Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Happy 17th Birthday Tanaesha

My babi girl is 17 today :)  WOW I feel so old lol....My youngest will be 14 this coming sat....Back to back I tell ya :)  We are celebrating their birthdays in Myrtle Beach when we visit my mom this weekend :)  I am off this friday and took off Tuesday.  I am soooo looking forward to my mini-vacation :)

Sorry for neglecting my poetry from everyone...I have been quite busy at work and do not have internet access or even a computer at home :(  I am not feeling all that great because I got into a car accident yesterday :(  Someone pulled out in front of me and I had no choice but to run right into her...My car is barely driveable and I am stiff and sore but Praise God, I am ok!

Friday, June 25, 2010

RIP Mike-Guest Poet Tanaesha Leak

RIP Mike!  I cant believe its been a year since you left us :(

Good Morning All!  I am posting this in memory of Michael Jackson.  The two poems below my daughter wrote last year about Mike.  I hope that everyone has a safe and blessed weekend!

Now I Realize

I know at first I seen you as such a bad person
Because thats the picture people painted in my head
So before you left I never really knew you and I never really cared
I just went by what people said
And now that you are gone
I realize your greatness
I realize your perfection
I realize your innocence
I realize your shyness
I realize that you cared for others
I realize that you had a heart
And I realize that deep down inside you were hurting
You were hurting because they made you seem as such a bad person
They made you paranoid about the way you looked
They took your pride
They took your childhood
And your manhood
They took away the ability for you to sleep at night
They made you into a person you were not
And someone you could never become
And at the end they were never happy
You told them to leave you alone
But they never listened
And now I realize how sweet of a person you were
Hopefully now they will leave you alone

You've Shown Me

You've shown me how to not be selfish
You've shown me that the world needs healing
You've shown me how to love outside of myself
You've shown me that prejudice is ignorance
You've shown me that they dont really care about us
You've shown me that you should never come second to none
You've shown me that sharing is the key to life
You've shown me how to respect someone even if you dont like them
You've shown me how to be a lover and not a fighter
You've shown me that not everyone is what they seem
You've shown me that through everything you are not alone
You've shown me all of this through your music
You've shown me a lot and we never personally met

By Tanaesha Leak

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Forever Young

Forever Young

Dedicated to the life of Andrea Arnold

Our Heavenly Father needed His angel
We can search for reasons from every angle
And still never understand
His ultimate plan
Take comfort that she can no longer feel pain
Even though your life will never again be the same
Cherish the memories that will never fade
Find that strength that she always displayed
I will always remember her smile
Although I have only known her a short while
She was one of my daughters best friends
The person she could confide and depend
I saw a beautiful soul
Mother to mother; I wish I had the words to console
Always remember the laughter and the fun
In our hearts she is forever young

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in this time of sorrow.  Andrea touched the lives of the people who knew her.  She will live on in our hearts and souls!  Everytime I get in my car I will remember her in my back seat dancing and singing with my daughters.  I saw her being a young vibrant teenager hanging out with a girl friend.  Andrea and Tanaesha were becoming closer friends.  Tanaesha trusted her with secrets she could tell no one else and knew that advice from her would be honest and forthcoming.  We will cherish the short time that she was in our lives!

With Love and Blessing,

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I will not be on blogger until Tuesday.  I just got word that the funeral will be this coming Monday.  This is going to be one of the hardest funerals I have ever been to.  I plan to go visit her mother and grandmother 2morrow and giving her the poem I wrote for her.

Please everyone pray for the family of Andrea Arnold
Her mom is Patrice and grandmother is Jackie.


Here one day, gone the next
Its the time in between to reflect
Making each day joyous and fulfilling
Be open and willing
To take on each obstacle that comes our way
Not being lead astray
Cherish love in totality
Make happiness a reality
Stop wasting time in sorrow
Look forward to tomorrow
For it is never promised
Let the beauty of today not be dismissed

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Forever Young

Good Morning All!  I keep breaking down crying, my heart is bleeding for Andrea's mom.  I had a strong urge to go to her house and just give her a hug.  I cannot imagine the pain she is feeling.  I only met Andrea this past Jan but my daughter met her last year.  I instantly liked her and her spirit.  She had that personality that was straight up and forthcoming.  She seemed so geniune.  I told Tanaesha that I really liked her the moment I met her.  Tanaesha felt she was the only person she could confide in at her school.  She was able to talk to her about things she couldnt with other friends.  She always knew her advice and response would be honest and truthful.  They were getting closer.  Yesterday when I got in my car, I could still picture her in my backseat laughing and dancing to the radio with my daughters.  Still being a teenager dispite her health issues.  Even with her absense at school, as soon as she could she would come back to school and go back to work with my daughter.  I remember one time she had surgery one day and came back to school the next.  I saw strength in her.  I knew about her health issues through my daughter but never spoke of them with her.  My daughter told me this morning that she had just turned 17 June 2nd.  And telling me the plans they had for the summer and plans to do eachothers hair.  I am taking comfort that she is no longer in pain and she is watching over from above...Yesterday after work I went straight to my daughter and gave her a hug.  Hoping that this will make her realize that life is way to short and to enjoy every second of her life because 2morrow is never promised...I felt compelled to write this last night with Andrea's mother in mind....

