desperate need to release
My emotions increase
Flooding the page
In a constant rage
Cannot control myself until these words are spoken
It is for me, my token
It feels so good to get this out of my system
And put it into rhythm
A part of me is shared
Doesn’t matter to me if anyone cared
It is my relief
It is only my belief
That I speak, only my needs that I need to meet
My personal retreat
Much to elate
Emotions intoxicate
My mental escape

 

Friday, November 12, 2010

RIP Angie and Aaron


Today my best friend Angie and her son Aaron passed 14 years ago. Although you two are gone, you are NEVER forgotten! I played my Purple Rain CD all the way to work today, remembering our childhood...I truly miss you!

Angela Lee Sternack
5/15/76-11/12/96

Aaron Duke La Belle Jr
...11/12/96-11/12/96

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The Beauty of the Sky

The Beauty of the Sky

Sitting there watching the sky
Watching the clouds pass me by
The sky is a deep blue
You can get lost in the clouds for a few
Day dreaming that you are floating on the clouds
Just you, with no one else around
Watching the clouds take a defined form
Observing the sky getting dark for a storm
Fierce lighting blazing
Lying there gazing
In amazement of the sky’s different faces
Dreaming about different places
Watching the sky turn orange and red
As the sun sets while lying there in my bed
In the early morning
Noticing the clouds forming
The purple and blue sky is grabbing my attention
It is too beautiful not to mention
It is breath taking
There is no mistaking
The many different feelings
You can observe the earth’s dealings
Just as our moods can change
The sky is a face that reflects the earth’s strains
Tornados and hurricanes
You respect its reins
Raindrops falling
Cleansing the earth for its calling
Beautiful white snow
In the evening hours you can see its glow
Appreciating the sky’s beauty
As it goes on accomplishing its duty
Lighting striking while it illuminates
The clouds depth and rejuvenates
Lying there observing
The beauty of the sky that is well deserving


 

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

My Deep Ocean of Thought


My Deep Ocean of Thought

Always in deep thought
Mental stimulation
Everything coming to a halt
Intoxicating penetration
Into the unknown
Thoughts erratic
Feelings shown
Almost like an addict
Actions amplified
For reasons untold
Body numb and mummified
Under mind’s control
Spirit boasting
Strengthening my mind
Heart afloat
Thoughts and desires intertwine
Mind always in a race
Hidden and secure
My secret place
Answers within I ensure
My escape
Into my own little world
Invading this is called mental rape
This is my space twirled
Around the real me
My thoughts run deep as an ocean
My own personal retreat, mental relief
Desires put into motion
All in my head
Lying there untouched
Pure, never tainted or misread
Securely clutched
Always true to self
First and foremost
For my personal health
My personal toast
No one could ever truly understand
The vibes that flow within
Emotions dealt with, and stronger I stand
My thoughts will never end
And are always constant
Until you have walked in my shoes
You could never relate
But listen closely to all my clues
While I attempt to intoxicate
A distraction to deter
And make sure my thoughts and feelings
Are always secure, and un-telling of what may occur
My private dealings
Are my own
Never for others to be let completely in
They are meant to be left to the unknown
Only to reside deep within

 

Monday, November 8, 2010

Silence



Silence

Close your eyes and feel with your senses
Shut off all of your defenses
Don’t think with your mind
Witness this as we intertwine
Focus on the energy that is being produced
Absorb it as it is introduced
Into your soul
Conceive me within you as I console
Experience the vibes that we create
These feelings we elate
Put your arms around me and squeeze tight
I invite you to be a part of this plight
Immerse yourself into my atmosphere
Relax as our souls adhere
And become as one
Enjoy what has begun
This can never be undone
We are connected in every way
Notice my persona is displayed
Nothing to hide
These feelings we cannot deny
I embrace the kiss on my lips
This is our personal eclipse
I clutch your gentle touch
I love you so much
As chills ride my spine
This love we define
But not into words
These feelings can only be felt and not heard
Dip into my intellectual
Make it ever so sensual
And sprinkle me with your trust
This is far beyond lust
This is love that is so true
This love to the fullest we pursue
It is unexplainable science
Feel as I demonstrate my love in silence

 

Thursday, November 4, 2010

My Time

My Time

Alone with my thoughts
Inner battles to be fought
True joy found
Self discoveries profound
Learning to love me
In my own visions I am free
Enjoying this moment of mine
Growing from each second of my time

 

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Breathe You



Breathe You

I just want to breathe your air,
Where ever you are I want to be there

Feeling your touch beneath my skin,
Taking us to heights we have never been

Exploring perfection of our very own,
Reaching in and out of our comfort zone

Tantalizing newly discovered pleasures,
With no limitations of measure

Absorbing your essence within my being,
Giving loves definition true meaning

Together our love we pursue,
Within I breathe you

 

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Autumn


Autumn

Colorful leaves,
Coating green grass

Looking through,
Frost covered glass

Brisk autumn chill,
Breezing across finger tips

Half moon glowing,
Into an almost eclipse

Stars illuminating,
Dark crisp skies

Bitter cool air,
Awaiting sunrise

 

Monday, November 1, 2010

Memories


Memories

Memories consume my dreams,
Of times shared

Touching my soul,
Places no one has dared

Those feelings embraced,
Within my veins

Flowing blood through my heart,
Of love remains

 

Friday, October 29, 2010

Crave


Crave

I just don't know what it is about that man
He just does something to me
That no other can
Willingly locked in his love like a detainee
That place in my heart his name is etched
Unchartered territory of any other
Only his image my eyes have sketched
He gives me chills and makes my heart flutter
Hanging on and never letting go
Love overflowing like a tidal wave
Day by day the intensity grows
It's only him that my heart and body craves

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Chaos



Chaos

Dreams interrupted
Rudely awakened
In the wee hours of the morning
Rounds of gun shots firing
Screams of terror and fear
Constant news horror stories
And witnessing what's not reported

Becoming routine occurrences
Tired of the shootings
Daily robberies
Carjacking realities
Domestic violence
Child abuse and sexual assaults
Hourly murders

When does it end
Never I guess
When do you get numb
To the acts of violence
I simply can't
Violence is a part of my life
That I can never accept

Chaos of different kinds
Shows in every aspect of life
All we can do
Is live life to the fullest
Live like it's our last day
And avoid being center
In a life of chaos

 

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Cleansing

FYI-The above pic is NOT me...Its just a random image that I got from a google search

Cleansing

Rain drops saturating
Immersing my pores
Tears escaping my eyes
Renewing my soul
Releasing emotions
Soaked leaves and debris
Squashed under my feet
Embracing the cleansing

 

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Breathless



Breathless

Every time you walk into a room, I feel you
I feel the strength of our hearts pursuit

When I close my eyes, you are on my mind
Feelings take over, chills run up and down my spine

Yearning to feel you deep inside
Wanting to feel our passions collide

Craving to feel your kisses caressing me
From head to toe, setting me free

The depths of these feelings my hearts confessed
Thoughts of you leave me completely breathless....

 

Monday, October 25, 2010

Isolated


Isolated

Isolated in my own mind
My own world I drift
Falling into my own darkness
Facing my own demons
Totally alone

Isolated

Just going through the motions of life
In my own fogged daze
Life feeling repetitive
Feeling as I am facing the world on my own
Loneliness and depression takes over

Isolated

Body becoming numb
Wishing time away
Depression controlling thoughts
Nightmares feeling like reality
In my own mind

Isolated