Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Doubt




Doubt

Doubting myself
Not sure if I am capable
Of loving
Another or myself
I see only my imperfections
How can someone else
Love me if I cant love myself
I am scared to give
Of my heart
And be hurt once more
Am I worthy of true love
Or am I just in love
With the idea of being loved
Am I worthy of someone
Looking past my imperfections
Wanting to heal my pains
Allowing me to cry
Holding me
When the nightmares consume
I desire to be loved
But terrified to let anyone in
I keep running
But I am tired
Tired of doubting

18 comments:

tha unpretentious narcissist© said...

stop doubting. everyone is worthy of true love. and that's the realization you must reach before you can actually find it.

nice poem as usual.

Brian Miller said...

you are worthy of love jstar...and i hope you find it. nice verse...and no worries, i rarelr rhyme....smiles

sheri said...

there is an awesome book by robert mcgee called the search for significance...i heartily recommend it! i struggled with the same thoughts as you are sharing because of all the lies i had heard about me, and all the lies i had told myself. it took the information in this book to literally change my way of thinking! you can get a used copy at half.com for less than a dollar. it's an ebay company, but you don't have to bid for anything.
not that this is 'the answer' but i am all for healing, having been a Christian who suffered with mental illness for far too many years.
who of us really knows what you are going through but i'm so glad that you are open and honest about it, willing to share!

Jingle said...

nice to see you in my blog,
Glad that you have your own car back.
Happy Wednesday!

Miss.Stefanie said...

Doubting is the devil. Keep pushing mama!

steveroni said...

Yesss, I am right on with Miss.Stephanie! (My name is Stephen!) That ole DEVIL is out to get us all, and it knows our weaknesses. And if you have a Higher power or a God of some kind, call on that Entity to ward off the "Evil Spirit". Believe me, I KNOW this can work, JStar.

I have been following you for long enough now to KNOW that you are worthy of not only "some"--but of ALL. You are most esteemed here in our mutual house, THE BLOG HOUSE! (Hey! I rather like that--the BLOG HOUSE!!!)

PEACE, JStar, and LOVE from me and bloggers everywhere

steveroni said...

"...my mind is playing tricks on me..."

SEE? THAT's the devil itself, throwing obstacles to your well-being and happiness. Maybe you can "Let GO...and Let God"?

Don said...

Rental car companies are always trying to tag something on a driver that was usually missed when the last driver returned the keys. I wouldn't even sweat it. Hahaha @ you threatening to cancel the account. I feel you.

I want it so bad that my mind is playing tricks on me...

I know what you mean...

Mr. Stupid said...

Everyone is worthy of true love. I'm sure you'll find it soon. My poems are worse. They hardly make sense.
Great post. Have a good day, JStar!:)

25champ said...

let go and let God... I know that u hear it all of the time, but it's true, when we first get back close to God its refreshing almost like being born again, but after a while we stray even if it's just mentally. This is time 2 walk with blind faith. U are beautiful, intelligent, and a woman of God. U are worth :)

Dulce said...

Oh my dear J. I feel so related to you again... i would have not said it better.
Great free verse!
:)

Cheer up- we must always cheer up. There is so much more in life than princes charming...(who, of course, do not exist)

The Visionary Butterfly said...

Self doubt is the worst, I guess it's a human thing we all experience. Hang in there-all will be well with you and there's no doubt about that. I hope the situation with the rental gets cleared up!

xo
Chadina

The Visionary Butterfly said...

Self doubt is the worst, I guess it's a human thing we all experience. Hang in there-all will be well with you and there's no doubt about that. I hope the situation with the rental gets cleared up!

xo
Chadina

The Write Girl said...

I understand the way you feel. It's so easy to doubt and look at our imperfections. But you are spiritually minded and know that God loves you. If God can love us with all of our imperfections, we can begin to love ourselves and others. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I pray that you find all the happiness you can hold. Have faith that things can change. I look forward to reading a breakthrough post!! Best wishes to you :)

Jingle said...

http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/07/55-human-minds-buzz-like-bumble-bees.html

Happy Friday!

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Eternally Distracted said...

I have everything crossed that things will start to improve for you and you stop doubting.

TechnoBabe said...

If you keep working it through, you will realize that you are worthy and you will not settle for less than the wonderful things you deserve.