Forever Young

Dedicated to Andrea Arnold

Our Heavenly father needed His angel
We can search for reasons from every angle
And still never understand
His ultimate plan
Take comfort that she can no longer feel pain
Eventhough your life will never again be the same
Cherish the memories that will never fade
Find that strength that she always displayed
I will always remember her smile
Although I have only known her a short while
She was one of my daughters best friends
The person she could confide and depend
I saw a beautiful soul
Mother to mother; I wish I had the words to console
Always remember the laughter and the fun
In our hearts she is forever young

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

RIP Andrea

I just got news that my daughters girlfriend Andrea passed this morning.  She has had ongoing health issues and knew that she wouldnt make it until she was 20 but she was 17 now....My daughter saw her yesterday in school and she was fine.  Hearing my babigirl crying over the loss of her girlfriend words cannot describe the pains in my heart.  She worked with my daughter at the hair salon and I have spent some time with her.  She was scheduled for surgery next week.  My heart and prayers go out to her grandmother and mother whom I know and the remainder of her family.

I am taking a moment of silence for dear sweet Andrea.  I love her soul, I will miss her smiles and giggles...

Check In

Good Morning All!  I have been having issues getting on my computer account due to secrity proceedures at work.  Plus I am so sick, but still at work :(  I really have nothing to report or write about....I hope that everyone has a good day today!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Ready-Friday Flash 55

I am ready for something real
True love that my heart can feel

I am ready to give my all
In your arms comfortably free fall

I am ready to start our life together
Knowing any storm we can weather

I am here ready for you to claim me
And kneel down on bended knee

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Persuasive Essay

Good Morning All!  I am sorry that I havent posted anything in a few days.  I have been crazy busy at work this week.  Last week I was struggling, and most of this week as well....But you know what, I made it through those storms....And just knowing that its going to be alright anyways, makes me strong enough to endure whatever is thrown my way next week...

I wrote the below as a persuasive essay for my writing class.  I was told to write about something that happened in my life or in the news in the last three weeks.  And this is what came out onto the paper.  Its kind of a testimony showing that God does open doors and that God is always on time...With everything I have been dealing with, this was a fitting reminder to me....enjoy and be encouraged!

     God opens doors.

     Even when you are still making the same mistakes, he has your back.

     Even when you lose focus and direction, he still shows you the way.

     God always shows you how to get back on track.  He will allow you to make your mistakes and suffer the consequences of your actions.  But he will not put more on you than you can bear, even when it feels like you just cant take no more, you can.  Adversity makes us stronger.  If we take our troubles to God and have faith that everything will work out just as its supposed to, it will.  Its out decisons that hold us back from our blessings.  When you stop worrying and have faith, then your burdens and troubles dont affect you the same.

     God is always on time.

     Even when you dont know how you are going to make it from one day to the next, he will provide.

     Even when help doesnt come when you think you need it, it will come right on time.

     For a week I was worried about how I could come up with twenty-five dollars that I needed to pay my rent.  I stressed myself the entire week trying to come up with solutions to get this paid. 

     A co worker walked up to me and said, "The Holy spirit told me that you needed this."

     Mind you this co worker had no idea that I was struggling with financial difficulties.  He handed me exactly twenty-five dollars and walked away.  It was confirmation to me that God does really have my back and that God is always right on time.

     God opens doors.

     Even when troubles in your life tell you that you are not going to make it through, you will.

     Even when what you wanted doesnt come to pass, your blessing will supersede your wants.

     Then last week, I was stressing because I didnt know how I was going to make it to work that week.  I did not have a dollar to my name.  I went the entire week not eating and keeping to myself.  Consumed with thoughts of how I could get the money I needed for gas and food.  Minutes before it was time to leave work for the day, my supervisor offered to fill up my gas tank.  That gas allowed me to make it to work for the next three days.  This showed me that help comes from place that I didnt know was an option.

     God is always on time.

     Even when life throws you unexpected curve balls, he will give you the strength to endure.

     Even when the clouds are too thick to see clearly, he will be your constant guide.

     I have come so far in my life that I know that God will not let me fall flat on my face, again.  I overcame a drug addict husband, joblessness, homelessness, giving custody of my daughters to thier father and an abusive boyfriend.  I now have a good job, my own apartment with my daughters and enjoying being the best mother that I can be to my teenage daughters.  I am so terrified of losing everything again that when I come up short, I get paranoid.  I worry and stress myself over everything when if I rested my faith in God, there would be no need to worry.  But no matter how bad it looks, God opens doors and make a way out of no way.  God is always on time, no matter what the cut off notice says.  God steps in just in the nick of time.

     God opens doors.

     Even when life consumes us, he will show us mercy.

     Even when we have hit our rock bottom, he will pick us up and carry us through the fires.

     Having faith in God; he will open doors that you never thought possible.  And provide things you couldnt have imagined for yourself.  Just the knowing that he is always on time provides unimaginable comfort.  He will provide an inner peace that never before existed.  Why waste time and energy stressing and worrying, risking your health over something that will work out in the end anyways.  God continues to show me that there is no need to stress because he will take care of me no matter what.  No matter what life looks like, he will carry me through anything that comes my way.  Just stay strong and continue to fight the battles that life brings our way.  Look forward to the rewards of our strength and endurance.

     God opens doors and he is always on time.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

RIP Lil Benny-Go Go Legend

Lil Benny-Washington Post Article

Video-Lil Benny and Ms Kim

Lil Benny-Hittin "Cat in da Hat"

Lil Benny's Music

RIP Lil Benny!  Dc has lost one of the pioneers of Go-Go this past saturday.  It has been a sad weekend in DC.  I have seen him live many, many times....He has performed recently....I heard that he performed at our hurch a lil over a week ago....So sad....He will SURELY be missed!!!!