Thursday, December 1, 2011

Affects of AIDS

It all started with a cough that just wouldn't go away
He still hadn't even admitted he was gay
He felt sick every day, he knew something wasn't quite right
He didn't have the strength anymore to fight this fight
After confirmation, then came deep depression
His family finally heard his heartfelt confessions
Depression took over and consumed
His worst fears were a reality and no longer assumed
He gave up hope completely
He was grieving inside deeply
Seclusion was his first defense
Total lies his lover told were the greatest offense
He now needed assistance with moms care
The pain was more then he could bare
His body was covered with a horrible rash
Continuously cursing at everyone, breaking moms heart with each lash
He didn't have the energy to get out of bed
It caused extreme pain to even move his head
Thresh would build up in his throat causing him to choke
His only enjoyment was his coffee and to smoke
His friends didn't understand and was scared to come around
Feelings of abandonment were profound
He lost so much weight that he looked like a skeleton covered with skin
He felt as if he were being punished for his sins
He refused his medication because he no longer wanted his life prolonged
This world he never felt as if he really belonged
He was always teased and tortured his entire childhood
It was obvious he was gay just by the way he stood
In his final days he told mom he saw God and that He needed him
He said the flowers in His garden were so amazingly beautiful even down to the stems
But he didn't want to leave his mother here
She told him his time to leave was near
She would miss him dearly but couldn't stand to see him suffer another day
Saying goodbye to her son wasn't easy finding the right words to say
Watching the constant torture was driving her insane
After three long years of suffering and pain
I knew he was gone at 5am, as soon as I heard the phone ringing
It sounded just like the angels were singing
He was now pain free and in a better place
Now life without him was not easy to face


Big Mark 243 said...

Man JStar, this sounds so personal... I am like it had to be someone that I KNOW... man, good stuff... maybe you should submit this somewhere, you know, a hospice for AIDS patients or some place like that...

Brian Miller said...

man..hard read...and sad reality of this dreadful disease...i hope that a cure is found one day...

JStar said...

Yes, Brian and Mark! This is very personal! Written for my big brother Joe Hurlburt 03/17/71 - 07/09/97. I post this every year on this day every year. He seccumed to Aids at the age of 26, after suffering only 3 long years.

Anonymous said...


Sorry to hear of your loss.