Run Away

I am starting to feel feelings of love and I want to run

As far as possible in the opposite direction

Maybe a distraction or start an argument and be done

I just can't trust this passion, this longing affection

Replaying doubts and what if's for every possible scenario of what could go wrong 

Running before any sign of trouble, attempting to avoid heartbreak 

I can't imagine having to be strong

That mourning again I just can't take

But I want love more than anything else ever

I dream about it day and night

But nothing is a guarantee to last forever

It's a losing battle to even put up a fight

Because I feel everything deeper than most

I can't put my heart on the line to again be broken in shattered pieces

I just want to pack a bag and disappear to the coast

Get away until these feelings cease

But it's calling me by my name

Getting louder and louder not allowing me to rest

I can't repeat more of the same

I don't have the strength to pass this test

Mind clouded locating the easiest escape route to an unknown destination

Throwing away the keys to my heart

Raising my barriers for protection against deception

Running for me has been some form of art

And I don't know how to let anyone completely in

Vulnerability is uncomfortable and uncontrollable, avoiding at all cost

Images of the smirky grins 

As the lies my mind believed but in the end my love lost

How can I even consider putting myself out there

How could I have even allowed these feeling to grow 

How do I know he is sincere and truly cares

How do I just go with the flow

I have gotten myself in just a little too deep

And I don't know how to cope

Out of nowhere these feelings through the crevices seeped 

Now I feel like I am falling down the slipperiest slope

With no ability to grasp onto anything to pull myself out

No control over these emotions being felt

But living life without

A true love is not the hands I were dealt

I must learn how to let go of my fears and love with everything in me

I must learn to trust with all of my heart

But I don't know how to even clearly see

And I have no idea where even to start