Friday, November 23, 2012

Past

I have finally gotten over you and removed any love that was buried deep inside
Now you want to come back with your apologies and hidden truths confide
Expressing love and regret for the lack thereof
But it's too late because I released any ounce of love
I could no longer live in torture that you continued to demonstrate
When I poured my heart out you couldn't relate
So now your words fall on deaf ears
It's a shame we wasted all those years
I knew there was someone else that was caught in our path but you still deny
So why could I even begin to hear your lies
Maybe your words are sincere but that I will never know
For me, I had to let completely go
I can no longer allow my heart to linger in a love that only resided in me
If your love was true, you never let me in close enough to see
Words have no meaning when efforts aren't defined
How could you let me give all of me while you remained confined
Lead me on just enough for me to clutch onto
Without giving me all of you
Now you want to go back and rehash old faded memories in search of what was
My love doesn't work like that, and my heart can't hold on just because
Your finally ready to give me what i deserve
I haven't been sitting around waiting on you keeping my love reserved
I have moved past what could never be
And realized my self worth, my values are now clearer to see
I have to keep the past in the past
And only give time to those who have a true chance to last

2 comments:

Reggie said...

Sometimes you can't get over that love that went astray.

Big Mark 243 said...

I like what Reggie said but as I am a "therapy through comment" kind of person, I can't say that I agree.

People have gotten over me. Tee Jay, for instance. It has been a long time since we were even a couple much less cross paths and when we did, everyone had "moved on". We are Facebook friends but that is it. Like I told my current partner, she can be jealous if either of two things happen... I go to Detroit and/or I start blocking out weeks where she can't see me, supposing an "out-of-town guest" has come to the big O to pay me a visit. I think location plays such a big role in relationship, especially the trust aspect.

Not that was the problem with Nebraska and I but I am saying... when people take advantage of your emotions and play on the vulnerability you show to them, those kind of people never rehabilitate themselves... in fact, they do not see what they did "wrong", even when their transgressions may be obvious to others.

While there is still the lingering feelings for Nebraska, I am locked into "policy" and how I govern my own soul as to trying to initiate contact with her... and since she has not shown the wherewithal to meet or try to bridge the differences between us, I don't have to worry about being seduce with the lure of "things being better".

*sigh* It is hard when a person does not seem to care when you have feelings that is strong enough for the both. All they have to do is provide something you can hang on to and that is still to much to ask for.

Okay... enough rambling... I hope you had an enjoyable holiday and that you are looking forward to X-Mas and the New Year!